


World-Hopping Sakura Haruno!!

by WitchySkies123



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Partners, Polyamory, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchySkies123/pseuds/WitchySkies123
Summary: *Transmigration Plot* *Multiple Partners*Sakura Haruno had dreams of appearing in strange lands and running into strange children. A ’System’ with the voice of a little girl would order her to complete ‘missions’ in order to escape the dreams. Things like: “Find food for the starving kids” or “Teach them chakra control.”It was the 23rd century and Konoha was a lot different compared to the legendary Hokage Naruto’s days from hundreds of years ago.Except one day, a certain peppy voice said, “Tutorial Stage Over! Here’s your first world! Go back in time, gather the Akatsuki and tame them - erm, change their destiny! If you fail, Konoha will be destroyed. If you win, you can become a god…after fixing up other worlds. Good luck!”“Hey! Get back here you random talking system plot!”And just like that, she was sent to the past. In the middle of nowhere. Being insulted by two brats.What do you mean I died?!*P.S. Don’t worry, time skips exists lol* *Heat raises in later chapters**Transmigration story, world-hopping**Multiple worlds, multiple stories.* *Multiple Arcs with later ones raising the difficulty level haha*
Relationships: Akatsuki/Haruno Sakura, Deidara/Haruno Sakura, Gaara/Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruko
Comments: 74
Kudos: 165





	1. Arc One: Reborn in Another Konoha? What Do You Mean Akatsuki Taming?!

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting from my other account. Author notes reflect when I wrote the chaps like a diary so ignore. 
> 
> This sakura adventure is multiple arcs = multiple worlds. Ex: This first arc is Sakura in konoha as a ninja on crack ha. But next arc could be modern setting with Uchiha CEOs. Each world has a 'mission' by a 'System'. Anyway, read on to understand and hopefully get a chuckle!
> 
> Later on, romance will come, but for now setting stage. Poor Sakura is sex-less until she grows up. To her, it's the worst challenge to face hahaha
> 
> This Sakura is more accepting of her desires.

**World-Hopping Sakura: Arc 1: Akatsuki Taming?!**

SakuraXAkatsuki *Alternate Universe* *Transmigration Plot* *Multiple Partners*

Ever since she was young, Sakura Haruno had dreams of appearing in strange lands and running into strange children. A ’System’ with the voice of a little girl would order her to complete ‘missions’ in order to escape the dreams. Things like: “Find food for the starving kids” or “Teach them chakra control.” 

This went on for years. Then it stopped and she could live without going to alcohol therapy.

It was the 23rd century and Konoha was a lot different compared to the legendary Hokage Naruto’s days from hundreds of years ago. In this technological lifetime, she was a normal computer programmer who loved games and created special ‘bloodline cartridges’ that could replicate certain skills for shinobi to use in battle tournaments. She just assumed the dreams were some side effects of genjutsu sleeping pills and late night gaming sessions and left it at that. 

Except one day, a certain peppy voice said, “Tutorial Stage Over! Here’s your first world! Go back in time, gather the Akatsuki and tame them - erm, change their destiny! If you fail, Konoha will be destroyed. If you win, you can become a god…after fixing up other worlds. Good luck!”

“Hey! Get back here you random talking system plot!”

And just like that, she was sent to the past. In the middle of nowhere. Being insulted by two brats.

What do you mean I died?!

*P.S. Don’t worry, time skips exists lol* *Heat raises in later chapters**Transmigration story, world-hopping**Multiple worlds, multiple stories.* *Multiple Arcs with later ones raising the difficulty level haha*

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**CHAPTER ONE:**

“Sakura…! Sakura!”

The kunoichi groaned and rubbed her eyes. “What…”

“Sakura-chan!” Bright blue eyes hovered right above her face. Sakura scrunched her nose — ramen breath.

“BACK OFF PERV!!” Without a thought, she punched the boy out of her face and jumped to her feet — only to get dizzy and fall down again. The strong smell of grass and trees filled her nose, but her stomach didn’t settle at all. In fact, it freaked her out. She was just in her office and now she fell into some forest? Did she get drugged? “Ugh…I feel like I had a hangover…”

“Hn. How would you know how a hangover feels.” Sakura darted her eyes to the left at that voice — a stoic emo kid who made fun of her. Nooo. She already left the trials of high school years ago. 

“Run along, kid. Leave the adults to their problems.” Sakura snorted at the teenager and rubbed her forehead. _God. This is how people get overworked to death. I really should stop pulling all-nighters then drinking my ass off. I probably went crazy on my chakra again and ran into the wild._

“Aren’t you, like, fourteen Sakura-chan? You’re too young to drink.” A blonde happy-go-lucky kid said. “You sound like Kakashi-Sensei now.”

_Why are these kids here? What am I doing outside? And I know I look young for my age, but damn it! How rude! I am 28!_

Suddenly time froze and a strange voice popped in her head: 

[Welcome to Reincarnation 2.0! A new program built to godhood! Welcome, Sakura Haruno! Yay!] A cheery girlish voice rang in her mind and Sakura cursed. The voice from her past has come to harrass her once more. 

“No. No, no, no! Not this again!” Sakura grabbed at her hair and screamed. “I thought these dreams ended years ago!” Ever since she was young, she’d been boss around by some computer program “System” that bitched like a little girl. Always sending her on missions and such. She thought she cracked under puberty when these dreams first started! It was why she went wild in college.

[Ah, no worries about work. You died already!] the System cried cheerfully.

“WHAT! How did I die?” She didn’t question it seeing as she now had the body of a teen and apparently beat her ass in the forest with ramen boy breathing up in her face. If this was fake, then the sensations were way too advanced even for her world’s technology.

[You died from overworking. Head on the desk and everything. Quite devoted to your work, I see~ I knew I chose the right host!]

Sakura punched the air. “I didn’t have a choice!”

[Ehhh….so you want to go to hell? I could just let you go but…]

Sakura froze. She wasn’t religious, but the prospect of having spikes up her ass in a pit of fire would convert anybody. “W-Wait now! Let’s not be so hasty!” She waved her hands as if that mattered — nobody was there. “I paid taxes, was nice to my coworkers, did good deeds. Why would I go to hell?”

[If you don’t complete the missions, Konoha will die. There’s been some glitch in reality so we found out it’s because you were born. In order to fix reality, you need to complete missions in the worlds I don’t make the rules, sorry!]

Sakura could feel that headache grow stronger. “Uh…how many worlds?”

[Not sure! But don’t worry! I’m here and you can use me to guide you through the story plot and buy cool powers. We’re broke though so we need to build up karma points after this world so you’re on your own this time. The Akatsuki already began to exist, but it hasn’t decided on creating the ultimate weapon using demons yet so —]

Sakura zoned it out. “Too long. Just tell me when I do something super wrong like in the tutorial dreams you made me live with. This sounds like a video game of hell.”

[At least it’s not hell (yet)]

“What was that?”

[Nothing! Now, good news, no one missed you when you died so don’t feel sad. And if you can learn cool ninja stuff in this world, I may be able to retain a percentage of skills in coming worlds! Isn’t this exciting?]

“No! It! Is! Not! I wanna go home!”

[Hell it is —]

“Aw, man! I’m just kidding, friend. Can I call you friend? See, I love video games!” Sakura wanted to cry, but it was true. She was a loner who had a drinking problem and she was overworked because she had nothing in her life that interested her out of games. Her love life turned to shit when her rent rose and she only did no strings attached. The only one who would miss her was her boss. “If I knew this would happen, I would have gone on that orgy with those sexy dancers! Regrets!” 

Sakura sighed as she pitied herself. She flicked her long pink hair over her shoulder and pretended to be a martyr. “As a woman of the 23rd century of Konoha, I shall tell these men how modern women kick ass. Life is hard for the beautiful.”

[…Narcissist.]

“HA?! Why did you choose me then? You told me to raise some guys with love!”

[Above my pay grade. Anyway, quick plot — you’re the weakest team member and you’ll eventually marry the emo kid. But he’ll run away and go hang out with some snake man. Not important. Point is, you’ll need to train here for a few more years before emo kid will ditch you and you cry and then run off to find some Akatsuki babies. You just need to prevent the Akatsuki from forming and save Konoha.]

I thought you said Akatsuki was formed by now. How can I stop them when I’m too late?

[True. But those tutorial dreams where you fed kids or trained them and so on? They were real. So now a bunch of kids are looking for a pink angel, isn’t that nice?]

"…Did you start a religion? And aren’t they older than me then? I doubt they could have started the Akatsuki as children if this timeline is after I completed the missions in those tutorial dreams. They’ll be older and won’t believe this sweet innocent teen standing here was their angel from years ago! Useless! Get your own story straight, stupid System!"

[You know what — Let’s just throw you in. Good luck~!]

“WAIIIIIIT!!!” Sakura screamed to the skies. “Fucking evil bitch!!” She stomped her foot and ranted.

“S-S-Sakura-chan?” 

Sakura froze then slowly turned behind her — it seemed time went back to normal and the System just let her embarass herself. _Noted. System is her enemy._

Slowly, the pink girl smiled and dusted off her clothes. “I just realized I left my sanity at home. Now then, kid,” Sakura frowned and stepped toward the blonde one. The emo didn’t look cooperative. “How do you know my name and where am I?” _Channel mafia don. Be intimadating..!_

“We’re teammates, Sakura-chan! Did you lose your memories?! It’s me, Naruto!” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “We just graduated from the Academy! Don’t forget our beautiful friendship!”

“That’s stupid.” The emo kid said. “She’s just playing dumb. Probably to get out of ninja training.”

 _Hell no!_ “Now look here, Mr. Dark Eyed Poser, but just because I don’t know who I am doesn’t mean you can call me stupid! If you’re so much better than me, then go kiss yourself!” _I refused to believe this is the kid I was going to marry! What’s wrong with the original body? How can she like such a stick in the mud! I bet in ten years, he’d be horrible at sex. Always demanding and never pleasing. Fail._

For some reason, the emo looked shocked. 

Sakura frowned. “What’s wrong with him?”

Naruto paled. “Sakura-chan…you talked back to Sasuke. You really did lose your memories! Help! Kakashi-Sensei!!!” Then the whisker ninja ran off to find the sensei while Sakura turned her back on Sasuke. 

_…Can I time skip in this world? What if I just jumped off a cliff right now?_

[Then you fail the mission. And no time skips. You have to live it. Hahaha!]

_This is some fucked up version of reincarnation. At least send me to the good parts already! I don’t want to repeat school…Sob._

Soon after, a masked man poofed in front of her like a freaking genie. He was tall, lean and had that sexy lazy allure to his gaze…

He-llo~ Sakura winked up at the older man. _100 points. He looks like the type to cook you breakfast in the morning once you tame him._

[Uh…Host? Sakura? You’re fourteen right now.]

 _That’s okay. I can sacrifice myself and wait until I’m older for this eye candy_. She licked her lips subtly but smiled up like a good little girl straight after. “Hi handsome!” She waved like she didn’t just swore out the brats next to her. 

[Shameless. Careful, host, or you’ll be sent to the asylum for being too out of character!]

 _Heh. I lost my memories remember?_ Sakura was confident, give her ten years and she’d knock his socks off. In her college days, she wasn’t the Queen of the Night for nothing~

[Wait! Remember the mission! The Akatsuki people aren’t here. You won’t stick around Konoha for long. You have to save this world so don’t get too attached to this man…]

_Who said anything about attachment? I just want him once. See, I haven’t lived well in my old world and just worked myself to death! Now I’m young and still hot — so if you want me to finish the missions, you better give me some fun. I bet you want karma points for yourself, too, be honest! Don’t think I don’t know you systems are looking for promotions!_

It was employee reality 101. If a deal seemed too good to be true or too oppressive, then they definitely make a big profit off of you. And sure enough, the System caved in. 

[Okay! I’ll help you have…fun…but you better complete the missions!]

_Heheheh. Sure enough, she guessed right. Whatever. She died already. And the System’s problems were their fault not hers, so she doubted she’d go to hell. This System was like a baby compared to her. Pleasure to do business with you~!_

[You bully!] 

“Hello? Sakura? Remember me? I’m your teacher.” Kakashi waved his hand in front of her face. 

Sakura focused back on the stunning teacher and clasped her hands in front of her chest with a sad moan. “Oh, no, but I’d love to know you better.”

Kakashi looked taken aback and Sakura switched tactics. _Shit. Forgot my age_. Sakura coughed and dialed down the drama. “I mean…Sorry, but no, Teacher.” _I’m a born actress!_

Kakashi raised a brow, leaned in and placed his hand on her forehead, his large, calloused palm stirring up wicked thoughts. 

_Ugh! I can’t believe I can’t eat meat for the next four years!_ With a small pout, she asked, “Sensei? Will you help me? I don’t know who to trust…” Mwahaha. This is way more fun than work! Look at this gorgeous god. _Come, System, I will channel all my years of watching shinobi soap operas for you!_

Kakashi winced at the look of obvious trust in her eyes. Those bright green eyes glistened up at him like a puppy’s and he surged with guilt. Just a minute ago, he believed she was faking it to show off to Sasuke. The ‘act hot, act cold’ trick kunoichi liked to do…but now he just felt ashamed. She really did lose her memories. “It seems there’s no fever. And I didn’t see any obvious wounds. We’ll take you to the hospital, okay?”

“Okay, Sensei. Can you…Can you let me ride on your back? I feel so dizzy…” Sakura held her arm to her forehead. “Oh…”

“…” Kakashi sighed. He was her teacher, though he didn’t really believe he was good at it. “Here.” He crouched down to Naruto and Sasuke’s shock and the weak kunoichi jumped on without hesitation. 

Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her smirk. Whether her beloved teacher would care if she moved her hands a bit too much down his chest wouldn’t matter. _I knew it! I haven’t touched a decent pectoral in two years._ Hunger surged in her eyes.

[…] The System started to feel regret, but it was too late.

And just like that, Sakura Haruno clutched to her teacher’s back and the pair ditched the two protagonists behind.

The System began to worry. What was wrong with this Sakura? Did it pick the right host?

Well. There’s no going back now. It’s promotion was at stake!

  
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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Yeah. I love transmigration novels. 

Also, this was SUPPOSED to be some very sexy Akatsuki harem smutty one shot…but it went into a whole multiple world story line. Sakura will just have to play the long game. NOW WARNING: This storyline is more smutty but there is romance so boom. Later arcs will vary, but the first one will try to be reasonable (well, if Sakura can hold her hands back).

Each world is a different storyline. I just kept the first world closer to Naruto original world for my own fantasy haha She has to prevent Akatsuki from destroying Konoha and tame them.

Yes, Sakura is OOC. But she’s from the future Konoha and way more confident in herself despite being overworked to death. Hope you like this alternative world Sakura.

IDK how long each world will be, but since I love reading these type of themes, I figure why not start one? It’ll be good practice. 

Yes, I know. I also have other series. So this will be fun. I litterally just wrote 15k in a week at least so my fingers hurt. I need to down some fish oil pills. Tbh I feel a lot better writing these days. Haven’t touched my nintendo switch so far. 

This is what happens when you’re stuck at home. Oh well, I love it.

As always, hope you enjoy this spin off and please leave a review!

Ciao Ciao,

WitchySkies


	2. Stuck in an Old-Fashioned Ninja World!

Chapter Two: “Stuck in an Old-Fashioned Ninja World”

“Damn it. For all you single ladies! Do not let your career dry up your sex life! It ain’t worth it!”  
— **By Kunoichi Sakura Haruno “Because I died once, I have to live with an eight year dry spell.”**

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At Konoha Hospital…

Sakura swung her legs off the bed as the doctor spoke to Kakashi. “Sakura has amnesia. It looks permanent, but whose to say? It seems she understands chakra and jutsus very well, but seems to have forgotten how to actually, um, do the seals and hand signs of a basic rookie. I fear she would have to start over, but don’t fear, Sakura has a fine mind so she’ll catch up!” The doctor patted the crestfallen sensei. “What exactly happened again?”

Kakashi glanced down at his oblivious student, “I’m not really sure…”

Sakura looked up and smiled cheerfully like a school girl and said, “I think I was trying to help rescue a cat form a very tall tree and, well, lost my balance!Tee hee~” She stuck her tongue out playfully. _This is how normal teens act right?_

Kakashi heaved a long sigh. “It seems karma has hit me. Well, that’s what she says, doc.”

Sakura piped in, “The cat landed safely though!”

“I see. Her psych evaluation states she’s fine.” Both the doctor and Kakashi stare at the young pinkette as she kept trying to scratch under headband. “…But nothing is set in stone. We’ll do a check up next week. Until then, if you’ll excuse me.” 

The doctor left leaving Sakura and Kakashi alone. There was an awkward silence.

“Sooo, Sensei,” Sakura said. “Am I getting kicked out of the ninja academy?”

“No, we’ll try to get you updated as fast as we can before the chunin exams. If you truly feel you can’t handle the workload, then we can discuss it then.” Kakashi rubbed his temple. This is why he didn’t like teaching. Something always happened. At least she wasn’t fawning over the Uchiha anymore.

“Well —“

[Sakura! If you do NOT go to school, not only will you fail this world and get into karma point debt, but I will make sure in the next world that you have to be a nun!]

Sakura straightened her back and gave her most serious look she could muster. Like a captain about to steer through stormy seas, she cried out, “Sensei! I’ll be the very best damn student you ever had! Don’t worry about kicking me out of school — it ain’t gonna happen! Have no fear, Sakura’s here!”

“…” Kakashi just lost all hope. First the girl was amnesic, then she stopped fawning Sasuke and now she’s acting a bit like a weird version of Naruto. Their booksmart student may have dropped her IQ…”Right. Please do your best.” _Crap, I don’t know what to say. I’m really bad with children._

“Thank you Sensei!” Sakura smiled big then jumped off the bed to hug around Kakashi’s waist. She grinned into his stomach and secretly measured his waist. _Oooh, how perfect! Give me four more years Sensei then I’ll really show you whose the real Sensei. Hehehe, Konoha won’t have a better kunoichi then me. Speciality: Se-duc-tion~!_

[Can you stop molesting your teacher?]

_Never! I was only 28 when I died you know! It had been a few years of abstinence. I’m quite hungry._

[Why are you acting like a succubus?! Calm down, the teacher is getting scared!]

Tch. Sakura dropped her arms and slowly retreated. “I look forward to being under your tutelage, Kakashi-Sensei!” Before she could finish speaking, the teacher disappeared in a poof of smoke. 

“…I guess he noticed I was groping his waist huh. I think I did get carried away…Do you think I’ll get sued?”

[Well, he ran to a bar so I assume your safe.]

…”Why am I a 14 year old girl again? Why couldn’t you make me a hot secretary or a badass Anbu?”

[I don’t make the rules. Besides the girl you are now has the same name as you. Appreciate it. Her only wish was to be strong and loved by Sasuke so your lucky the mission this time isn’t fulfilling the host body’s wish or you’d have to date that boy you just insulted]

“God. Sasuke? The chauvinist? If he were ten years older, I’d break him in. Whatever. All I have to do is train here, get dumped by emo kid and then run away from a village of assassins to go be a mother figure to some dudes who saw me in their dreams. Is that all?”

[…I’m sorry, I do not create the missions. But that’s all! Once you collect - erm, convince the men to stop their attack on Konoha, you can change worlds and go to the next mission.]

“I need something better. How about I finish the mission and you let me choose when I want to leave the world after I have a little adult fun? Then I’ll work extra hard for you. Or else I’ll keep flirting with my teacher.”

[…Fine! Deal! Karma points are going to be important to both of us, you know! You can even go back to life if you manage the impossible!]

“Then say those things earlier! If I knew that, I wouldn’t have gone groping people!”

[You shouldn’t anyway.]

“Well, I died once, so I let myself get a bit crazy. Let’s just get out of the hospital already before I keep thinking about my stupid ass death. Damn it, I thought I would die in some honey’s arm but nooo! I died from work stress. I regret everything!” 

Sakura stomped out of the hospital without thinking of any real plan, but she did see a donation box with some junk so she grabbed a couple things and went out on the streets. 

“Okay, so how do I find the targets.” Sakura wore sunglasses and a thick scarf and looked around dramatically like a detective who never finished a case. “Meet-cutes, right? Hot guy comes around the corner, I spill coffee, he spills his number —“

[Stop trying to hook up, you horny office worker! You DO actually have to train as a ninja, so study seriously Sakura. You can’t just switch jobs to programming either. That tech doesn’t exist yet so deal with it!]

Sakura whined, “I don’t know how to fight! I only needed to insert a game cartridge in my personal bloodline stimulator and it did all the cool power shit for me! What’s with these crazy bloodlust ninja — go play video games!”

[These ninja are the reason Konoha exist so stop being a child! Sure the other Sakura was weak as a child, and you’re weaker than weak, but with years of practice, you’ll make it through this world!]

“No way. Years of training?! Hell no! There has to be a better way!” She pulled at her hair, ignoring the strangers who avoided her as they passed her by. “I’ll create my game power system! That’s the answer!”

[Don’t mess with history!]

“It can be a secret!”

[How? By hiding it in your bra and pretending you can do water jutsus from voice command? This is not the future and you have no tech. Give up, Sakura!]

“NOOOOOO!!!!”

“U-Um, Sakura-chan, I came to visit you…Did Kakashi-Sensei leave you alone?” Naruto scratched his head as he stared at her insane monologue session on the street. “Do you need to go see a doctor? You look stressed.”

“Ah!” Sakura’s eyes lit up. “Naruto-kun!” She leaped in front of him with hands clasped. “Can I ask a biiiiig favor?”

“Y-Yes?!” He blushed. “Anything!”

“Can you help me study? I forgot a bit of things and I don’t want to be weak forever!” Especially if I have to run away and fight random ass ninja. _Why me? It’s good that I have excellent memory, but…but…I hate studying…!!!_

“A-Ano…The truth is…” Naruto’s blushed deepened. “I suck at studying, too.”

“…Don’t you have books and know the basics of ninja-dom?”

“Eh? Ninja-dom? I mean, sure, I can tell you the basics.”

“Then you’re perfect! We can study together!” Sakura wrapped her arm around his. “Later on we’ll invite some smart cookies. Like that pale eyed cutie over there.” She noticed a shy girl around the corner. Since she was staring at them for a while, she assumed the girl wanted to join in. Ah, youth. “HEY! YOU THERE! WANNA STUDY WITH US?!” _I need more heads to suck knowledge out of!_ Sakura waved her hands wildly.

Naruto just noticed the girl and also joined in on Sakura’s madness, “Hey Hinata! Wanna come?” He whispered to Sakura, “Hinata is, like, super smart and nice - and you of course!”

After a minute of coercing, Hinata finally stepped over timidly and nodded her head. “Y-Y-Y-Ye-“

“Great!” Sakura smiled big and latched her other arm around hers. “Let’s go!” Awww, what a cutie!

And just like that the two were dragged by rampaging kunoichi…Naruto explained the situation to Hinata while they walked…

Five minutes later. 

Sakura turned to Naruto. “Hey, where do I live again? Oh, wait, we’re going to your house for books. Nevermind, where do you live?”

“EH?! Then why were we walking this way for five minutes?”

“I don’t know? Got caught in the moment sheesh. Also, there was this hot teacher I saw…so I accidentally got distracted…” She drooled a tiny bit.

“That’s Iruka-sensei! Your tastes have gotten stronger, Sakura-chan.” Naruto was honestly confused. How’d Sakura go from liking Sasuke to liking Iruka-Sensei? “You used to really like Sasuke-Teme. Not like I mind! I’m glad you don’t!”

“Ha? Mr. Hates-Me-With-Just-One-Glance Stuck-Up the Third? No way. After losing my memories, I think I’ve found the secret to true love. Mature men are the way to go! Right Hinata-chan?”

Hinata giggled. “Y-Yes…Sakura…Chan.” She blushed. She actually talked to someone outside of her team!

“I like that! We’re going to be good friends, Hinata-chan! Now, let’s study till our heads drop!”

And so began the start of a beautiful friendship.

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Somewhere far away, a teen watched as a familiar girl insulted his brother. She fell down suddenly and then jumped right back up a completely different person. 

The pink-haired girl looked very familiar, but he ignored it. He only wanted to see his brother one last time before leaving for the Akatsuki. 

_He’ll never forgive me…As he shouldn’t._

The next time he comes here, he’ll make sure the boy hates him and grows powerful. The village is only as safe as he can take care of himself.

For some reason, that pink hair felt really familiar…But that was only his brother’s idiotic teammate. 

Itachi shook off his thoughts and disappeared. 

_If Sasuke doesn’t get stronger soon, it’ll be too late. Soon, Konoha will have a reckoning…_

  
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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Yeah, so Sakura will have a lot on her plate.

And yeah, the 28 year old femme fatale stuck re-living puberty will need to be patient for her love life lol

This arc won’t be crazy long as there are other worlds I want to write. 

Example, the next world will be set in modern times and there are Uchiha brother dynamics…

If you like world hopping stories where each arc is a different plotline.  
If you like a seductive Sakura who knows what she wants but has no strings attached.  
If you like semi obssessive semes who act yandere…  
And a bunch of odd jokes…

Then welcome!

Follow this story to keep updated. I’ll try to update chapter titles by arc, but we’ll see. IDK yet. Maybe when I change worlds, I’ll do it.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this story and see you next time!

(Yeah, had a bunch of sakura story ideas but didn’t want to keep starting new story for every crazy lovable plot of sexy madness, so this story was born. It’s just a bunch of different stories centered around a woman and a “System” who keeps telling her the plot and has to make sure the lazy host will do her job. Have fun!)

Please review and good night!


	3. Messing With an Uchiha

Chapter Three: “Messing With an Uchiha”

“Life is way too short. Go wild, but don’t forget your homework or how will you pay for the strip club in the future?”  
— **Life Tips from a probably insane kunoichi. “No, I didn’t buy out all the tequila and tried to re-sell them.”**

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A certain Uchiha loner paced the streets of Konoha when he caught sight of a pink menace fighting over ramen with the idiot of the village. They were screaming over who could eat the last bite since they paid half each. Ever since Sakura lost her memories, she’s been an entirely different person. Now there were two idiots plaguing the streets of the ninja village. Just yesterday, the two were caught grafitting the hokage’s faces on the mountain as part of a “tour of konoha.”

“Tch. He’s been spending a lot of time with Sakura.” He better not be neglecting his training. His rival was becoming more of a joke than usual. And now he was babysitting Sakura who couldn’t block his punches that well. _What are they going to do on their missions?_ He glared at the menace who started all this. _She should just quit before she pulls us down._

Sakura saw Sasuke glaring at them and Naruto stole the ramen bowl when she wasn’t looking. “Wow. He’s like an angry puppy.” She heard his story from her new study partners and tried to think of him…nicer. It didn’t help that he really acted like an ass to her. For example, last time Team Seven trained, he tripped her up and then ‘sparred’ with her in which she ended up getting punched in the face. _Motherfucker planned it!_

Seeing the angry Uchiha, Sakura glared back then flipped him off. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” And ran off leaving Naruto with the bowl. Naruto cluelessly just slurped and said bye back. Sasuke seethed before running off himself to punch something.

 _SHANAROOO!!! I WILL GET STRONGER THAN HIM AND BEAT HIS ASS!!!_ Since she came here, Sasuke’s been a pain in her ass. So she’s been a very studious student…All in the name of revenge! “One day, I’ll punch his face to the ground!”

The system sighed. [For a so-called adult, you sure get caught up in the most childish of fights]

“You just don’t understand humans, System.” Nowadays she talked to the reincarnation plot system thing like a gossiping wife. “Children should be taught a lesson. I’m just helping him with his mental growth, you know. By beating the shit out of him in training. The kid looks down on everybody and that’s not healthy for him.”

[There’s a whole lot of things wrong with those statements, but I don’t care. As long as you train hard.]

“See, you get me.” She winked to the air. “Now, friend, make sure to set me up nice in the next world. Having a harem is a-ok!”

[No can do. Get back to studying!]

Sakura waved her hand dismissively, “Right, right. All I gotta do is memorize hand signs, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Two weeks later…

Sakura lounged lazily with a textbook laid out on the table. She’d been studying for four hours so she was beat. “Ughhhh!!! I don’t get it! I understand the theories, and I can manipulate chakra to good enough control, but what’s with all the hand signs?! There’s like fifty for every little jutsu!” She kicked her feet childlishly and jumped up from her seat. “History be damned. At this rate, Sasuke will beat my ass everyday. What the hell is his problem? And why is Naruto looking slightly jealous? Don’t join him in beating me up! I thought we were ramen comrades, damn it!”

Sakura growled as she thought about the past two weeks. Ever since she stole Naruto away to study sessions, Sasuke has been giving her hotter glares than usual. It got to the point that she may have dug a pit on the training grounds then possibly tricked him into falling down during training…And left him there. But that was pay back for all the hard punches he kept throwing on his sweet, amnesic teammate!

But because of that, she had to think of a way to get stronger faster or she’d end up moving into Konoha Hospital. Funnily enough, ever since Kakashi-Sensei dropped her off at the hospital, he made sure to stay a few feet away from her. Damn it.

And so, distraction-less, Sakura trained like crazy with Naruto and Hianta. Somehow, their training roped in Neji with the excuse of “watching over Hinata” and then followed naturally by Tenten and Lee. Her chakra control increased exponentially, but her power was still weak, which pissed her off. 

“There has to be a better way!!” Sakura picked up the book and ran her finger against the paper. Back in the future, she’d mostly dealth with keyboards, tablets and AR tech. Paper was mainly used for sentimental things like writing a chores list she would never do. “If only I could just write things on paper and blast everyone away.”

[You mean seals?]

“Huh?”

[Huh?]

“Of course! That’s it!” Sakura jumped in the air with a fist-pump. “I’ll become a seal genius! Fuinjutsu right? Lee is a taijutsu genius who only uses kicking and shit. Why can’t I just use seals?” 

[Because Lee can’t use his chakra and you need to actually be able to survive out of the village! No slacking!]

“Now, now, System. You’re not thinking out of the box.” Sakura’s smile became an evil grin. “Necessity is the mother of invention, heheh. All I need are some high level techniques and learn how to heal and then leave the rest to some excellent seals! And I can stuff endless food and weapons inside these scraps of paper. It’s nothing compared to my good old game system, but it is enough.”

[…You realize the Akatsuki will be the greatest threat to Konoha in the next ten years and you expect to make them listen to you with the bare minimum? And besides, seals are very delicate work that requires much experience.]

….”Fine I won’t limit myself to seals. But I’m still making them! I’ll study hard, tch. Genjutsu would be a good direction…But first I need to settle something. But you are wrong on one thing.” She took out some old books on seals and licked her lips. “You’re look at a programmer. Delicate work and hashing things together to create a system are our specialty. And I have top notch chakra control.” 

Sakura continued, “And besides, money’s super tight these days. Maybe I can sell seals? The government program of this village only gives enough for rent and food.” Since the original Sakura lived by herself, she didn’t have much in savings let alone buying a shit ton of weaponry and supplies. “I’m going to have to borrow some from the Uchiha.”

[Sakura!]

“Kiiiidding!” Sakura sighed. “I’ll need to find a way to earn extra income if we’re gonna run away in a few years. Well, that’s a problem for another day.”

Then she disappeared into her room and began writing on the seal papers she stole from the academy. 

……………….

……………..

…………….

  
Then next morning…

“So you’re here.” Two shinobi stood across the battlefield in battle stance as a wind blew across like the beginning of a ninja western film. 

“Hn. Come on, Forehead. You never quit.” Sasuke scoffed.

“Today will be different!” Sakura glared.

Kakashi stood on Sasuke’s side of the field as he monitored. He wasn’t scared of Sakura, he just saw her fatal attraction to Sasuke somehow changed to him and he hoped by standing next to her ex-idol, she’d change back. He actually wanted her to change back. I don’t know how Sasuke handled those hungry stares. Women are scary, but girls are bolder these days. I…need another drink after this.

“Let’s just start.” Sakura took the rare initiative and rushed toward the Uchiha. She tossed a scroll out and immediately did a few hand signs, “Kai!” Immediately, a bunch of kunai flew out towards Sasuke. 

_Heheh. Say hello to my Fuinjutsu! Now all I need is a scroll and I can carry a whole fridge in here! Maybe I can kidnap a whole chef!_

[Hey! You’re supposed to fighting not dreaming about food!] The System cried out. It was tired of seeing the host beat up by teens.

Sasuke dodged most of the kunai, but one hit his shoulder and he pulled it out. “Tch. Isn’t that Tenten’s specialty? Can’t come up with your own?”

“What! It’s cool and no one said I couldn’t use scrolls. Take this!” Sakura summoned a shadow clone and then they ran next to each other and started switching places in zig zag motions to confuse the enemy. Then one of the Sakuras went to throw a few kunai at Sasuke before running away. 

Sasuke smirked, “You can’t win like that! What’s the point of that clone, baka!” He immediately did a fire jutsu and a burst of flame burst out of his mouth — Sakura jumped back and blocked it by throwing another scroll that released a flood of water.

“How many scrolls did you make?!” Sasuke avoided the water and threw more kunai back.

Sakura dodged and smiled, “It’s a se-cret~” while she ran around the ninja.

Since I can’t use my game cartridges, thse fuinjutsu AKA can-hold-anything-including-people sealing jutsu will be the paper version. I’m back in business, baby! Things, people and chakra are all fair game. If my research is accurate, a whole village was wiped out due to the threat of the power of their seals. Bingo~

It took Sakura all night just to make the seals and she stopped because she had no more chakra until the next day. And now the moment has come…She smirked back evilly. “Fire? You think too small, Sasuke-kun. That’s just a blowtorch.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “If I recall, you’re an earth and water base. You can’t use fire even if you wished, Forehead. You also didn’t use a regular water jutsu and just relied on your scroll so you haven’t mastered that technique. You’re out of ideas, Sakura. Heh.”

Sakura just kept smiling, “The key is to think smarter not harder. Why tire myself out when I can just use a scroll premade. My little microwave saving my dinner instead of using a pot for forever.”

Sasuke got a headache talking oto her. “Can you STOP talking about food?! You should quit being a ninja and become a chef, weakling.”

“Heh. HAHAHAHA!!! Then learn the hard way, Sasuke-kuuuun! Fear my wrath!!!” Sakura laughed maniacally as she pulled out another scroll and yelled, **“EXPLOSIOOOON!!!”**

Sasuke moved to dodge, but in an instant the whole field was filled with a giant bomb! The explosion was big enough that smoke reached to the skies. **BOOOOOOM!!!**

After the smoke cleared, Sasuke laid on the ground while Sakura jumped from the trees. 

Naruto gasped, “When did you get so far?!”

“I was waiting there the whole time! My clone was doing all the battling for me. Neat, huh? See — charred log over there.” Sakura yawned. 

“Awesome!” 

Kakashi hurried to Sasuke’s side. The Uchiha was out cold on the ground as smoke rose off his back. He checked his pulse — clear. There were some burn marks, but that could be fixed. It seemed he only hit by the explosion’s whiplash. When he didn’t move, a longer silence pervaded the field when suddenly Naruto cheered. “Go, Sakura-chan! I knew you could do it!” He fist pumped in the air and then ran up to give her a big hug.

Sakura giggled as she hugged him back. “Of course! All our training paid off and it’s all thanks to you and Hinata!”

Naruto paused in his hug and stared at the pinkette, “Y-You really mean that?”

“Of course!” Sakura rubbed his head until those blonde spikes turned into a bird’s nest. “Aren’t you the one whose catchphrase is believe it? So I did. We’re friends aren’t we? Of course I believe you!” Then she glared. “And we better be best friends!!”

Naruto teared up and he hugged her harder. “S-S-Sakura-chaaaan!!!”

Sakura laughed as she pointed to Sasuke’s unconscious body. “Mwahaha, in your face Sasuke! Feel my wrath! Ok, Naruto, since I’m on a roll, you’re next!”

“Dattebayo! Let’s go!”

Kakashi was surprised at Sakura’s growth. Huh. Maybe he could get used to this Sakura…Then he saw her wink at him and he shook his head. If only she could grow out of this crushing phase of hers…

Sakura looked at the decimated field and a sense of deja vu came over. “Huh. Why does this scene look familiar?”

[…] The System remained silent. The host has forgotten all about her previous tutorial dreams, hasn’t she? Will she even recognize their faces…No, she has perfect memory…but she is also easily distracted…I don’t know about this…

And so another day in Konoha came to pass…

Meanwhile, in a faraway village, a blonde teenager was busy sculpting yelling, “Explooooosion” just like that mysterious sensei in his dreams. But that’s a story for another time.

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Now Sasuke had his ass beat, what will he do?

And how does training go on now that Sakura is also bothering Lee, Neji and Tenten. Will Hinata finally confess? 

Plus, Sakura has to pass the chuunin exams.

For a girl who only barely caught up in the training, she managed to piss a lot of people off hahaha. Will she be able to get over hunger for Kakashi and will Naruto be booted off as protagonist? The System is worried.

And can Sakura run away earlier?! She justs wants to get the Akatsuki shut down already!! Her future harem demands it!

……If the village knew what was in her mind, I swear.

Well, hope you enjoy this latest installment in the adventure. Please review and see ya next time!

—WitchySkies (who also wants to see Akatsuki already)

P.S. Fuinjutsu was the first thing that came up when I tried to think if I were a ninja and wanted to have max results while being lazy, what would I do? Found on google that Uzushiogakure in land of whirlpools were specialists of this art nand wwere destroyed because they were too effective. If that ain’t proof that the technique is badass, I don’t know what is. I don’t need a bloodline *sniffs in background*


	4. Business is Booming!

Chapter Four: “Business is Booming”

“The business of my enemy becomes the start of a beautiful friendship.”  
— **Confessions of a Pink Loving Kunoichi “No, I did not get bribed. All’s fair in love and weekly paychecks. Especially if the victim-erm, friend is loaded.”**

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………………………..

Early the next day, Sakura was surprised to see Sasuke at her door. He glared at her, “Tell me about your seals.”

“…” She slammed the door in his face.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK —

Sakura yanked the door open and yelled, “What is your problem?! It’s my day off! And just so you know, I’m not into men bossier than me!”

Sasuke raised a brow. “At least you’re self-aware. You have a study group, don’t you?” Sasuke stuck his foot in the doorway. “I never would have lost like that if you didn’t rely on your seals. Since you defeated me, you must help me learn as your teammate. And teammates help each other, right?” He crossed his arms with a smirk as if she couldn’t refuse.

“….No.” She almost slammed the door on his foot anyway, but he held the door. Sakura scoffed. “This is a terrible way to ask to hang out with us. And aren’t you a loner?”

Meanwhile the System was scolding her [Sakura! You’re supposed to be sad when he leaves. Right now, no one would believe that if you don’t calm down! Don’t you feel sorry for him? He lost his whole family!]

 _…System. So did Naruto and I. You’re just playing favorites. Whatever — I wasn’t planning on picking the boy for long. You do realize he beat my beautiful face in for the past few weeks, right? My FACE._ Sakura cursed the system out, but relented. She took in a very deep breath then asked, “Okay, Sasuke, I’ll tell you what I know, but it ain’t free. You have supplies and weaponry and you’re rich. Naruto and I don’t have a lot to work with. If you can help us out, I’ll make a deal with you.”

“Deal.” Sasuke didn’t hesitate. “Come to my house with the dobe and pick what you need. Take some scrolls to store the items. If your knowledge is useful then I won’t be stingy. IF.” He smirked then walked away. 

Sakura rolled her eyes, but smiled. _At least he would make a great business partner — I mean, teammate._ “Score! I have more money for ramen this month! If I prolong the study sessions, I can make this arrangement last me quite a while. I better make sure I know more than him…My new business is born! Sakura’s Seals! MWAHAHAHA!! No more broke bitches here!”

[I swear. You forget you’re a ninja.]

“Meh. People change occupations a lot in their career. I promoted myself. Merchants make more money.” Sakura then got ready and went to pick up Naruto.

Twenty minutes later…

“Naruto! WAKE UP!!!” Sakura knocked on the door rapidly. “WE’RE RICH!”

“Eh? Sakura-chan?” A mumbled voice came from behind the door and Naruto’s groggy face popped out. “What happened? Did you hit your head again?”

“No! Come on, get ready!” Sakura ignored the fact that she was acting like Sasuke and shook Naruto’s shoulders. “I got the rich Uchiha brat to make a deal. He said we can grab anything we wanted from his house. Paper, kunai — the whole package! We don’t need to save for weapons anymore! We can splurge on ramen for the next month!

“S-Seriously?!” Naruto’s eyes popped out and he cheered, “BELIEVE IT! I can’t believe you got Teme to make a deal with you! Way to go, Sakura-chan!” He shut the door and yelled — a few things crashed — “One minute! I’ll change right now!”

Sakura laughed. Man, today really is a good day! She started listing everything she wanted — kunai, shuriken, shit ton of paper, ink, a shirt (hey, the Uchiha fabric is quite comfy for pajamas)…the list was endless. If he didn’t let her have the shirt, she’ll just “borrow” it. Heheheh. Greed took over her brain as she counted the dollar signs. If she manages to take a few personal items of Sasuke’s…she could even sell it to the rabid fangirls for big bucks! She already started selling drawing prints she made of Sasuke to the little girls of the village. “It helps to have Konoha’s #1 bad boy idol on her team.” Even Ino became a regular customer. In fact, now that she wasn’t crushing on the teen, she became good friends with her and offered to help take care of the sales of the prints at the flower shop. Business was booming!!

_Grow, my piggy bank, GROW!!!_

[Can you not create an idol culture around the village’s soon to be #1 traitor?]

“What they don’t know can’t hurt them. That only makes these years a golden business opportunity!”

A minute later, Naruto jumped out of the door in his usual orange uniform.

Sakura raised a brow. “Don’t you have casual clothes? It’s our day off. We’ll get ramen, my treat.” She chose to wear a cute green dress today.

“I don’t have much clothes.” A blush painted his face. Was this a date?! B-But Sakura is treating me. I don’t know — “I have a couple of T-Shirts…”

Sakura only slapped his back. “That’s all good! But you’re already changed so no biggie. Hinata will be happy with whatever!” She laughed like she was his big sister telling him what to choose on his first date. 

“Huh? Hinata?” Naruto was confused.

“Man, you’re clueless. Nevermind! After today, we’ll have enough money to get a bit of extra stuff. I have a couple small businesses going on, so I’ll spot you. We’re a team! And so we’re family! When you’re with me, I’ve got your back!” Sakura really began to see him as a little brother. _Let’s see, I’ll get him some cool shirts and more food…He can’t ONLY eat ramen. Even I know that! Maybe I’ll set him up with Hinata later…The boy needs some love help._

[You just want to play matchmaker.]

Shh! Sakura grabbed his arm — “Come on! The sooner we get there, the more we can carry! If you also manage to grab some personal clothes of Sasuke’s, I can make some big bucks. We’ll split the proceeds 50/50. Deal?” She winked.

“Ohhh, that’s evil. I like it! Right! Let’s go!” Naruto winked back and a new partnership was formed. 

_Sigh. Business is going to be great. Before Sasuke runs away with some snake perv, she was going to make him Konoha’s #1 Secret Idol. 100% proceeds to her business and partners, of course. Sasuke is already rich. I’ll just pay him with seals. I’ll need to improve my seals anyway if I want to run a business with them when I run away. I’ll make sure my seals become more famous than Konoha itself!_

The System sighed. [How did they go from a ninja survival world and turn it into a business building story? Are we really going to finish this mission in one piece?]

And so, the two foxes ran off to find the Uchiha compound.

……………………

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At the Uchiha Compound…

“Sasuke! Open up and pay me!” Sakura yelled at the door while Naruto looked around the place. 

“Wow! Sasuke’s place is super big! I live in a closet compared to him. Maybe that’s why he looks alone a lot.” Naruto empathized with his teammate. 

Sakura nodded. “Yes, he is lonely. I agree with you, Naruto-kun.” 

“Agree with what?” Sasuke growled when he opened the door. 

“Nothing!” Sakura laughed awkwardly before swinging her arm around his shoulders like an old pal, “Just saying how strong you are and we should train more often. Now where shall I provide my brilliant knowledge on the intricate work of seals?”

Sasuke shrugged off her arm with a scowl and led the way. “Over here. Remember, you get paid if you tell me something I don’t know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hear that, Naruto? Piece of cake.” She grinned back at her new best friend.

One hour later…

Sakura smiled, “So, Sasuke, did that answer your questions?”

“Hn.” Sasuke focused on the notes he took during her lesson. “What a strange way to think of seals. What did you say before — computers? You mentioned it twice.”

“O-Oh, that’s just something I like to say when I can’t think of a word. Basically a nickname I use for my awesome seal systems. Computer programming is basically a set of code words just like how these seals use certain chainlinks of chakra to form…” Sakura went on to explain how she visualized the chakra in an organized system and how she manifested those chakra systems onto the seals and the drawn versions are the physical link holding her layers upon layers of chakra together…basically like a painting. You needed layers of paint on each other to add depth to the full painting, same thing here but more systematic.

Sasuke frowned. “I only knew about the traditional ways of creating seals. The amount of chakra control you need to form these systems onto the seal is the same kind you need to do highly advanced medical jutsu. I admit I underestimated your skill, Sakura.” He looked back at her with a newfound respect.

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Hm? I just thought of a way to get our team more united, System. With a sly grin, she said, “You know, Sasuke-kun,” She gave a nod. “Naruto was the one who taught me to think out of the box when I lost my memory. So in a way, he helped give me the idea for this new seal process.” Heheheh. 

“Naruto? Really?” Sasuke looked at the sleeping ninja. Just one hour and the idiot passed out. “That Naruto?”

“Hey, he’s smarter than he looks. Sure, he may not get the details a lot, but our cute friend here has the idea power needed to really revolutionize things!” Sakura gave a pround thump over her heart. “Ninja’s Honor!”

“…” Sasuke sighed. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was too late to take his words back. “…I guess I underestimated the dobe. Happy, Sakura? I know you wanted me to say that. Consider it part of your payment.”

“Naruto wake up! Sasuke just praised you!” Sakura immediately whacked his head and the startled ninja fell out of his chair.

“Wha—?” He rubbed his head. “Hey! What did I do? I’m just sleepy!” Though he blushed for some reason.

“Sasuke said he underestimated you! See, have confidence — we’re going to be a powerhouse of a team!” Sakura laughed crazily while she thought, I’ll make us the best team ever and when Naruto gains popularity as a result with Sasuke, we’ll sell out more drawings! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

“Sakura, you’re acting scary…” Naruto stood up and backed away to Sasuke’s side of the table.

“Forehead. Come get your payment. And I have business to talk about so stop acting stupid.” Sasuke rubbed his forehead and led them to another room full of weapons. Kunais, swords, etc. “These are old, but still useful. I already took away the ones that are valuable to my family, so these are just the spare weaponry and supplies. Take all that you need and in exchange, I want weekly lessons from you.”

Sakura’s ears piped up after she finished molesting the new weapons with her eyes. “Yes, yes. I can teach you the basics of my special system in a couple of months then. But if you want advanced seal work that you can’t make — I’ll sell them to you. Don’t worry, as your teammate, I’ll make the price reasonable. Deal?”

“Deal. We have a rank B mission coming up next month, so I’ll write down my order.”

“Hmm, do you have books on seals and jutsus in your clan storage? Anything on advanced works will do. It will upgrade the type of seals I can sell to you — and I’ll even show you how I make them in exchange for the knowledge.”

“…I won’t show you the rare ones, but I can let you study some. The books don’t leave my house. Try it and I will burn you alive.” Sasuke glared down at her.

“I promise! No stealing! But if you spare a shirt —“

“NO.” Sasuke frowned. “I don’t care why you need it, don’t steal my clothes or you can kiss this partnership goodbye.”

“Tch.” Sakura peeked at Naruto and gave a cutting motion behind her back.

Naruto gave a thumbs up and took out scrolls to store weapons inside. 

Sakura then slapped Sasuke on the back like an old friend and said, “Now, we’re pals! When I’m done with you and Naruto, we’ll have a super power on our hands heheh. Hell, tell me about that chidori of yours and I can see if there is anything I can improve — if you wish. Team Seven will be a monster in the ninja world!!”

“…We’ll see. Show me what your advanced seals can do first, then we’ll talk.” He smirked.

Sakura grinned back. “Deal.”

And so a new type of Team Seven will wreck havoc in the ninja world — but first, there was an exam to prepare for…

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Konnichi wa!!

SO! Finally got this updated. Wonder how Sasuke will react with Orochimaru now? HEHEH.

In case it’s not obvi, this is my type of crack fic that I love so hopefully you guys have fun reading it!

Please review and let me know what you think and have some chocolate shakes. And I’ll be getting to Kakashi’s icha icha book one day — I really want to read what it is!

See ya next time! Gonna be updating as fast as I can until October when school starts up for me, so keep an eye out!

Cheers,

WitchySkies

P.S. Anyone see those youtube videos on sarada meeting her parents? So well done! Had a good laugh/nostalgia hit. XD maybe I should write a highschool fanfic with sakura one day. Or a family one. SO MANY IDEAS. 


	5. Chapter Five: “Changing Tides”

Chapter Five: “Changing Tides”

“If Sasuke’s house is the evil lair to plan how to take over the village, then why did my house be downgraded to the school clubroom where all the bad boys gather up and plan pranks? Naruto stop snoring!”  
—On Be Careful Where You Hold Your Evil Meetings of World Domination **“Just because I am a genius beauty from the future doesn’t mean you get to act off-script! Hurry up and look down on me!”**

**System: There are so many things wrong with that statement…**

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………………………..

In the Uchiha Compound turned evil lair…

“Okay guys. We only have one chance for the chuunin exams. From this point on, it’s game time!” Sakura pounded the table with her fist. “Any questions?”

“No!” Naruto fist-pumped in the air.  
“Hn.” Sasuke just did the usual Uchiha trademark.

“Good! Now, Kakashi-Sensei, what say you?” She dragged Kakashi-Sensei’s chair so it tipped closer to her as she whispered in his ear like a villainess, “We grabbed the bells so that proves we’re ready for the exams, sen~seiii~ Phwoo~” She blew in his ear.

“Mmph!” Kakashi turned red as he squirmed in his chair, the rope stretching as he tried to stand up from where he was tied to the chair and gagged.

“Sit down!” Focusing chakra in her fists, she shoved the chair - and the man - back down and held him still. “Now, you’re not going to run from me anymore Kakashi-Sensei. You’ll be a good teacher and stay here to help us train. If you succeed in giving us what we need, we won’t tell the village that you got kidnapped by your students who were led by a teenage girl with pink hair. Pink. Hair. You don’t want that rumor to spread, do you?”

Kakashi shook his head wildly.

“Good.” Sakura removed his gag and let the teacher breathe as he complained about the ropes.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Sasuke eyed each other as they whispered, “Hey Teme. Was Sakura-chan always able to kidnap our teacher?”

“No. But I think it’s direct and effective. Our teacher has been slacking off lately and avoiding her presence. We need him unfortunately.” He crossed his arms. “I approve.”

Naruto sweated. “Man, it feels like you and Sakura are becoming bad guys…Please don’t turn against the village.”

“Ask her. She’s the one who kidnapped the teacher.”

They both stared at the pink danger as she squeezed Kakashi’s cheek while pulling out some scrolls. An evil grin on her face as Kakashi paled under her touch. “Now, tell me what we need to know about the chuunin exams. If needed, I’m prepared to take over this village from the inside-out and claim our fucking promotion. Don’t think I don’t know about that pay raise you get!” She slammed the scrolls on the table and with a grin that echoed the top interrogator’s Ibiki Morino’s aura, she ordered, “Now talk!”

“…Sakura-chan is frightening…” Naruto whispered.

“Hn. For once, I agree.” 

“Okay!” Sakura smiled. “Let class begin!” And with that, the preparation for the Chuunin exams began…

Two hours later…

“Now check out these scrolls I made to map out chakra systems. See here, when I put a layered seal combining two elements…and then just activate when Sasuke uses chidori to effectively disperse the chakra for maximum power output…basically these scrolls are like power boosters for jutsus. What do you think, Kakashi-Sensei?” Sakura finished her lecture. By then, they already untied Kakashi from his ropes and he seriously studied her work.

“Sakura, did you really create this?” The older shinobi was shocked. If it was truly her, she had a genius that exceeded his own. But then how is she still a genin when he already passed ranks at a much younger age? She was smart before her accident, but she wasn’t a creative genius. This was more than simply memorizing data. This was on par to creating her own special technique. If these scrolls became a commodity, it would change the power balance of the entire shinobi world. Power boosters, hmm…

“Yes, Sensei. Got a problem?” She raised her foot and stomped on the table, her arm leaned against her knee like a juvenile delinquent. “Haaa?!”

“Of course not, Sakura. This is simply brilliant. Even Sasuke and Naruto, who don’t have your perfect chakra control, could excel beyond their current limits as if they used these scrolls in addition to their own techniques.” Kakashi was ecstatic, but immediately sobered. “If this becomes commonplace…”

“Don’t worry! I have no intention of mass-producing this. After all, only I know how to make them, so I decide the value and who I sell to! And it’s difficult to replicate by anyone else anyway. A top rate merchant like me only deals with the best.” I winked. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

“My…what? I wear briefs, thank you very much.” Kakashi coughed.

“With the holes in — I’m sorry, got distracted. Good to know, Sensei!” Sakura smiled cheerfully.

Suddenly all three men stared at her in bewilderment. Sakura’s taste in men was certainly very strong…

Knock. Knock. 

Sasuke raised a brow. “Sakura, who did you invite? Don’t pretend it was Naruto.”

“Oh, just some study buddies~ After all, we’re all comrades. Tee hee.” Sakura skipped to the door. _Hehehe! My first batch of potential customers have arrived! And I can learn more about different chakra natures and techniques as payment. Whose a genius?!_

The System sighed. [You will be fighting against each other in the exams, Sakura!]

“Please. We’ll also learn about our opponents even if they do get a power boost by me. Now let me work. Aw, you worried, System?”

[N-No! Whatever! Just don’t forget to get Sasuke bitten by Orochimaru during the exams.]

“Yeah, yeah.” Sakura pulled open the door. “Hey guys! Welcome! Please come in.”

Hinata, Neji, Tenten and Lee all looked at her in confusion. 

Neji grunted, “Isn’t this Sasuke’s house? How did you pull off having your study group meet here?”

“Don’t sweat it. Now, do you want me to help you or not? As the one who beat Sasuke up, I’ll show you our true might. In exchange, you know the deal, yes?” Sakura said like she was dealing drugs or in this case, research.

Hinata nodded quickly before Neji ruined her chance to see Naruto again. “Y-Y-Yes! W-We asked to borrow books on ad-advanced jutsus. I-Is it true that you d-d-defeated S-Sasuke-kun with one seal?” She held out a large pile of books and scrolls and Sakura’s eyes shone with greed.

“Yessiree! Come on in! Let me carry that for you, Hinata-chan. You’re the best! Naruto and Sasuke are waiting inside. Our teacher is chaperoning so don’t mind him.” And with that she forcibly led everyone to the dining room. 

After gathering everyone, Sakura made sure to sit Hinata next to Naruto and explained the study session as well as her new seals. With Sasuke as advocator and Kakashi as witness, she formed new business with the other teams. Neji spoke with Sasuke over different chakra management styles and the use of booster seals while Hinata showed Naruto how to control his chakra using training she learned from the Hyuuga clan. No one shared secret techniques of course, but as a result of the exchange, everyone ended up with new and improved ways to increase their power. 

Sakura grinned while she made sure Neji was distracted with Sasuke and quickly whispered in Hinata’s ear, “Hey, for helping me study this whole time, I’ll give you a little treat~” And without waiting for her response, Sakura ‘tripped’ and shoved the shy girl straight onto Naruto’s lap.

“Eek! S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry, N-Naruto-kun!!!” Her face flushed red as smoke blew out of her ears and she fainted.

Meanwhile Naruto is in shock as he cradled the unconscious Hyuuga heiress. “H-Hinata-chan?! Don’t die!”

Sakura pressed a finger to her lips. _Strange. She fainted faster than I thought. I hoped to get her a little kiss out of this accident…she must have dodged his lips in time despite my impeccable timing! Aw, what a respectful girl! I feel a bit sorry she missed out on a prime opportunity though…_

Neji roared from across the room, “Byakugan! Naruto…Get your mitts off Lady Hinata!!!”

Lee and Ten rushed to stop the Hyuuga’s rampage and Sasuke rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Kakashi-Sensei gave Sakura a knowing look before giving her a thumbs up.

Sakura smiled big and returned the gesture before gently carrying Hinata over to Neji. “Okay, fun’s over. Here, I’m sure you’ll make sure she’s home safe.” Once she handed Hinata over, she clapped her hands like a teacher ending class and said, “Okay! I hope everybody learned something today, but it’s getting late. Shall we meet up this time next week? Of course, if you need me, my door’s always open.”

Lee praised her to heaven and clasped her hands together. “Oh, beautiful! I have opened my eyes to new horizons! I will see you soon!”

One by one, the others agreed to the next meeting and she secretly cheered. _Business is in session, baby!_

Sakura waved them goodbye as Neji and the team left. She yelled as they walked away, “Spread the news to Ino and her team, would you! Sakura’s Seals is open for business!”

Lee waved back wildly and screamed, “Yes, my beauty! I will make sure the whole world knows!”

“You’re the best, Lee!” Because Lee didn’t have use for her seals, she ended up telling him a few tricks she learned from her own timeline on taijutsu. She didn’t think much of it, but apparently the eager shinobi was highly motivated to train after that. I hope I didn’t just reveal some hidden futuristic technique…Oh well. I’m dead so it didn’t matter anyway.

[Please be more responsible.]

“Hey! It’s above your paygrade anyway, System.”

[…I’m afraid of the review I’m going to get at the end of this world…I’m still a new System. Sniff.]

Team Seven continued their study session a bit longer before people started yawning and they got ready for bed. Since it was late, they took out the spare futons from the closet bought spefically for ‘training days’ like these. Sakura ignored the System as she watched Naruto fall asleep on the couch and went to steal a fluffy blanket without asking Sasuke’s permission. Like a mother, she tucked him in before noticing Kakashi staring at her. She smirked, “I know I’m beautiful, but…” She kept forgetting her age, but at this point, it was too late for her to act like a simple child.

Kakashi shook his head slowly and sighed. “Who knew you hid so much talent, Sakura? Did you really just come up with these ideas?” Although his posture said he was a slacker, his eyes were sharp. 

Sakura shrugged. “Told you I was a beautiful genius. Don’t forget this four years from now, okay, Sensei~ I might just break your heart.” She winked. Distraction is the best offense after all. Although she was a bit serious. Kakashi was only in his late twenties and he had the allure a mature man could only have. If she saw him back in her time, gods, he would be sinful.

“Hn.” Kakashi laughed, but it was a slow laugh with a deep undertone that sent shivers down her spine. “Well, student, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned to leave, but gave her one last curious look before he went. Sakura was the last person I thought to hold so many secrets…it’s a pleasant surprise.

Later that night, Sakura looked at the full moon from the steps in the back of the Uchiha compound and mused, “I wonder why Sasuke stays here when it holds sad memories?”

“So I remember why I must take revenge.” Sasuke walked up to the steps and sat next to her. “Every night, I remember what happen so I never settle. Until you barged in my life, no one has stayed here besides me.”

“If I recall, you called me.”

“Sakura. I’m not in the mood for your usual antics.” Sasuke glared at her expecting her to cower, but the young woman only looked back solemnly and nodded.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I understand.” Sakura could see the young man had a lot on his mind and settled down to hear him out.

“Do you? Do you know what it’s like to hear their screams every night? To see your older brother cutting your parents’ heads off? To be covered in their blood?” His eyes turned red with the sharingan.

Sakura simply listened as he raged and stared into those angry eyes. “No, I won’t know exactly everything you felt. I did not have your experiences. But I am here to listen when the screams become too loud.” Her clear green eyes took his red ones without fear. “Do you want me to see?” The sharingan could pull her in easily.

“…” Sasuke almost dropped the sharingan, but based off what he saw from her…what she did and the newfound spirit in her eyes…he wanted to…to…

 **Crush it.** For some reason, seeing her clear eyes only reminded him of his bloody ones and he wanted to test her like an animal. And so he activated his bloodline and dragged her to his hell.

And so Sasuke tested the strange new version of his teammate as he said while she fell into his sharingan, “Sakura, you should not have tested me.” Sakura will return back to the little girl he knew once she’d seen what he’d been through…But secretly he hoped…he might be wrong. Either way, it was too late to take back down. What’s done is done.

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Sakura found herself in a world of red and shadows. “Where am I?”

[You are in the Uchiha bloodline Sharingan. A world of their own making, stronger than any genjutsu and impossible to escape.]

_Can he hear you then?_

[Of course not or I would never answer you! Unless you went absolutely crazy and jeapordized our mission, there would be no need for others to know of my existence.]

_…Good to know where you stood, frenemy._

Suddenly, screams echoed in this nightmare world and Sakura followed the sounds. “There’s no point in running away in a genjutsu.”

[You can even feel pain.]

…Sakura stopped, but then kept going. She didn’t have anywhere to escape to anyway. The screams grew louder and louder as she walked through the corridors of the Uchiha compound and soon found herself in front of the sliding door of the ‘forbidden area’ as Sasuke told them during their stay. _This must be the parents’ room. And the place where young Sasuke was traumatized._

Taking a deep breath, she slid open the door and looked straight into a pair of red eyes — without moving, she held his stare until finally the visage disappeared. Judging from the timing, it would be the infamous Itachi Uchiha, the elder brother who killed their entire clan. 

Sakura stepped into the room and her toes became soaked in red blood. The chill sent a shiver down her spine and hairs raised on her arms. She got closer to the pair who layed out on the floor and she saw their heads were cut off their shoulders. With a frown, she studied the heads and found that Sasuke took more after his mother. 

A young boy’s voice called out from behind her calmly, “Aren’t you shocked by their bodies?”

Sakura turned to face the younger version of Sasuke. Like a tiny ghost, the boy studied her face in the room of his parents’ murder. She bent her knees to face him eye-to-eye and said, “I was shocked, but now I’m mostly sad that you had to see this.”

_From what I recall (barely) from my dreams during the “Tutorial Stage” of the System’s world missions, there was an Uchiha in the Akatsuki and most likely that was his brother. He was a gentle boy who was trained to kill. But he was a loyal boy, that I remember. Somehow between young Itachi and this present, something must have happened to make that gentle boy kill the very people he wanted to protect..This didn’t make any sense. But enough about theories, right now poor Sasuke had to deal with the aftermath. It seems dealing with the Akatsuki was going to be difficult._

“Have you no fear of death? I could easily inflict upon you the pain they felt, I could inflict that pain a thousand times in this realm. Aren’t you afraid?” The little boy looked up at her with cold eyes.

“Yes.” She nodded and waited for him to speak. 

“I could drown you in this blood and make you experience death tenfold.”

“I’m sure you could.”

“I…” The boy teared up angrily and yelled, “What’s wrong with you?! Why won’t you be scared? Why is it only me…Why am I the only one crying…” 

Sakura pulled the boy into her arms and let her knees sink into the cold blood that oozed against her bare skin. Without a word, she held the boy tight and let him cry. Then the room vanished and she found herself in the living room hugging the air. 

And sitting on the couch was the present Sasuke. “Do you think you can ease my fears with a mere hug, Sakura?” Like a dark shadow of himself, his dark gaze scanned her coldly. “I’m disappointed in you.”

“Sasuke, if you want to fight me, do it. But don’t keep me waiting with these games. We’re still in your sharingan.”

“Oh? What makes you say that?”

“Simple.” Sakura stood up. “I can’t hear Naruto’s obnoxious snoring. Small details, Sasuke-kun, small details~” She smiled down at him.

“Hn.” He stood from his seat and they glared at each other. 

“Well, are we going to fight or will you go so far to test my spirit. But bewarned,” Sakura snarled as a menacing glow entered her eyes and she pulled down Sasuke’s collar so they were nose to nose. “If you do test me further, than I won’t hold back. In this world or back in reality. Will you cross that line, Sasuke? Just to prove what you’re willing to do to your own team for your revenge?”

Sakura sneered as she leaned forward like a bulldog, the sharp intensity in her green eyes glowing, “Or will you face me like a man? We are a team, Sasuke. And if you allowed yourself to see us that way, I will help you like you are my brother, my father and my mother. You, me and Naruto. Your hatred is my hatred and my strength is your strength.”

Then she let him go and stepped back, once again smiling casually like an innocent flower. “Decide now, Sasuke. Or let this line be crossed.”

Burning red clashed with ferocious green. 

Sasuke murmurred, “You just won’t leave me alone.”

“Sorry, no can do. But if you insist on the destructive path, then I will have no choice but to act accordingly. Whether you want me to or not.”

“You’re different.”

“More like…enhanced. But you are different from your youth. And your future self will be different from now. But you can decide where we stand from this point on. So what say you?” She held out her hand. “Take my hand, Sasuke.”

“…Why aren’t you afraid? Even now, I want to see if I can break you to make you feel my rage. Why weren’t you afraid of my brother’s eyes. You saw them at the door.”

“I am afraid but it’s not enough to hold me still. But between you and your brother, I have a feeling, that’s all.”

“Such a blase answer. You expect that to be enough!?” He roared at her and the environment changed back to red.

“No. But these are words, Sasuke, and I am better with my actions. If you let me, I’ll prove it to you.” Sakura held out her hand and waited patiently.

“You didn’t answer me. Aren’t you afraid of death?”

“I am afraid of dying a dog’s death.” Sakura held a heavy smile and within that was a trace of anger. “What I fear is a meaningless death, of being led like a puppet. And whether it is god or a devil holding my strings, I do not care for being led around blindly.” As she spoke, the eyes of the frail sakura flower of Konoha revealed something darker, harder and….underbellied hatred. Pure concentrated hatred. **“Nobody plays with my life scott-free.”**

Sasuke’s eyes widened a fraction. This was the first time he’s seen Sakura truly angry. His usually nonsensical teammate surprised him over and over even when she was under his complete control. She didn’t blink when she saw the bloody room, she didn’t back down when he confronted her and she never looked away — those clear eyes captured his unflinchingly and relentless. She had the look of someone who took command of her life, someone whose spirit rivalled that of the brother he once loved. But her hatred matched his. “Those aren’t the eyes of a sheltered girl. You seem like a different person ever since your accident.”

“Would you believe me if I said I already died once?” But before he could response, Sakura winked and stuck her tongue out playfully. “Kidding~! Well, Sasuke, you have my answer. Will you take my hand or not?” And once more, she returned to the silly Sakura he knew.

Sasuke closed his eyes with a frown. He almost fell under her spell. The contradiction of her nature captivated his attention a moment ago and he berated himself for taking her seriously. It was just Sakura here — but still, he took her hand. “You better not regret this.”

“Same to you.”

And the sharingan disspelled. Once more, they returned to reality — and Naruto’s loud snores echoed in the silent night.

“…Dobe.” 

“…Pfft!”

Sakura giggled and stood up, leaning forward to give Sasuke a hand. The full moon shone bright behind her as it’s light danced on her long pink hair and vibrant green eyes. With a soft smile, she said, “Let’s go inside together?”

“…Hn.” He took her hand.

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………………

Sakura laid out the spare futon on the living room floor while Naruto slept on the couch. Sasuke already went up to his room. Now she was finally alone…

She sighed. _Man! Talk about giving me a hard time! If he was going to take my hand, he shouldn’t make me work so hard! Hmph!_

The System cut in: [Host. You are too attached to this world. Remember the mission—]

_Oh, I know. That’s why I don’t care. You heard me, didn’t you? My little speech._

[But if you don’t complete missions..!] The System hoped she was exaggerating, but it was a slim hope. For all her silliness, the host it picked was not simple or it would never have picked her. Even if Sakura’s existence really was a disruption to all her worlds, the Universal World System was full of bugs anyway and as a new system, it could have picked an easier ‘bug’ to deal with and another system would take it’s place. But it chose her. It was just a whim, but now…[Will you really go against your missions?]

_I’m not that bored of living. And fighting your big boss sounds like an eternal bother. I’ll complete the main part of your missions, but I’ll do it my own way. Like the whole waiting for Sasuke to run away business — why?_

[Sasuke leaving the village triggers events to hone Naruto’s character and his and this will allow the Akatsuki to fall —]

_Then I will trigger different events. One way or another, it will be done. Now that I claim these two brats as family, I won’t let them play pawns so easily. So watch me, System. I’ll show you how a woman can be the most stubborn thing in existence!_

The System had a duty and protocol, but because it wasn’t a totally unfeeling entity, there was a spark of intrigue. […I hope you know what you’re doing.]

“Only one way to find out~”

  
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** AUTHOR NOTE: **

YOSH! So it took a more serious turn at the end, but don’t worry! She’s not Sasuke (haha).

Thanks for the reviews! It made me work harder XD 

I hope everyone is doing well with work or school or etc this coming fall. I’ll be in a whole different sched then so writing like my life depends on it now. I am glad you’re having as much fun with this Sakura as I am and I hope she gives you a laugh during your day.

Now, I’ll be back to writing!

Loves and Kisses,

WitchySkies!


	6. Chapter Six: “First Missions Can Make Or Break You”

**Chapter Six: “First Missions Can Make Or Break You”**

“The real trial isn’t the running or the snoring or the sleeping with bugs. No! It’s when you can’t even kiss a cute guy without feeling either too young or too old. #WomenProblems! #FuckTransmigration! #Forced2BeANun! What is this torture!”  
—On Being Surrounded by Hot Ninja and Cockblocked by an Existential Crisis **“My body is fourteen but my mind and soul are twenty-eight — Where is my hit zone and why can’t I time skip?! Cursed morals!”**

**System: You don’t need a boyfriend! Go do your homework!**

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Once more at the Konoha Training Grounds…

“Say, Naruto? Can you tell me more about my past?” Sakura sat down next to the blonde ninja as they waited for Kakashi-Sensei on the training field yet again. No matter what, he was 30 minutes late. “I know we had a mission for the Land of Waves and a bunch of C/D rank missions, but I want to learn more. This will be our first real mission together outside of the village! Was I good at support? Or the tank? Ooh, I must have been the seductress who lured the shinobi to their graves —“

“S-Sakura-chan…You’re only fourteen! We wouldn’t send you to seduce old men! And besides, you were very smart and pretty and memorized everything! You still are all those things!” Naruto smiled big.

“Okay and? What was my battle advantage? I had super cool chakra control, right? Maybe it was genjutsu!” Sakura got excited over what her past roles in missions were. Those shinobi soap operas she watched in her own timeline made every kunoichi looked badass. From poisoning a lord’s tea after tying him up in bed to launching kunai from fifty feet away — she had a very starry vision of what ninja could do.

“Uh, well, you….you were good at climbing trees and you never left us behind…I know! You were always good at bodyguarding the client!”

“…No poisons? No sexy outfits? How about scouting?”

“Sorry. If it makes you feel better, we did recently graduate from the Academy so us genin don’t get a lot of high-ranking missions except that one time with Zabuza.”

Sakura frowned. Kakashi told her once that there was a pair of shinobi who never realized what they had until it was too late. “Yeah, I heard of him…It is sad he never realized his love until it was too late.”

“Eh? Love? Don’t you mean respect? Haku used to be a tool, but then Zabuza finally realized he was a person.” Naruto scratched his head.

Sakura smiled gently and pinched his cheek a bit. “Yes, yes. Who knew his true feelings? Now then!” Sakura jumped to her feet and switched subjects. “Since we haven’t had a chance to showcase our super awesome talents in the past, today marks a new age! You hear me, Naruto?! Sasuke?! We’ll show the world whose boss!”

Naruto added, “Yeah! We’ll be the best shinobi in the village and when I’m hokage, I’ll make sure your business will be famous!” By now Naruto figured out Sakura’s love for money and supported her dream 100%…not realizing that it was technically corruption…Of course, Sakura wasn’t going to point that out yet.

“Aww, you know me well, Naruto. Soon, you’ll join me in my evil ways and we’ll get this city to flourish into a megacity!” She clasped her hands together and swooned. “YOSH! First step — Conquer the mission and crush the exams!” Sakura roared while Naruto cheered behind her. “TO PROMOTIONS!!!” Like a salaryman aiming for six figures, Sakura got out a blank checkbook. “This is proof of my dedication!”

“Hey idiots, your noises are disrupting my focus. And I do not even want to know why you have an empty checkbook Sakura. We’re going on a mission not promoting your business.” The pinkette never ceased to amaze him with how far she went with her delusions. “But make sure my order is on the table this time tomorrow.”

Naruto yelled and pointed his finger at him, “Hey Teme, you’re excited for the exams, too! Don’t lie!”

Sakura turned to Sasuke, “Yeah! Don’t think I didn’t remember your little remark on getting B rank missions next month. B ranks are only for, oh what was that? Chuunins~ And yeah, I got your seals ready. Your chidori will be double the power no problem! I just need to make sure quality is top rate and then you’ll get them. But see! You’re as motivated as we are to get promoted this month, heheh.” Sakura leaned next to the Uchiha with a teasing glance.

“Hn. Of course I am motivated. It will prove my strength and allow me to test myself against more difficult missions.” Sasuke turned his head away from her cooly. 

“So yes, you are excited then. Got it.” She stuck her tongue out as she hovered over him.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but didn’t shove her away. “Whatever.”

Just then, Kakashi came waltzing in as usual with Icha Icha in one hand. Either that series had years worth of reading material to catch up on or their dear teacher was already spinning conspiracy theories on the main characters and posting them on his fanfic accounts. Sakura had never seen him read anything else. Ever. 

“I better buy that book on the way home…” She mumbled to herself, but Naruto caught it and peered at the orange book. 

“Good idea, Sakura-chan! It must be really good for Kakashi-Sensei to read it over and over.” Naruto rubbed his chin as he thought about what type of book it could be. Sure it was rated R, but hey, he already had Sexy no Jutsu! Nothing was sacred!

At this point Sasuke was also curious about the book and Kakashi noticed all three of his students trying to read the book summary on the back cover. He coughed and immediately put it away. “Okay, students! So I’m sure you heard about the mission, but let me give you the basic info — we have a mission in two days. It’s just a simple escort mission that will last for two days. After that will be the chuunin exams, so be prepared!” 

Kakashi-Sensei then focused on Sakura and said, “Now, I know you lost your memory recently, but you’ve proven more than capable as a kunoichi the past few weeks. In fact, you’ve are lightyears ahead. However, if you feel the need to opt out of this mission until you feel comfortable regaining your shinobi life —“

“Don’t worry, Kakashi-Sensei. I can handle it. You can’t kick me off that easily.” She grinned with determination and Kakashi smiled under his mask.

“Very well. I just wanted to give you the choice. In that case, I expect great things from you, Sakura.” He gave her a knowing glance. “Now that we’re caught up — let’s train!”

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**Two Days Later…The Mission Start Date.**

Exactly at 7am, Team Seven met up at the gate where Kakashi-Sensei was already waiting. 

An old man walked over with a huge pack. Despite his frail look, he walked perfectly fine and said, “Hello, kiddos! So you’re my latest escort har har! Don’t mind me bag, it’s lighter than it looks.”

Kakashi bowed then waved his hand toward the old man. “This is our client, Hirotaka-san. He’s a regular and quite strong for his age despite his looks. We’ll be escorting him to his hometown where he sells jewels. Sakura, you’re in charge of staying near him at all costs. Sasuke, Naruto — keep an eye out. Ok, let’s go!”

For most of the day, they walked and kept silent. Step. Step. Step. Even Hirotaka was quiet. Sakura couldn’t help but feel that the man had more enemies than the usual rich jeweler. 

After the first seven hours of walking, Sakura let herself briefly think about her past and the past of the girl she took over. It seemed the original Sakrua Haruno was a pretty flower who hadn’t yet stepped onto her own path yet. The girl hadn’t blossomed if the only good things Naruto could find to say were basic adjectives. She did seem to have a good base to become someone great with accomplishments under her belt, but the poor girl never had the chance. 

_Hey, System. What happen to the original souls of the bodies I transmigrate to?_

[Above my pay grade. But if you are worried, they are combined with your soul itself. Your personality is just too dominating so you never noticed. After all, you are also ‘Sakura Haruno’ in every world]

_I see. So they are me and just another version of me? If the popular religious leaders knew you existed…Whatever. Thanks for the info._

Sakura then thought of her original life. Unlike this bloody era of their past, the future was a lot more technical. Most wars were fought by competition in battle tournaments or with robots — and if it ever got to human bloodshed, then it’d be from a revolution or a situation of irreconcilable differences. The days of getting into a life-death fight on the road to your hometown were much more rare due to the advanced security systems for civilians of the great nations. Of course, there were exceptions…

Like her parents. They were great scientists who wanted to create the ultimate biological weapon. And as their daughter, her dna would be perfect to experiment secretly. Their experiments would never end…

And so she killed them. She used their own experiments against them in their lab while she watched. She thought revenge would make her satisfied…but the feelings never changed. She was still lost and she still hated. So she laughed louder, sought more love escapades, went wild in her college years…but her heart never seemed to break from the trials of her past.

 _It was probably karma that I ended up in this bloody era and ordered around by some grand system._ She was a sinner in many ways. Even if it was in self-defense, she still killed her parents. For a brief moment, she saw the bloody eyes of Itachi Uchiha…and how he changed from the gentle boy in her dreams. Despite her silly antics, she remembered those lost children starving and alone. It just hurt to see them because it reminded her of herself. 

After that was just an empty life trying to be normal and then she died from overwork. It pissed her off. And now that she had a new life — System or not, she would claim it. And as if to test her resolve, she sensed a small trace of foreign chakra. “Kakashi-Sensei.”

“I know. Get into formation.” He took the lead with Naruto and Sasuke while Sakura made sure to secure the client.

A thrill danced in her veins as Sakura grimly held a kunai. Sure, she’d been training for the field ever since her ass got handed to her by Sasuke, but this was a real life-death battle…it was different from training and it was different from killing two people in a lab. She felt the bloodlust in the air, the cold wind and she stiffed up just a tiny bit. The client’s life was now in her hands so she couldn’t miss a thing. It was sink or swim now. 

Naruto glanced at her and remembered his first mission and how he froze at his first brush with death. For Sakura, this would be her first mission he thought. So he said, “Sakura-chan. I got your back no matter what happens.”

Sakura let a smile break through her stiff face and relaxed her limbs to make it easier to move. “Thank you, Naruto.” Then she got into battle stance. _This was just like any other time I fought in the fields except this time they want to kill me. And honestly, that was nothing new. Technically wouldn’t I be a zombie since I died once? Haha._ She laughed at herself before focusing on the enemy.

Breaking out of her brief paralysis, she analyzed the situation. Seven shinobi stood in the front while four hid in the bushes judging from their mana signatures. _Unfortunately for them, I’m fucking perfect chakra control master — no hiding! Erm, if I paid attention — Focus, Sakrua!_ “Don’t worry about me, Naruto! I’ll protect the client with my life!”

Suddenly, seven shinobi appeared in front of the team and dashed towards them, but Sakura could sense four more hidden in the bushes to the left and right just a bit near Naruto and Sasuke and heading straight for her. Tch. She immediately summoned a shadow clone and they both held up a sword. 

When the enemy ran near enough, Kakashi did a water jutsu then launched kunai beneath it’s cover. When only one fell, Sasuke launched his fire jutsu and blew towards the group while Naruto made shadow clones and ambushed two of the men.

Sakura had no time to see the results as the four hidden in the bushes made their way to her. “Hirotaka-san, stay back!”

Two on the left. Two on the right. Focusing her chakra on the seals she painted on the swords’ blades, she said, “Release!” the seals glowed and the swords erupted — one in flames and the other in spirals of cutting winds. The double Sakuras then stood side by side and began the first step of their new combo.

 _Hehehe! This is what happens when you apply the Internet of Things technology to chakra-infused weapons! Viva la Tech!_ It took her a long time to find the right sequence of chakra chain links for this to stick, but she finally did it! Though it had to be administered back on the weapon every so often, that was enough.

Waiting for the perfect moment when the four shinobi leaped from the bushes and jumped in the air — all aimed to slit her throat with their kunai — 

The original Sakura spun her sword of wind and let the mini-tornado that ensued push them higher into the air where they couldn’t change directions. Once they were high enough, the Clone Sakrua spun her sword extremely fast and a mini-inferno erupted from the sword as it aimed at the four men in the sky. Right after, Sakura blew up the mini-inferno into a full on raging fire tornado by spinning the sword of wind the same and like a mega-fan, it raised the tornado’s output exponentially.

Immediately, the four shinobi in the skies were burnt to a crisp and Sakura had to stop breathing through her nose at the smell. Shit was definitely like in the Shinobi Soap Operas. It was one thing to kill with kunai, it was another to use fire jutsu. As an avid user, how the hell did Sasuke stand the smell?! Urk, I feel sick…

Just as she was going to secure the client again, a woman came out of nowhere and grabbed the client from behind. Busty with insane curves, tall, and had cool fishnet ninja clothes with a short skirt to match — in other words, this was her true enemy in battle and in life. She must have used the crazy cheat teleportation trick Kakashi liked to do during training — she was sooo going to interrogate him for that later!

“Let him go!” _Oh god, I just had to say something so stupid. Who the hell actually listens to that?!_

The System retorted, [Blame your soap operas]

“Make me.” The busty ninja snorted.

_…Wow. The big boss lady actually played along…But before she just teleports out of here, I gotta make sure I don’t lose them. Quick check — can’t teleport, aren’t fast enough, and she seems irritable. Plus has no intention of harming the client or he’d be dead by now. Got it!_

Sakura flipped her off, “Oh yeah, fat bitch? Those boobs are giant, maybe that’s how you’re a kunoichi, am I right Hirotaka?”

The old man, who looked way too calm during all of this, laughed, “That may be so! Looking at them closer, they might be fake!”

“Bleh! Fake boobs! Whatcha going to do? Kill me?!” Sakura mimicked fake boobs with her hands and wiggled her ass. Meanwhile her team spared her one glance during their battle and Naruto screamed, “Don’t get the client killed by the busty chick, Sakura!”

“Damn, Naruto! How’d you know she got fake tits from way back there?!” She added fuel to the fire. Just like clockwork, the big boss turned red in anger and immediately teleported behind me. 

“Sakura!!!” The men yelled.

Sakura smiled and without turning behind, she immediately stabbed the wrist that held Hirotaka, making her drop him to the ground, and she teleported her away. She wasn’t worried as she felt the enemy grab her hair and pull. Kakashi looked about done with the other men and he was sure to bring Hirotaka to safety.

Heh. Now the real battle begins.

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………………

They arrived in a grassy field — Sakura couldn’t sense any of her team’s chakra. Again, she really had to learn this technique! _So cool! I could go snooping around businesses without using lockpicking!_

[I don’t want to know why you have criminal skillsets]

As soon as they landed in the field, the enemy moved to slit her throat with a kunai only to see another Sakura kicking up at her face. She dropped them and they leapt back from each other. “When did you bring your shadow clone, girl? Quite a fast thinker you are.”

“When you grabbed me by the hair — how rude! So I grabbed my clone. You weren’t that far away, so don’t sound smug.” She riled the enemy up. “Now hurry and attack me, I haven’t got all day.” Then she picked at her nails carelessly. Even blew on them as if to dry the non-existent polish.

The busty ninja snarled and immediately launched a flurry of attacks — first a storm of kunai launched at her and she barely dodged before lighning stuck at her back.

“Argh!” Sakura slammed to the ground as electricity ravaged her and she pulled out a scroll and did the hand sign, “Release!” A torrent of water charged out of the scroll like a broken dam and Sakura placed her arms in the water as it blasted. It immediately channeled the electricity from her body to the water and the electrified water smacked right into the enemy.

The lady only smiled as she let the electricity attack her and stood her ground against the water blast. “Is that all? I’m quite used to electricity, dear.” Then she launched a flurry of attacks on her clone and it poofed in smoke. “Now it’s just you and me.”

Sakura didn’t respond as she focused on her hand and a green glow soon emitted. She trailed her fingers along the worst of the cuts from the kunai attack and eased some of the muscles cramped by the electric attack. “Tch!”

The busty ninja raised a brow as she watched her as if she were an ant. “How amusing. The little genin can use healing jutsus. Too bad it’s not enough.” Then she started to talk about why Hirotaka was going to be theirs and at that point Sakura zoned out on the evil speech.

She was busy thinking to herself — _Let’s see. We have a hateful woman with lightning nature who is sadistic and has authority issues. Probably also masochistic too as she just took my damage for the hell of it. Ugh. I hate this type of woman._

[Aren’t you the masochistic one? You’re playing around with her. I know you have a few dozen scrolls on you that would have been better to use]

_Shh! I’m trying to be frugal not use up all my hard-earned scrolls! This mission already cost me at least four days worth of work. The reward better be increased due to the mission rank going up. This ain’t no C rank! I’m going to make sure we get more money or my name isn’t Sakura!_

“Your great S-Rank teacher, Kakashi, is currently busy with my boys. Surely you didn’t think we’d only have so few shinobi? It’s only a matter of time before we get Hirotaka secured. Unfortunately for you, dear, I’m the same rank as your famous teacher. I am Natsu the Raging Tiger.” The busty big boss, as Sakura now dubbed her, chuckled. “If you beg for mercy, I might just let you live, little girl.”

“Sorry, but no way old lady. You’re giving yourself a gang nickname to feel better?” Sakura teased as she got out a big scroll. “And Kakashi-Sensei is way stronger than you no matter what your report card says.” _Well, damn, my first mission is definitely a B rank after that spiel. Sasuke fucking jinxed me with his words, didn’t he?_

Natsu trembled with rage and her body glowed with a visible blue chakra. “I’ve had enough of your dirty mouth, girl. Die!”

Natsu’s chakra spiked and her feet embedded in the ground at the sudden pressure. Then in a blink of an eye, she blasted towards Sakura at full speed before she could react and used her palm like a knife.

**STAB.**

She pierced her hand in sakura’s stomach before the girl could take a single step. “It’s the end for you.” Natsu slowly slid her hand out from her stomach with a sadistic smirk then wiped the blood on her skirt. The visible chakra vanished. She expected the little ninja girl to be in shock, but the girl only laid still. She frowned. “Dead so fast? How disappointing.

She moved to leave when the girl started to twitch. Then her shoulders shook wildly until…

“AHAHAHAHA!!!” Sakura laughed out loud insanely and wiped tears from her eyes. Then she glared up at Natsu with an amused grin. This was…super interesting! She licked off some of the blood that splattered on her lips and stood up. Then she gave a dramatic bow to her enemy with a hand flourish as if there weren’t a gaping hole in her stomach. “I really must thank you, stranger. I haven’t had this much fun since my college days.” A feral grin spread across her face. “Now that I’m done testing your capabilities, let’s play~”

And she disappeared in smoke as a log took it’s place. Meanwhile, the real Sakura stood behind Natsu and she leaped back. 

“How did you get there? And when did you make a clone?! I didn’t see you make another shadow clone!”

“Hmm? I wonder.” Sakura narrowed her eyes like a cat. “Unlike you, I keep my secrets~” 

[Oh, I see! Your genjutsu training finally paid off. So you let yourself get electrocuted not because you’re masochistic but to launch a subtle genjutsu to create blind spots! My faith is restored in you, Host!]

_…Way to ruin the moment, System. You’re ruining the mystery. It’s good that she can’t hear the voices in my head — oh god, that still sounds wrong._

“Now for the big reveal! Since you’re S-Rank, I’ll make sure to get my money’s worth out of you!! I’ll bring out my latest experiment! Be honored!” Sakura took out a giant roll and spun around as it unfurled in the air before immediately saying, “Release!” _I am so claiming this as a business expense on my taxes!_

Two pre-made Sakura clones jumped from the large seal — each holding a single weapon imbued with cursed marks of stored chakra. Just like before except instead of a sword of wind and fire, these swords were plain wood and had the seal for earth on it. It took Sakura a week just to get the experiment to work — and it was only half-power in each clone and blade. But that was all she needed for this technique.

“Impossible! To create seals that could store such power and even clones would require a mastery of chakra and rival the knowledge of the lost arts of the Uzushiogakure! They’ve been wiped out by every nation so there is no way a genin like you could have found out!”

“Chalk it up to karma, bitch.” Then she launched her attack. 

Sakura threw up another scroll and immediately a wave of kunai and swords sprung out to attack Natsu in a rain of blades. While the ninja dodged, Sakura maneuvered her clones to either side of the ninja and immediately formed the handsigns for an earth jutsu.

The earth rose and caught Natsu in it’s hold. She cursed and broke one foot out from the earth trap easily only to be stabbed by two wooden blades. The two Sakura clones had chakra imbued in their body as they increased the power behind their hits and the blunt swords tore through the enemy’s body.

“Ahhh!” Natsu spat out blood in pain as they rammed the swords in her. Then the clones formed a hand seal and the swords bursts into earth spikes as they stabbed in and out of the woman’s body. She screamed once more and tried to make hand seals, but the real Sakura already sped up and —

Sliced off her hands with a third sword she stored in her scroll. 

The woman screamed as her hands became bloody stumps. 

Sakura frowned at her screams as she stomped out any pity and said, “An eye for an eye.” If she didn’t use a shadow clone in the beginning, that woman’s hand would have caused a hole in her stomach instead. Then she raised her sword and sliced her body in two, making sure to slash through her heart in the process. 

“Tch.” The spikes got in the way so she only managed to slice down to from shoulder to waist, but the body didn’t completely separate. With cold eyes, she watched the life fade from the enemy’s eyes and moved to check her pulse to be safe. 

And once more, her hands were covered in red.

Sakura released her shadow clones and they poofed away. Then she collected her weapons and stored them in a spare scroll. Finally, she took in a deep breath. “Welcome to Konoha’s bloody era, Sakura.”

[If you need an emotion stabilizer, I can —]

“I’m fine.” Sakura cut the System off. “This isn’t the first time. And besides, she tried to kill me so it’s fair game. It’s just…” Sakura collapsed on the ground as she cried in her hands. “All those scrolls…I have to make them again…Sob. I need to get stronger! This is too painful to see! I need to get strong enough so I don’t waste so much time and money making my babies.” Ten scrolls. She lost ten high quality scrolls on a supposed to be C rank mission. Between the shadow clones to the random blasts of weaponry, it was an inefficient use of resources. If they don’t reimburse her after this, she was going to take drastic measures!

Sakura felt weary, but the excitement of winning the battle made the exhaustion feel satisfying. Except there was one big problem…How the hell will she find everybody? They can’t be crazy far even if teleportation is a thing in this world. Human could only do so much and big-boobed Natsu didn’t seem crazy strong even if she were a so-called S-Rank.

[Your standards are just messed up from working with two prodigies and a fox demon kid]

“Say that last part again? Fox demon?”

[Unauthorized. Beep. You will find out later. No spoilers]

“Hey! It’s too late! You already spoiled it!”

[System is offline. Beeeeeep.]

“Motherfucker!” Sakura swore then sat down. She was sure Kakashi would find her — he was better at tracking than she ever could hope to be — and the only thing left to see in the field was Natsu’s dead body. A thought occurred to her.

“…Aren’t S-Rank Ninjas paid a lot?”

…

Meanwhile on Kakashi’s side…

Kakashi finally found traces of Sakura’s chakra. After securing the client and taking care of the rest of the enemy shinobi, he immediately went on the hunt. Once he saw the leader take Sakura away, both him and Sasuke activated their sharingan and raged on the enemy. Once they made sure there was no more enemy lurking nearby, he left Sasuke and Naruto to guard the client and went to find Sakura.

_**If only I noticed the leader sooner. I’m going to kill her.** _

Kakashi’s guilt rose and he was almost scared about what he would find when he found her. She was still alive, but what if the enemy was torturing her? She lost her memories only a short while ago and he still took her on this mission. Even if she did surprise him with her talents, she was still Sakura! A genin who lost her memories and who only just got used to the shinobi life. It was his failure as a mentor for putting her at risk like that…

Suddenly, he could see the pink of her hair and the enemy leaning against her as they sat. It looked like her arm was on Sakura’s shoulder. His student was covered in blood and his heart skipped a beat. He dashed forward faster, ready to attack the enemy —

Only to see her robbing the enemy leader’s body.

Sakura immediately held her hands up and dropped the money pouch she just grabbed. “It’s not what it looks like.” Then she shoved the body off of her and scooted away. “I wasn’t desecrating the dead!”

Kakashi sighed and when Sakura thought he was going to lecture on the morals of a shinobi, he held her shoulders and looked her up and down sternly. “Where are your injuries?”

Sakura was flabbergasted. She’d never seen Kakashi-Sensei so serious. “I healed the worst ones. The rest of the blood isn’t mine.”

“…” Kakashi checked her again regardless before he finally sagged his shoulders in relief. “What happened?”

“I pissed her off until she went beserk then I killed her. Ah, but she said she was S-Rank so I was just checking her body for…um, proof. I swear!” Sakura fidgeted. _Please tell me he didn’t catch me stealing her weapons already…maybe if I play this right, I can take her cash…_

Except Kakashi merely smiled with his eyes and rubbed her head gently, “You did well, Sakura.”

Pat. Pat. Sakura blushed under his rare show of affection. _Just give me a few more years!_

Then he glared at the body on the ground and immediately moved to store it in a seal for autopsy at the village. “She is Natsu the Raging Tiger. A missing nin from the Land of Waves and whoever hired her will pay the cost. But we’ll leave that for the higher ups. Come. The others are waiting.”

“Yes, Sensei!” 

After that first day, the rest of the journey went smoothly. It helped that Naruto and Sasuke never let her out of their sight the entire time. As soon as she returned with Kakashi, the orange energy ball slammed right into her and Sasuke interrogated her and demanded why she didn’t just use all her scrolls. They knew she had a few aces left up her sleeve, but let herself get taken. It got to the point that, although they praised her victory against the missing nin, the boys got fidgety whenever she disappeared for a bathroom break. It always made her smile.

“They really are cute.” Sakura grew a maternal feeling towards her newfound family and she giggled. In fact, Hirotaka and her got along and talked business while they walked so her future business was also looking good. A family, a good business network forming and now _… Shit. She was too attached._

[I told you. You need to find the Akatsuki]

_…I still have a few more years. So let me enjoy this semi-peace._

And so Team Seven made it through their first mission. 

  
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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Wassup y’all!

Just realized I said Sasuke was doing a rank B mission last chapter. Then realized that’s usually for Chuunin. SO. Going with the flow and we have this. Who knew chapter ideas could be so handy? hahaha

Also I confess I don’t remember some missions so from here on out (unless I manage to trigger childhood scenes from my hazy memory), I’ll be making up missions as I go. So try not to think about the timelines too much — it’s an alternate world of an alternate world? (Soooo fishing here) I did want to do Zabuza but then it’d be a couple of chapters and a whole lot of tears so just adjusted my timeline. Damn it, I really liked Haku!

I want to explore Sakura’s relationship with Team Seven and just so everyone knows, Naruto will always be the brother figure no matter the world. Maybe the son figure. In this story, I always imagine him with Hinata so sorry NaruSaku fans. Sasuke is a different story…but we’ll see.

I am on a major writing spree before October hits so bear with me. And reading your reviews really motivated me so thank you!

Also, I am so conflicted! I want to explore her life in konoha more, but I also want to see Akatsuki. But that’s a problem for a later chap. There are still the chuunin exams!

On that note, hope you enjoy this chapter and please review! 

Good luck with school and work and just life!

Love,

WitchySkies

P.S. Suuuper happy you love this badass Sakura! It’s gonna be an adventure!


	7. Chapter Seven: “When Failing Your Exams Could Actually Mean Death”

  
**Chapter Seven: “When Failing Your Exams Could Actually Mean Death”**

Sakura: “Hey, about this whole ninja exam ending in death thing — is that even legal? If you’re gonna risk your life for a promotion, wouldn’t it be better to be on an ACTUAL mission instead of dying in some suicide forest while sadistic men peep on you?”

Itachi: “They’re old-school.” #LivingProofPowerAbuseInShinobiWorldExists

“…There are so many jokes I could say, but I want to keep my head on, thank you.”

—Thoughts of a Stressed-Out Kunoichi Where F’s Don’t Exist **“Do we get lunch before the forest of death exam? No? Then why am I paying you tax money?!”**

**System: Sakura, this isn’t the future! Now act like a broke Spartan - I mean, Shinobi! (Reporting to HQ: I’ve been tainted by my Host’s thoughts)**

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………………………..

For the first time since she arrived, Sakura Haruno doubted the meaning of life. How were there two Sakuras? Since when were her dreams so detailed?! Oh god, it even got her small stretch mark…Whatever! That’s still sexy! 

Sakura had to do a double-take. Was that her younger self? Even though she was currently a teenager in this world and the original’s body looked exactly like hers, she could tell it was her — 23rd century Sakura. How did she know? Because the chick was constantly complaining just like her.

A teenager Sakura moaned, “Why must I babysit kids in a dream? Ha? System answer!”

Sure enough, that irritating voice rang through both of their minds, [It is a dream to you, but real to them. Do you want them to starve? And besides, if you do not complete the mission, you’ll have to live here forever without internet —]

“Okay, okay! Sheesh. I was going to do it anyway.” Her past self went to hunt food for the orphans in the house. It wasn’t their home, but since it was abandoned, they took advantage of it. 

Present Sakura grimaced. Ohhh now I remember. Why was she dreaming of her past dreams? Dream. Dream in a dream in a dream — of forget it! “Hey System! Why am I here? I clearly remember celebrating our first mission with the team and then getting ready for the chuunin exams next week. Why are you stressing me out?!”

The present System: [It is not my fault. You’re the one dreaming of your dreams. It could be a strong foreboding of what’s to come. Your sense of deja vu is one of your rare good qualities]

“I’m going to pretend that’s a compliment. So what? You think I’ll meet up with the Akatsuki kids soon?”

[Perhaps. And they are not kids anymore — you said so yourself when we landed in this world]

“Yeah, yeah.” Sakura watched as the other her came back with a bunch of bruises and a dead rabbit. The other kids in the house clapped their hands as she almost burned their dinner. “Dear gods, how the hell did any of us survive? And you lied about the internet. You still took it from me anyway! I’m living in this world in the end!”

[You had already died so that is also not my fault. Actually, you don’t know a lot of Konoha history, do you?]

“…What’s your point?” Sakura frowned. Her only concern when she lived back in her time was getting her latest invention working and being paid a shit ton for it. 

[No wonder you don’t realize a lot of things about your team]

“Hey! This Konoha is from a couple hundred years ago! Give me a break! It was already keeping up with the corrupt news and latest infringement of human rights story.”

[Just know that your actions in your youth led to different events to exist. You are changing your time for the better even if you never can return. While I myself do not know everything, I do know this world has already strayed. And due to your personal chaotic nature, I fear the changes are happening faster than imagined. Your skill in causing chaos is top notch, Host]

“Again. I feel like I should be insulted.” Sakura watched as the younger her apologized about burning the rabbit too much. “Heh. After that, the brats had to teach me how to cook. They didn’t know how to hunt, but they sure could season.”

There were three children. A cheerful kid with orange hair, a shy girl with blue hair and a quiet boy with red hair. She had a feeling the last boy took everything very seriously like a certain emo she knew. She remembered the first time she dreamt of them. Though it was only a few times that they met, each time her mission would be very specific. Stuff like, teach them to hunt and hide them in a forest away from the capital. It had been like this with other kids — though she had a feeling some kids were in different eras just based off their clothes. The timeline of her dreams always confused her. 

“I don’t get what you want me to do here, System. If the goal was world peace, all pain would be gone. But since that is obviously not reality, then it shouldn’t matter what’s in chaos, no? So why bother fixing up any world? Heck, why not just let me die in peace?”

[Above my pay grade as you know. But if it helps, I do not know why I exist either. If I may venture, the worlds seem like a web made of various threads of chaos…but there is always an attempt at order or I would not exist. Beyond that would require the dealings of greater systems]

Sakura watched as the children ate her burnt food with happy tears and she couldn’t help but think of Itachi’s face. The gentle boy who loved to show her his talents would grow up to be someone who haunted Sasuke’s dreams and killed his parents. How did something so drastic occur? If all the backstories of the Akatsuki she was supposed to take care of were like this…It made her a bit nervous. For the first time she wasn’t very confident in her abilities. What if she messed them up even more? It hit too close to home for her as she recalled the pain of her own past.

She clenched her fist as she watched the children hug her other self asking her to stay and she still had to disappear. Even so. Even if she wasn’t very confident in completing this mission…She wouldn’t give up on them so easily. Even if it weren’t her mission, by now she remembered the dreams where she visited them in their youth and she couldn’t abandon them again. 

“I’ll find those kids again and this time, I won’t let them be abandoned.”

[Very well. I trust you will complete this mission, Host]

Then the dream ended.

Sakura woke up in a sweat as she tossed her blankets off her. She checked the clock — 6:30am. In thirty minutes, she had to be at the academy to take the Chuunin Exams. She roared to her ceiling, “God damn it, System!”

She had no time to reflect over her dream as she rushed to pack her things and shower. In five mintues, she was out the door praying the wind from her run would dry her off. She cursed as she hurried out the door, “Naruto better be there on time!!”

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……………..

Team Seven stood outside the test site with solemn faces. Sakura spoke, “Naruto. Sasuke. This is the moment we’ve been training for. Ready?!”

“YES!! You’ve drilled my head in with enough textbooks that I could pass out right now!” Naruto quipped.

“Hn. I’m always ready, Forehead.” Sasuke smirked.

“I see team seven is preparing for their defeats. Don’t worry, I’ll be merciful.” Neji walked up from behind as Tenten and Lee waved hi. He glared at each of them equally then smirked at Sakura, “You’ll regret telling me about your hidden talents.”

“I’m sure you’ve paid me back with interest, Neji- _kun_. I’ve gained a lot from your books.” Sakura grinned back and the two faced each other off with sharp smiles. Sasuke glared at the both of them — especially Neji. He didn’t like how close he was.

Lee jumped inbetween the two and hugged the kunoichi, “Oh, my love! I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me! I will treat your words like gold, my muse!”

Immediately Naruto and Sasuke frowned, grabbed an arm of the green-clad fan and threw him off rudely. “Hands off!!”

Just then, Kakashi showed up in a poof of smoke. “Hello, students~! Now I’m sure we’re all very excited for today’s exams so you better hurry in.” 

Neji nodded then without a word went in as the others followed him. For a prick, he had respect for his infamous teachers. 

After everyone but his team left, Kakashi said, “I just wanted to let you know about your past mission before you go in. I hope this motivates you three. The mission was declared a rank B due to the leader’s status, so —“

“YESSSS!!! RAISE!!!” I screamed and jumped in the air with my fist held high. 

Kakashi coughed. “Yes, Sakura, you get your pay raise next week.”

“How about hazard pay bonuses? For almost getting whooped by a busty S-rank?” Sakura tried to negotiate.

“You’re a shinobi. There is no hazard pay. Now then, before you face your potential deaths in the forest exam, good luck on your written exams! Remember! Those who breaks rules are scum, but those who give up on their friends are worse than scum. So don’t give up!” Then he gave a knowing look to Sakura. “No, I’m not going to ask the Hokage for your raise.”

“Boo!” She sighed then smiled. “Worth a try! Ok, we’ll show Konoha whose the real boss of this town!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You’re sounding like a gang boss.”

“Whatever you believe I am, I am.” Sakura winked then started up the steps into the building. “Team Seven is gonna change Konoha!!!” 

Naruto cheered as he ran up after her, “You got that right! I’ll be Hokage and you guys can be my best men! Er, and women!” Naruto pumped his fist in the air, “Believe it!”

Sakura gave a sly grin, “Heyyyy, I like your spirit, Naruto! But I’m still the boss in our group!”

“What are you talking about?” Sasuke stepped up and stood side-by-side. “I’m the leader.”

Then all three of them grinned at each other and turned back toward the entrance. “Let’s see whose first in the exams then! That’ll decide the leader! SHANAROO!! Let’s go!” Sakura rushed in and Naruto ran after her. Sasuke shook his head before walking in after them. 

Kakashi watched as his students entered the next stage of their lives. Whether they passed or failed, he was proud of them. He thought back to Minato-sensei and his old team and his heavy heart lightened up just a little. “It’s time for the new generation, hm.” He watched their backs disappear into the building and mused, _Soon those three will stop being my students and become my equals. I have a feeling that they really will change Konoha._

For a brief moment, he could see his old team on their backs before the vision passed and Kakashi felt true hope blossom beneath the sadness. 

………………..

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“Okay, class! This is the first stage of the Chuunin Exams! You have one hour. Begin!”

Sakura stared at her paper and yawned. Due to her crazy memory, she breezed through the nine questions, but still grumbled, “If it were so easy to make money.”

Sasuke frowned at the questions and wasted no time in activating his sharingan. He peeked at Sakura’s answers with no remorse. If she ever found out, she would both mock him and charge him so he had to do it sneakily. He smirked.

Naruto stared long and hard at the questions and wanted to cry. Even after all that studying, these questions were not covered in the genin textbooks! This was cheating! No one could know this! He peeked at Sakura and Sasuke’s calm faces and bit his lip. Or maybe it was just him? “Aw man…” He couldn’t answer anything!

It soon became close to the one hour mark when the teacher brought up the tenth question. Ibiki boomed out towards the stiff class, “If you fail to answer this question, you will never be able to take the exam again! But! If any of your team forfeits before hearing the question, all of your team becomes disqualified! But you can still retake the exams. Decide now!”

The atmosphere of the classroom thickened as students looked at one another. Soon, a boy raised his hand and asked to leave with his head down and his team followed him. More and more people raised their hands and Naruto almost raised his under the pressure…Even though Sakura studied so hard with him, he would only bring them down…but…but…He thought of her fierce declaration at the steps and her unwavering faith in him and he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t give up now even if it led to failure. Sakura would only beat him up, he was sure of it. 

New strength surged in him as he jumped to his feet. So what if he couldn’t answer the other questions?! He won’t give in now! 

Naruto clenched his fist and roared out to the world in desperation and determination, “I will never give up! My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I will become Hokage no matter what! So throw whatever you have at me, sooner or later I will make my dream come true!! Believe it!!” Other ninjas were taken aback by his crazy optimism and spirit and Sakura saw the tide of the crowd go in his favor. _Hmmm….maybe his hokage dream can be pushed along faster hehe…_

Sakura smiled then jumped to her feet, having a bit of fun as she yelled, “You got that right, Naruto!! Team Seven will never give to the likes of you! Konoha will be ours to claim!!!” Then they both stared at Sasuke, who reluctantly stood and simply said with crossed arms, “I agree with my team.” But he smirked regardless.

People started to murmur about the crazy team seven, but soon many people lowered their hands and said, “I won’t give up!” People began to stand with the trio. 

“Me neither!”  
“We can’t let that idiot one up us! We’ll pass!”  
“No one’s going anywhere!”

Pretty soon twenty-six students found themselves challenging the teacher as they stood in unity. And the stern interrogator Ibiki was a bit shocked at the sudden camaraderie the class showed despite being future rivals. _Hmm. Team Seven had strange characters. Between the persistent kyuubi child, the smart kunoichi and the prodigy Uchiha child, this team certainly had promise._ “Well then…Last chance!”

No one moved from their spot and they gazed at him with an unmovable gaze. Ibiki smirked, “Well then…the tenth question is…There is none! You all passed!”

“WHAT?!” Sakura screamed first then cheered. “OH YEAH, BABY! WHOSE GETTING TO THE TOP!!?” 

The pink kunoichi ruined the moment but soon the class cheered. Naruto leaped on top of his desk and roared while Sakura danced to herself. Sasuke pretended not to know them — their idiocy was only growing now that the two fed off each other’s chaotic energy. 

“Because you have shown great courage and the willingness to face the unknown, you deserve to be shinobi of Konoha! Do not forget this will of fire and proceed to the next test after resting. Good luck!” He roared in pride before he left the room, running his eyes at the unusual team seven before he left.

He smirked. “Kakashi raised an interesting bunch.”

Soon after, the second exam details were revealed and Sakura met up with her team and they discussed the second part of the exams. “So, we’ll be going to the Forest of Death next. Let’s see, I brought food, extra clothes, water obviously, a book —“

“Sakura, this isn’t a camping trip.” Sasuke frowned. “We don’t even know about the test details until now so why do you have all that?”

Sakura stuck her tongue out. “Now you are the one who should be lectured. Always be prepared for anything! We might have to spend some time in the forest.”

“There’s a time limit.”

“What if you need a futon for ten minutes?!”

Sasuke raised a brow and retorted, “I don’t even want to know why you carry that around the village.”

Sakura looked to the side. “No reason~!” _Ahahaha! I have to always prepare for when I have to run away, of course! Who knew if the Akatsuki story saga will just randomly start? This world has a bug — and it’s me!_

They System retorted, [Oh, so you are self-aware, Host? Then act seriously!]

_I am! I’m serious about my lifestyle comforts!_

[Why do I bother? Remember about Orochimaru!]

_Yes, yes. So bossy!_

Naruto meanwhile looked at her scrolls in appreciation and drooled. “Is there ramen in there? I’m so glad we have a seal-user on our team. No one else in Konoha can make so many different kinds of seals!”

“I know I’m the best, but I appreciate the compliments, Naruto.” She winked then took out the scroll they were given. “So this is a heaven scroll, huh. We can’t open this? Hmm…I wonder if there’s like a million dollars.”

Sasuke frowned at her. “Sakura…”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “I know, Sasuke-Teme. I’m not that stupid! I’m just curious about who created these, they are exquisite! Plus I love the brand - Heaven Scrolls? I should make a line of seals named like that. So many ideas!” Sakura examined the outside of the scroll, but without opening it up or messing with it, it was impossible to guess what was inside. Oh well. She’ll probably find out at the end of the test so she stopped caring.

“Don’t worry, guys! I won’t risk our future for some experiment.” Sakura narrowed her eyes in mirth and teased, “Now let’s see head to the next stage.” Like a cat whose found a new toy, she peered at the scroll. “I’m sure a lot of friends will come to visit us soon.” Especially creepy snake men. “Let’s go!”

So the three began the next stage of the exam…And the next chapter of their lives. 

_Meanwhile…_

Hidden on the outskirts of the village a pair stood in the shadows, peering out at the forests where the chuunin exams were held. 

The man frowned. For a long time since he last visited Konoha, he had been dreaming of pink hair…and he had to come back to investigate. It all started after seeing that strange little girl. Unfortunately for her, he’ll need to confront her, there was just no other way around it. It was also a good chance to see how that brother of his progressed. If he hasn’t progressed enough, he’ll ensure he became more motivated. He’ll make sure he remembered his hatred. It was the only way.

The man blinked and red eyes flashed.

……………………………

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 **AUTHOR NOTE:**

SO! It begins!!

Obvi I’m not about to re-watch ten million episodes so forgive my timeline alternative history. That said, Sakura’s dream influences are messing with Akatsuki’s minds and thus their actions….Who will show and how? And what will Sakura do?! Will Sasuke and Naruto stop her? So many things are coming together hahaha

Now then. It’s still a bit of time in Konoha, but no fear! I haven’t forgotten what genre this story was — time skips exist, but I won’t say when MWAHAHAHA (that’s not a spoiler is it?)

Anyway expect things to heat up and see y’all next time!

Thanks for reading and please review! Let’s get this rollercoaster spinning!

Ciao,

WitchySkies~

  
P.S. Konoha world arc is a slow starter compared to future arcs because I just love Team Seven dynamics now. Future arcs will be start more in-the-action — at least I plan on that. Ok! See yas!


	8. Chapter Eight: “Chills, Exams and Stalkers — Delayed Starts”

Chapter Eight: “Chills, Exams and Stalkers — Delayed Starts”

“These exams are brutal. First, I have to avoid getting stabbed to death by angry buff teens with kunai, then I have to get an (admittedly pretty but not my type) snake man to bite my business partner/frenemy, and now I gotta deal with delicious stalkers who only want same dude. Damn iiiit! Why does Sasuke get all the guys?! He even gets biting action! Pretty bastard.”  
—On Being Up-Staged By My Handsome, Evil Teammate **“Jeez, Sasuke! For someone who professes to hate everybody and revive their clan, how come you get all the hot guys?! Even my stalkers belong to you! It’s not fair! I’m the protagonist here!”**

**System: You’re acting like a jealous second female lead.**

**Sasuke: First, I don’t need that attention. Second, one of those stalkers is my brother, idiot. And third, I’m the protagonist, Sakura.**

**Naruto: Hey! What about me?! My name’s the freaking anime title!**

**Sakura: That’s not important. Now — Teach me your Sexy no Jutsu! I need to find another village to man-hunt — erm, meet people. Apparently everyone in this village are into emo guys sigh.**

**Itachi/Sasuke: Get your mind outta the gutter!**

**Orochimaru: …….Let’s go back, Kabuto.**

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Two men sitting in a tree, kiss— aha! Fourth wall broken for a second. Ahem, back to story:

High on the tree tops of the 44th training ground AKA “Forest of Death”, two shady men stood undetected by anbu as they studied the genin from afar. Just two cloaked guys standing there. Watching young genin fight in an exam to the death. Such was the life in Konoha. 

“Hey, Itachi. Why are we stalking a pink chick and your brother? I was really looking forward to having one day off, you know. Getting a swim at home base would have been nice.” A tall blue shark-like man with gills and sharp teeth stood alongside the famous Uchiha murderer. His tall form draped in the classic Akatsuki black cloak with red clouds, he stood high on the large tree, carefully masking his chakra and staying hidden with Itachi’s help. He sighed, stuck his sword upright on the tree branch where they stood, and then leaned against it. “Our next mission is in the opposite direction.”

“You’ll live. There is something important I need to confirm.” Itachi peered down at the genin as they headed out into the forest of death. “But first, I want to see my little brother’s progress if you can wait.” While he would love to leave Kisame to his own plans, they just came from another mission and rules dictated they reported back together.

“Hmm. Whatever. It’s just a day.” Kisame looked at the young trio Itachi had his eyes lazily, but kept his eye on Sakura. For some reason, her pink hair reminded him of someone, but he forgot…Strange. When he peeked at Itachi’s expression, he found that the one he mostly kept his eye on was the same girl. “I’m curious about the pinky.”

Itachi glanced back at his partner and frowned. “Don’t interfere.”

“Of course. I know.” Kisame rolled his eyes, but inwardly frowned. That girl gave him a sense of deja vu — he never had any good encounters when deja vu was involved. _There was something in her eyes that felt familiar, but this is the first time I’ve seen her._ He glanced back at Itachi — before now, he’s never showed an interest in his brother’s teammates. Curious…

Thus two Akatsuki members stared at the innocent-looking pink kunoichi. 

Meanwhile…Hidden away on the opposite side of the clearing, a certain snake man also watched over Team Seven’s young students with curious eyes…his long tongue flicked out when he saw his target, but his eyes widened a fraction. “Kabuto.”

“Yes, sir.” A man with white hair fixed up his glasses. 

“When you infiltrate, make sure to ask about the pink one’s origins. If possible, figure out who her grandmother is.”

“Of course.” He disappeared with a smile.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at the unexpected treat. He only intended to ‘introduce’ himself to Sasuke…but that girl had that woman’s eyes. The hair color stood out, but the girl’s eyes and the way she held herself gave her away. He gritted his teeth. 

_If I’m correct, than that woman not only lived, but she had still left me and has what seems to be a grandchild. If she still lives…_

_…I will never forgive you, **Elder Sister.**_

When he changed his main target, Orochimaru vanished and a snake slid away in his place…cold golden eyes darkening were the last to be seen in the shadows of the forest before it vanished…and so the wheels of fate began to turn.

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………………………………..

Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke reported with the other teams as they began the second half of the Chuunin Exams. Anko already gave them the heaven scroll, but for some reason there was a delay in the gates opening, so the team had walked around to kill time. Apparently, someone may have found something off, but security didn’t reveal the rest. 

“That’s weird. What kind of security breach would postpone the exam?” Sasuke muttered while Naruto complained. 

Sakura only hummed and hawed, then got to her feet and dragged the both of them. “Let’s find out!”

“There’s no way. We can’t leave the gate or we’d risk missing our shot.” Sasuke sighed.

“No, Anko said she’d let us know. Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to walk a bit. Maybe we’d run into a clue by pure luck!” The boys just gave her a disbelieving look and Sakura sighed. “Ok, fine! I’m bored. We’d been cooped up in that exam room for too long. I need to stretch my legs out — or do you want my leg to cramp while we’re running from fireballs?!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but said, “Fine. A little walk is better than sitting around.” 

“Can’t we just rest? I’m wiped out from the exam! My head hurts!” Naruto complained, but then Sakura merely smiled.

“Ok, then. Bye, Naruto! Me and Sasuke here will go on a date!” She winked then started to walk away with the stoic who rolled his eyes again, but played along.

“W-Wait for me!” Naruto leaped to his feet. “I’m coming!”

While they paced around, they ran into Ino and her team as well as Neji and his team. Ever since their academy days, the genin would be bitter rivals trained and expected to fight each other as rivals to the death. But now, thanks to Sakura’s amnesia, business connections and their newfound friendship with Hinata, the three teams found themselves in alliance in a short amoutn of time and greeted each other with smiles.

“Yo!” Sakura said as she ran up to her friend and ‘Monetize Sasuke Idol Culture Plan’ business partner. “Long time no see Ino! How’d your store do?” She gave her a wink and jabbed her thumb at Sasuke when he wasn’t looking.

Ino winked back, “Doing great, bestie! I gotta say, your last…masterpiece…really sold out! Stop by the store for your earnings. If you can get a new batch in, I’ll even market them with a free flower! Of course, I bought a couple, hehe.”

“Oooh! Perfect combo! Those little girls will have their hearts coming out of their throats~ And next time, just take a few, Ino! We’re friends so it’s on the house. Of course, the…project is…ahem, kept secure?” Sakura whispered behind the back of her hand as she practically hovered over her. In order to prevent Sasuke from murdering her and their profits, the girls created a secret network so fans can get a heads up on the next good and so the law didn’t catch her selling un-authorized prints of her infamous teammate.

“Extremely secure. No one wants to risk losing your artwork!” The two girls giggled like evil villainesses while their male counter-parts eyed them suspiciously.

“Ne, Sakura-chan, what are you and Ino talking about?” Naruto leaned in to eavesdrop, but Sakura shoved him away.

“Nothing!” They both yelled. Then Sakura coughed, “Really, Naruto. A girl’s gotta have some privacy.” She gave off a confident vibe and flicked her hair to the side. Then she found Hinata shyly waving towards her and looped her arm around the heiress’s shoulders. “Come here, Hinata! You know Ino, right? See, lemme tell you some juicy offers…” Sakura winked at Ino and she nodded. Even she knew about the Hyuuga Heiress’s crush. They both huddled their heads together with the poor Hyuuga girl and soon her face turned red as a tomato. 

When they finished speaking, Hinata nodded enthusiastically and Sakura winked. “Gotcha! One ramen loving artwork made tailored for you.” She giggled as Hinata smiled back shyly. “Shall I get an autograph? I can also couple it with underwear…” Soon, Sakura’s greedy side began to take over and Hinata had to calm her down.

“N-No! Just the artwork is fine! Well…maybe an autograph…” She hid her face in her hands. Sure enough, the two girls awakened the spirit of fangirl comraderie in her. She must make sure Neji never found out!

Meanwhile Tenten was pulled over by Ino and they discussed artwork except this time involving Neji. At first Tenten gave an ‘ugh’ face, but then Sakura started to sell the idea of profits…and as an official team member of Neji, she could back the authenticity of the artwork (and thus the body proportions) and gain royalties…Soon the slightly impoverished kunoichi began to be swayed by the idea and Sakura’s grin grew more evil. 

System: [Be careful you don’t sell so much that the men find out! We’ll be killed off to the next world early and get in karma point debt!]

_Oh, don’t worry! It’s not like they’re completely naked. I do censor them and just put roses everywhere! The girls here love the romance of it all. And the added bit of muscle. Although the series where I aged them to Kakashi’s age grew popular…do you think there is a market for Kakashi fans? Hmm….It’d probably be mature ladies, but they have deeper pockets…and he does read Icha Icha a lot so it should be fair game…Hehehe._

Suddenly, the atomphere of the Forest of Death turned sinister in a different direction as the kunoichi of the three teams joined together to giggle and whisper in hushed tones. The men looked at each other and shrugged. Women, what could they say? If only they knew what Sakura had planned for the rest of the unsuspecting men…her dreams of an idol culture around her cute co-workers only grew stronger…

 _Mwahahaha! Soon…Soon…I will take over the entire entertainment industry of Konoha! Once this typical village becomes advanced, it will be too late. Move over, BTSSS, Konoha Ninjas Down Under are taking over!_ Sakura cackled away in her heart despite the fact that BTSSS wasn’t even born for a couple centuries. 

Meanwhile, a certain team from the sand village Sunagakure eyed the Konoha teams suspiciously. A blonde female with a large fan on her back frowned, “Do you think they’re allying up for the next round? Kankuro?”

A man full-on face paint and puppets said, “Tch. You’re right Temari. They might cooperate with each other and work against the visiting teams from other villages. We should strike them down first — the pink hair girl looks like an easy target.”

“No. I sense an evil aura from the girl. No matter.” A pale boy with short red hair with a striking kanji tattoo on his temple spoke, “Stick with the plan. So what if they’re cooperating? It’s all the same in the end.” He glared at his elder siblings and they stiffened up.

“Yes, Gaara.” The siblings bowed their heads. 

Suddenly, a voice boomed out, “The gates are open!”

“That’s our cue! Good luck guys!” Sakura waved while the others only shook their heads. “Guess the security breach was a small thing.”

“We’re going the same way. Just try not to get killed so easily. To think an insane girl like you invented a new way of advanced scroll-making is just ridiculous.” Neji scoffed. 

“Aw, don’t be worried~ If you ever need a healer out there, just find me! For a fee.” Sakura leaned in close to the Hyuuga’s ear and blew a kiss. Her hot breath tickled his ear and he jumped away with a blush. 

“Back off, strange woman!”

Sakura licked her lips like a predator. “Better watch your back, Neji, love.” She blew another kiss to tease the boy and sure enough he shivered and ran away. Tenten and Lee had to run to catch up.

“Ahahaha! I like this new you, Sakura-chan! Good luck in the exams, ok?” Ino hit Sakura’s back in a friendly manner before running off with her team. “Remember to give us a good fight out there! No holding back!”

“You’ll wish you never said that!” Sakura yelled after them with a smile. “Kick ass, Ino!”

“Uh, Sakura, shouldn’t we follow?” Naruto asked. Sasuke already began to walk off, but stopped when he saw Sakura didn’t move.

“Do you guys sense anybody?” Sakura peered out around their surroundings, but she couldn’t tell with her current senses. Even though she gained a vast improvement in sensing chakra, she was still not as experienced as Kakashi or other Anbu in this matter. “I just had a feeling.” 

The System: [Orochimaru and Sasuke’s brother are here in hiding. Your abilities are still lacking compared to those powerful ninja]

_Ah. I get it. Thank you, cheat GPS. Damn, I wanted to find out on my own, System! Ruining the moment! Whatever, it’s not surprising about Orochimaru, but Itachi wasn’t supposed to be here right?_

[The world has changed since you took over this life. I can analyze our immediate surroundings, but I am still a low level System until I get promoted so I cannot grasp the entirety of the story’s direction and it’s people. You’re on your own on this]

 _Huh. So you do evolve with promotions. Well, whatever. It’s more fun to have a mystery._ And so, Sakura stopped checking and stuck her tongue out. “My bad guys, it’s probably my imagination. I’m thinking squirrels are spies hahaha! Let’s go!”

“Jeez don’t scare us! Hey— Wait for meeee!!” Sakura sped off and Naruto had to run after her with Sasuke.

“WAIT FOR USSSS!!! Sakura-chan!!!”

As soon as she left, a few eyes narrowed in appreciation. It was rare to find a group of genin so promising. Even the most normal one of the bunch had sensed what anbu had yet to. Interesting…

Then one by one, the various figures disappeared from sight, unaware of the other across the fields as they began to proceed with their machinations. This year, the blood on these fields will flow.

Meanwhile, back at the shadows of the gate, Anko watched the hopeful genin run off into the fields. “There’s something wrong. I can feel it…” Anko peered over the distant trees as if the forest itself could answer her questions. 

She eyed the great forest with narrow eyes. She had thought she sensed her old teacher’s chakra just near here, but when she and her team investigated, nothing was found. “I only hope I’m paranoid…”

A cold wind swept past her.

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

  
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

It is I. WitchySkies. Come from the gods of anime and debauchery —

Yes. I’m drunk….Drunk off my loneliness! BURN.

No? That’s not a burn? It’s pitiful, really? Ah…Whatever you’re looking at the next badass Obito — oh, still not exactly something to be proud of? How about Kakashi? He has that lonely vibe. Ok? Ok! Kakashi it is!

— Ignore that spill of delirium please.

RESTART: Hello everybody!!! WitchySkies in the house!

I hope you like the latest chapter to Sakura’s adventures and excuse the lack of sexy jokes this time around. (For a romance comedy that was supposed to be a bit smutty, it sure is doing slow burn to the extreme. But don’t worry! She’ll be in her full mode when, uh, ya know, she’s not a genin. Just saying. COUGH. (Time skips exist. Repeat.)

Now! Kisame will get more action next chap (excuuuuse me, not THAT action — yet HA) and Sakura needs to figure out her finances because the ball will roll and it will roll fast! GO CHOUJI! GET THAT PLOT ROLLING WITH YOUR JUTSU!!!

Also, what’s up with Orochimaru? Glad you asked. It’s *Spoiler*! Ok! I had a bit of fun with the entire Naruto world, so who knows how Sakura’s tutorial stage messed them up? HEHEHEH. Find out soon!

On that note, I’ll be updating at a slower pace as I gear up for school, but this story is close to my heart along with Lost Sakura (apolocalyptic/humor/romance) and Twelve Nights (Totes erotica mode fairy tale sakura akatsuki harem. THAT I plan on finishing in the next month or two). And for any yaoi fans of questionable threesomes, OPM apocalypse (one punch man) Reborn: Hero is still on. Just going at it slow. 

My aim for THIS World Hopping Sakura is to update at least once a week so “No fear! WitchySkies here!” (I just did a joke off my own fanfic’s joke. Dear god, save me).

And as usual, I hope your day is going grand and let’s pray to get past November and make it to Christmas! (Tho my wishlist got bamboozled. The big retailers messed up sched and put out preorders for PS5 a day early! I WAS WORKING — AHHHH MISSED MY BABYYYYY)

*Cough* Excuse me. 

Now, I shall leave you to your nefarious devices and let’s all dream up diabolical plans with Sakura-chan~

Please review what you think of this pace or just on everything — hell, discussions on big bang theories or whether Sakura would be a doctor in the real world are all on the table! I’m obviously missing anime talk (yeah. Had an anime talk with my team lead and let’s just say — it’s like finding water in a desert. Conventions…I won’t miss your dates ever again!)

Much love and let’s dance the night away,

WitchySkies

P.S. Anybody else striving for a cosplay 2021 transformation? I have like 10,000 pounds to lose, but I am going to use Sakura to motivate me. Imagine: Sakura and you are working out and studying to get your dreams done! Instead of dealing with covid, she had the uncertainty of if Sasuke was gonna come back all. I mean, even if he did, you still had to think if he would kill all the villagers in revenge. Obvi pandemics are way worse uncertain times, but still — girl can’t make plans based on the uncertainty of Uchiha psychosis (cause he went psycho, but hey, what’s a girl to do?)

So while we all deal with natural uncertainties and futures, let’s come up with our Ninja Way! Believe it!

P.S.S. So maybe I’m the one acting like a tame Sasuke who needs Sakura’s love therapy, but anyone else working on their shiznit? If ya want, we can pretend we are the Avatar (and in a cave LOL).

P.S.S.S.S>S>S>S>S>S>S: None of this makes sense anymore (well, according to the sane side of the brain who hates cookies) so Ima stop here. Thank you for reading and fight on, shinobi!!! Mwah!


	9. Chapter Nine: “The Problem with Dreams and Memories of Evil Bosses”

**Chapter Nine: “The Problem with Dreams and Memories of Evil Bosses”**

Sakura: “If a shady organization offers you crazy benefits and really high pay — don’t fall for it! Don’t be greedy like me and end up a modern slave to capitalism ran by psychotic bosses who vowed to control the underworld.”  
—On Finding a Job After College Turned Wrong **“Was It So Wrong To Want To Be Rich and Love My Work?”**

**System: It is if you over-work yourself to death plotting revenge. Now you’re my slave.**

**Sakura: What was that?**

**System: Nothing.**

**Kisame: I feel you. Welcome to the Slaving Under Evil Bosses Club. That’s why I joined the Akatsuki. At least I’m evil for world peace. Comes with free room and board.**

**Itachi: You’re not convincing the new recruit very well.**

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DASH —!!

Sakura and team were speeding along towards the tower, but keeping an eye out for any other teams. “Most likely the other teams will hide around the Tower or attack those just starting off. It’s best if we pick one scroll off early so we can just ram our way past the others before those with scrolls have time to settle around the tower and take care of the competition. 

Sasuke said, “I agree. Timing is crucial to get out of here without minimal injuries.”

Meanwhile, the System scolded Sakura: [You need to take your time in the forest! Remember Orochimaru. How many times must I remind you?!] It’s usually chipper voice sounded angry. The longer it hung around Sakura, the more emotional it seemed to be. The System was starting to be more human.

_Oh pish posh! No worries! As long as we get two scrolls to be safe, I’m sure I can figure out to make us stay longer in the forest. I just don’t want to risk anyone’s lives when we can just snatch a scroll peacefully instead of acting desperate later on!_

[You mean, you don’t want to mess up your promotion]

_See, this is why we are partners. You understand me so well!_

[I am surprised you are so serious about your career, however I suppose even you must have some pride. You liked to brag about your great sex life in your past life, but were abstinent for the last few years before death. That is most commendable to choose work over love]

_…It’s more like I was forced to be a work-slave. I lvoed my actual job, I just hated who I worked with, assholes._

[I do not understand. Slavery was illegal for centuries]

 _I wasn’t literally a slave — forget it. Point is that my old boss was…How do you say? Evil. Pure evil._ Sakura winced at the memories of her old life. When she graduated college, she was ecstatic to find an elite job creating bloodline cartridges for battle tournaments that made up the bulk of entertainment and military advancements without the human bloodshed in future Konoha. And like all great industries, there was always a bit of corruption and her old boss was the head honcho of corruption. He was quite big on being humane on his employees and giving big raises, but once that man found someone who had talent, he never let go. And when she wanted to quit, he actively sabotaged her from giving manipulating her landlord to giving her higher rent to ruining her dates by interrupting. At some point, she just gave up on escaping in favor of sabotaging his company from the inside, but before her plan could hatch, she died from work-overload. Guess working overtime on the job and then doing a second job of overthrowing her bosses with three hours of sleep took it’s toll.

_If I didn’t know he was as much a greedy bastard as I was, I would think he had a crush on me! But he was EVIL. More evil than me and that said something! Life was a bitch._

_All I know, System, is that I don’t see that asshole with piercings all over his damn nose again! Stupid Pein! Or should it be Nagato? Those two brothers had a black belly business, I tell you. I swear. I’m never going back to those days of working too hard! Once I’m done with the Akatsuki, easy life of romantic adventures and riches, here I come!_

System: [Uh. Host? Do you remember the three children you tried to teach how to hunt a rabbit?]

_Yes? The one that I dreamed of the other day? What of it?_

[Do you remember the quiet, erm, emo kid as you put it?]

_Ah, the cutie! Of course, he needs to eat more rabbit and not just fish. You never told me their names for some reason._

[It wasn’t deemed important then and your teen self was quite irresponsible so the topic never came up. His name is Nagato. The other boy is Pein. And the last girl is Konan.]

Sakura tripped on her foot, but covered it up with a smile. Then she focused back on the System, ignoring her teammates’ odd looks. _You’re shitting me. No, no. I don’t like what you’re implying. It must be a coincidence! I didn’t have a Konan in my old life, but the other children are too angelic to grow up to be like my old bosses._

[It is a coincidence, but you are also Sakura Haruno in many worlds. Who knows what the gods have planned in your fates? Now about another issue, you really need to look up Konoha history instead of just business ideas, Host. Your lack of awareness is quite irresponsible.]

 _I’m sure this is all a coincidence. I mean, I’m also a Sakura Haruno, but I’m not nearly alike to this time’s version. Falling in love with Sasuke and staying in one village all my life? Too much of a pain. I prefer to travel and not be attached. There’s no way I’m facing my old bosses in the Akatsuki. Just no!_ Sakura truly believed in her denial as she shook her head. Once more, her team began to consider giving her another psych evaluation once they finished the exams.

[I hope you’re correct…] The System was going to explain about the Akatsuki’s true owners, but let it go. And despite this part not being in it’s programmed personality, a strange itch formed. It wanted to tease it’s host. [I’m curious to see your reaction]

 _Hm?_ Sakura got distracted when she almost ran into a branch and ducked her head.

[Nothing. Good luck on your Chuunin Exams]

_Huh. You’re actually being nice to me. It’s creepy. Stop it._

[…] Yes, the System really wanted to see her reaction when she met the other Akatsuki.

Naruto cut off Sakura’s mental conversation with the System with a worried gaze, “Um, Sakura-chan? Are you ok? You’re zoning out there.”

Sakura snapped out of it and smiled back. “No worries! I was just, um, thinking of battle strategies. Speak of the devil!” Sakura sensed a trace of chakra of a trio hiding in the bushes up ahead. “Look alive! 13:00 we got company!”

Sasuke and Naruto glanced at the bushes and nodded to each other. They sped up and used the element of surprise to attack first. A few kunai cut through the bushes and three enemy shinobi barely dodged in time. When they emerged from the bushes, Sakura felt a faint hesitation before steeling her mind. The three young teenagers held only bloodlust in their eyes as they were about to attack. 

Sakura immediately summoned a genjutsu and the unlucky enemy found themselves feeling like they were sinking into the ground. 

“Tch! You can’t trick us!” One of the ninja tried to do the release sign to get out of the genjutsu only to fail. “Impossible!”

Sakura smirked. “Unlucky for you, my head’s a large part of my charm.” Before the exam, she thought of ways to strengthen her gentjustsus with the input of various shinobi she ‘job-shadowed’ as she called it. Unless they were an anbu, it would be hard to get out of her illusions with a simple release sign. Then without another word, she and the boys knocked each one out while they scrambled on their knees trying to find their bearing. It was as easy as catching little toddlers who struggled to walk.

“Huh. That was easy.” Sakura twirled the earth scroll they stole in her hand. “Great work guys!”

Naruto smiled happily. “Yeah, I just know we’re going to be the first guys! Though how’d you learn genjutsu, Sakura-chan? You never use it during training.” Naruto’s respect for his crazy friend grew. Ever since she hit her head, she’s been surprising him more and more. He always knew she was smart, but he didn’t realize just how much talents she hid! He clenched his fist in excitement, he had to catch up!

“I asked for advice from Kurenai — I got introduced by Kakashi-Sensei. Long story. That and I had some ideas from the Uchiha and Hyuuga books so it was basically unpaid extra training. Sigh. If only you’d teach me your Sexy no Jutsu, then I’d be unstoppable with my genjutsu.”

“NO.” Both Sasuke and Naruto cut her off. If Sakura used the jutsu to become a busty female, it wouldn’t be a joke anymore! 

“Is it because I’d be female? No worries, I can be a handsome guy and just create my own harem — though it’d still be me so it would be boring. Or would it…?” Sakura tilted her head as she thought of the implications. Hmm, a reverse harem no jutsu was tempting…

“NO!” Once again the boys disagreed. “You shouldn’t do that with your clones!”

“Oho?” Sakura raised her brows suggestively. “And what are you suggesting? I didn’t say anything. Hm? Are you boys hiding something? Naruto-kun, got something to share about your shadow clone groups?”

A blush painted both of their faces. Naruto spurted out, “I’m not! It’s just the way you talk just sounds pervy like Kakashi-Sensei’s books!”

“Hey, I’m not judging.” Sakura raised her hands. “A ninja’s got to do what a ninja’s go to do.” She whistled.

“Sakura-chan!!!” Naruto yelled.

 _Groan._ Their conversation cut short when the enemy shinobi began to wake up and then squirmed against the ropes that tied them to the tree. They shouted, “Let us go!”

“Nah. We got your scroll by the way. Whatcha gonna do about it?” Sakura teased evilly. If they were ambushed by then, her team would be the ones losing their scroll…or worse. She had no regrets.

“Let’s just leave them.” Sasuke looked down at them.

Meanwhile the System sounded an alarm: [Host! If you go to the tower now, it’d be too early! Stall time until Orochimaru attacks!]

_I KNOW. Gods, you repeat yourself a lot. Don’t worry. I’ll just have us go to the tower slowly with the excuse of watching out for other traps or ambushes. Relaaaax, System. Oh, wait, I have a better idea!_

And so, Sakura proceeded with her epic plan that she made up on the spot — “Sooo. We should make sure to get rid of our competition while we can by stealing their scrolls.” Guilt pressed against her heart as she gave some bullshit reason to stay longer, but it was for a good cause! She wasn’t going to fight too seriously and there was no limit to the amount of teams to win, right? So long as they just had to get there on time, they’d still pass. “If we see who will approach the tied up genin, we can tell they’re evil and serve justice! Hence, we are justified in taking their scroll.” She excused her guilt away in the next second. 

“That’s odd coming from you, Sakura. You never take the initiative without profit.” Sasuke gave her a suspicious look. “What are you hiding?”

Naruto rubbed his chin while he hovered over Sakura’s sweat-drenched face of guilt. Rubbing his chin like an elderly wise man, he said, “Sasuke-teme’s right. You look guilty.”

“I-I do not!” Why is it that every time her conscience got provoked, she couldn’t lie as well as she usually did?! It’s for a good cause, me! “It’s a sound argument! And besides, some of the other teams that finish early are probably guarding the tower for prey like us. If we get an extra scroll, we can trick them with that one and still have two to spare. It’s a safety measure, I swear!”

“Hmm…” Naruto peered closer. As a trickster himself, he was used to lying and Sakura was full of it! “I don’t know, Sakura-chan. You look awwwfully guilty…” He drawled out.

Sakura turned her head to the side with a glare. Damn it! If even dense Naruto could catch her lies, she was doomed. This was humiliating — _she_ was supposed to be the ultimate trickster —erm, merchant! “If we miss this chance to get another scroll for safekeeping, then it’d be too late if we get outnumbered by an ambush at the tower.”

“She’s right, but she’s still hiding something. Whatever. Let’s just see what happens.” Sasuke cut short Naruto’s interrogation and proceeded to hide in the bushes and mask his chakra. “We have the time.”

“Hold up.” Sakura made sure the enemy were gagged tight and then hid with Naruto following along. And so…they waited.

And waited.

A few teams passed but simply kept going. One member scoffed at the tied up trio. “Tch. It’s an obvious trap. Whoever the poor suckers are must be desparate. They can only wait for someone to take the bait. Losers.” He threw a rock at the trio then ran off. “They probably don’t even have a scroll!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked at Sakura, who pouted. Naruto stifled his laugh.

After an hour passed, Sakura thought about abandoning the ploy in favor of just getting them a bit lost until Orochimaru found them when a strange white-haired weirdo came up alone. He smiled as he fixed his glasses up, “You seem to be abandoned.”

 _There’s no way he’ll fall for this._ Sakura softly sighed while she waited for this guy to leave as well. She braced herself for her work to be ridiculed. 

“Poor kids. You failed in killing your target, but they spared you? That’s strange, there’s no mercy for shinobi. Or are they watching me now?” A slow sadistic smile spread across his face. “Now how shall I lure them out?” He took out a kunai and walked up to the tied genin slowly… The tip of the kunai trailed down the cheek of one genin and blood dripped. “You better hurry or I’ll have to slice his cheek off…” He called out to the bushes while the boy cried under his evil gaze.

Sakura gritted her teeth — damn it! This asshole was acting more diabolical than her. How dare he ruin her fun! And so, she leaped from the bushes in a battle stance and threw a kunai at his face. “This is an exam not a torture session! You’re going too far!”

“You’re not going far enough.” Kabuto’s eyes lit up at the sight of the pink-haired girl. “Perfect! I have some questions for you.”

“Oh yeah? I’m not interested in dealing with sadistic bastards.” She clenched her fists and held up another kunai. As much as she wanted to drag her arsenal of scrolls around, she only had so many ways to store them and didn’t want to waste any so she had to be picky. If she a choice, she would rather just depend on not using up all her scrolls. As soon as the exams were over, she SO needed to figure out a better way of storing scrolls…She wondered if they could be tinier, but just as effective…Maybe mini-scrolls that expand in size if they needed to be bigger or a substitute for microchips or — Sakura lost herself in fantasy as she thought of her inventions.

The System scolded her: [Pay attention, Host! You aren’t in your lab!]

 _It’s fine. He has questions for me for some reason, so he shouldn’t want to kill me so badly. Heh. Not yet anyway~_ Her eyes flashed as she cracked her knuckles. “I changed my mind. Let’s talk.” _It’ll buy me time for Orochimaru’s grand entrance and I get to see what his deal is. Win-win, me!_

“Uh, Sakura, do you know him?” Naruto asked. He and Sasuke had long reached her side and prepared for battle. 

“Nope! And no — he’s too sadistic for my taste so he isn’t another eye candy either, if you were gonna suggest that.” Sakura smiled cheerfully. “We have Kakashi-Sensei so my heart’s taken!”

“…” The boys gave her an odd look.

Kabuto watched them with amusement then cut to the chase. “That pink hair stands out, kunoichi. Who is your clan and are your people really from Konoha? I like to study unusual people and track their history. Pink hair is an unusual trait.” He bullshitted them and waited to see if the young girl would take his bait.

“Why, I know I’m hot, but damn. To be this interested…” Sakura grimaced and messed with him. “Is this love at first sight? You look possessive so I’m not interested, I’m sorry.”

Kabuto’s head throbbed. “No, I’m not interested in you like that! I am a researcher by heart and simply wish to know where your unusual family trait comes from. Who are your people?” He would really rather just interrogate her with his hands, but he suspected his mentor wouldn’t like that so he restrained himself. The girl didn’t seem approachable so his long-term plan was aborted in favor of direct threats. “If you don’t wish to see me cut your catch to bits, you’d best answer.” He patted the head of a squirming genin. 

Sakura grinned with her eyes dipped into crescents as she pissed him off more, “Aw, acting shy! If you tell me your name and number, I MIGHT consider dating you, but I don’t know if you’d want to dissect me when I sleep. You seem like the type.”

“Stop making me to be some creep, girl!”

“Sakura Haruno.” She gave up her name since he’d find out sooner or later. It wasn’t a secret. All he had to do was ask another student later. “We’re all from Konoha so you can stop tracking pink-haired ladies and go back to stealing underwear like other perverts.”

“I am not a pervert!” Kabuto gritted his teeth and spun the kunai between his fingers. “How about I teach you a lesson as payment for answering my questions —“ Before he could give into his anger, a spike of familiar chakra alerted him to stand down and he faced the opposite side of the area. What was his master doing? It was too early to reveal himself. But who was he to question what he wanted? He dropped his hand and put his kunai away without a word.

Sakura turned toward the place Kabuto focused on and straightened her back. Turning serious, she informed her team, “Watch your backs, we got strong company.” The hairs on the back of her neck raised as she finally faced the first Akatsuki child from her dreams.

System: [Finally, one thing is going right. I worried over your reckless urges to make things difficult for yourself, but there is still hope for your development, Host]

_Fucking — okay, System! Ruining the tension, why don’t you? I got it so calm your tits._

[I have no material body so tits would not be part of my biolo—]

_Let me do my mission in peace!_

As if on cue, a pale man dressed in gray robes stepped from the dark of the forest and approached the genin. Kabuto blinked in confusion before adapting to his master’s wishes and bowed. 

Orochimaru smiled at Sakura and her team, “Hello dearsss.”

  
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Hidden among the leaves in snake form, Orochimaru studied the genin as they fought the rival team. He studied Sasuke’s form, noted the healthy skin and young energy — yesss, he would perfect for his experiment. And he will never reject the chance for more power. All was going to go to plan in his mission to obtain all the world’s secrets. As a sannin, one must have something to live for or there was no point in life, after all.

He waited at first on seeing how his future Uchiha vessel fought, but he kept getting distracted by that cursed woman’s spawn. They called her Sakura…They even shared the exact same name, too. No matter how he wanted to keep his calm, he grew agitated at the sight of the pink-haired kunoichi. 

Elder Sister…After all these years, she still bothered him. No matter how long it’s been since she abadoned him, he could never forget her. 

Memories of those idyllic days in the village he called home played before his eyes. He couldn’t shake it away. The more he saw that pink genin, the more he remembered that woman who came to him like a dream. _Sakura-Onee-chan…_

And when she even spoke to Kabuto in the same fashion as the woman in his youth, he couldn’t stop the memories from playing out fully…

“Onee-chan! I found a snake!” A young Orochimaru ran up to Sakura as she weeded the garden. “It’s so pretty! Do you like it?” He looked up at her with wide eyes and Sakura squealed. 

She pinched his cheeks softly as she caressed the pale white skin of the dead snake he held in his palms. “Yes, it’s a pretty color. But it’s yours so I can’t take it.”

“Oh…You don’t like it…” He dropped his head down and teared up. 

Sakura panicked while she said, “No! I do! But it’s only good luck to the finder. White snakes are, um, good luck. Yes! They are suuuper good luck so you hold on to it, okay? When you have good luck, I have good luck. And that’s a great present — both of us are happy. Maybe you can make a wish! See?”

“Uh-huh!” The young child wiped his eyes and nodded enthusiastically. “Then I wish we stay together forever!”

“…” Sakura’s smile fell a little. “Orochimaru, I need to tell you some —“ Then as if a siren went off in her head, she stopped talking, sporting that lost gaze again. She did that a lot those days…Even when she found him near his dead parents, she had that gaze as if guided by some great force. One day, he wanted to know what she thought about so often…maybe this world had big secrets she only knew…He wanted to know everything.

Suddenly, Sakura sighed and said, “Nevermind. Orochimaru-kun, promise me you’ll be strong no matter what happens to me, okay? I want you to be happy and safe. Will you live life to your fullest?”

“Yes!” Then he grasped her dress with his small hands. “You’re not leaving me, right? You promised!”

“Come here.” Sakura pulled him into a hard hug and obliviously, the young Orochimaru held her back happily. “I’ll make sure to get you somewhere safe, okay? Your big sister says so.”

And so a couple years passed like this in peace until the day he ran into that man and everything changed. As soon as he told her about the man from Konoha, she hugged him hard and told him to carry a pouch and not open it until the end of the day. Then…she disappeared. Just as mysteriously as she arrived in his life and saved him, she left him without a word. Gone like a ghost. In the pouch she left were all of their savings with a single note saying to be strong. Enraged, he tore up that note to bits and threw it away, although he regretted it soon after. 

“If only I never met him…She would never leave…!” He already lost his parents and now even his elder sister went away. Why couldn’t he keep anyone close to him? Why was the world the way it was? He just…

**_He wanted to dissect this world that was so cruel to him. If life isn’t sacred, if fate was cruel and no one lived forever — he wanted to know why. He wanted to know everything about this broken reality._ **

And so began his lifelong passion with science and experimentation. 

No matter how long it’s been, he still remembered that woman who vowed to be his elder sister…For the three years she always seemed to be lost in thought, but he never knew she was thinking of leaving him. His only family. If he knew…he would have never ran into that hokage. As soon as he mentioned him, she disappeared as if leaving him to the village elder as if she were waiting for this moment…

Orochimaru sneered. As one of the great sannin, he would never be fazed by his enemy. Even when he challenged that damned Itachi, he never let it get to him for long. Everything was simply an experience and an experiment. She was the only exception. But now…after several decades…he felt true rage as he saw that woman in the this genin of a girl. Even though she was the one who found him, fed him and stirred up his passion to discover his true life mission, she still left without a word. She broke her promise.

He would never forgive her for her betrayal.

He snapped out of his throughts when the girl started challenging Kabuto. At this rate, the clueless genin would make an enemy of his prized apprentice and he doubted if he should let Kabuto deal with her. But when she said her name was actually Sakura Haruno…

How did they have the exact same body type, temperment and now even the same name? Even if she were her granddaughter, it was too much of a coincidence to be this much alike…No matter how long he searched for her throughout the years, he never found a clue to her existence. He had checked into Konoha before, but the Haruno family had known no one outside of the village with pink hair.When they gave birth to a child with pink hair, it was ironic, but unimportant. Then suddenly, he comes back to check on the last Uchiha when her potential kin shows up in Konoha acting like his elder sister’s reincarnation itself? It made no sense. He had a lot to investigate.

Doubts plagued his mind and he changed his plans then and there. With a smile, he walked out of the bushes, a human once more, and said, 

“Hello dearssss.”

The stage was set — Orochimaru, one of the three legendary sannin and one of the most feared missing-nin now confronted Team Seven. Once more, everything will change with this meeting. 

Whether Sakura wanted to or not.

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Heya!

As you can imagine, I do not remember everything about the chuunin exams although it’d be messed up with all these influences anyway. SO! Let’s just roll with it.

Battle mania fun! Go — I choose Sakura! Attack Kabuto with a fury attack! Ahahahaha!

Please enjoy your day and have some tea! 

I wanted to make this longer, but my fingers died so here we are. Hope you like it and please review! 

And why do I love imagining Orochimaru as a little brother. (Deep down, I confess I wish I was as smart as he was despite his fondness for scaly things).

Kisses,

WitchySkies

P.S. I have yet to stop drinking soda. My Sakura-inspired transformation plan is getting rough. Need to put more planning behind this.

P.S.S. Should I try teach english in Japan when it’s safe (Idk when that’ll be tho)? Life questions, mo! Anyone got experiences with that?

P.S.S.S. I should just become a ninja. An overweight ninja, but that’s why I’ll learn from Chouji! Let’s go, bro!


	10. Chapter Ten: “How Many Sakuras Can One Village Hold?”

**Chapter Ten: “How Many Sakuras Can One Village Hold?”**

Sakura: “Families are always a love-hate affiar. Why can’t it be simple like in anime?”  
—On Wishing Life Was On Easy-Mode With Happy Families and Rich Lovers **“I said lovers not husbands so I don’t have to text where I am when I sneak out at night and raid my bosses secrets from his filing cabinets in some Casanove-level revenge plot. Hmm, whaaaaa? Nothing!”**

**System: Yes. The Fourth Wall is broken and you definitely need to watch more anime if you think that it’s perfect. Also study your history!!**

**Sasuke: Agreed. Anime life isn’t always perfect. You should focus on training, forehead.**

**Naruto: But I got you guys! So it’s fine! Let’s train together!**

**Sakura: That’s because you’re both workaholics. Yes, Naruto, I know you only dream of work. Hokage is just more paperwork!**

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……………………………

“Hello, dearsss~” The creepy snake man then gave me a long stare as his elongated neck rose from his body and his face slithered next to mine, “Now where have I seen you before? Ah, yesss. Tell me, how is your family?” 

_Um….System? Why does a pretty, but creep snake dude want to know my family? Should I call FBI?_

[Oh, don’t you remember? Orochimaru is an Akatsuki — or he was. So you’ve met him before in the Tutorial Stage Dreams]

Sakura peered at the pale man whose neck made her want to do jump rope. His whole aura screamed ‘horror movie’ starring Dracula’s cousin except this guy looked like he loved to mess with people. No matter how much she tried to match his face to the kids she helped during her enforced dream missions, none matched. _Nope. Don’t remember any kid with long tongues and a penchant for removing their heads from their bodies by pretending their neck was a snake._

[Host. There is only one pale child with black hair whose eyes are golden. Did you forget the orphan you stayed with for a few years as an elder sister?]

Sakura’s eyes widened in shock. _No. No! It couldn’t be that cute child?! He was so calm and shy — and this guy is just so…so…extra! And besides, if that’s him, he must think I’m an old lady by now! Why do I feel old staring at my little brother being, I don’t know, fifty with better skin?_

[You have a history here so it should fool him from thinking you are the same from the past he knows. Even if fifty year olds can look twenty these days….]

_Repeat that. Now._

[No! I won’t have you getting into another beauty industry business idea!] The System already could tell what it’s Host was going to do and it won’t let her keep getting distracted! 

Just then, Orochimaru’s smile widened into a maniacal grin, “Are you afraid my dear? Do not worry. I am simply curiousss about your family…Your grandmother in particular. If you refuse to speak, then I’ll have to take you with me —”

“Don’t touch her.” Sasuke stumbled to his feet. “I’ll kill you.”

“Heh. I’ll get to you soon, child. I’m speaking to the young lady.” 

Kabuto watched this scene from the side and felt more confused. For someone who once obsessed over the Uchiha, he treated his prime target coldly. What was so special about this little girl that he was risking their entire plan? He glared hatefully at Sakura.

Sakura ignored the death glares and pursed her lips together. _Correction. Orochimaru thought the dream me is my grandmother. What should I do?! My parents died in this world, but I don’t know about this Sakura’s grandparents! I should con my way out of this._

“Um, she died a long time ago. Sorry. Choked on bread.” Sakura lied through her teeth. She really needed to ask about her family more. Well, since she’s living by herself and her parents were dead, then she could safely assume her grandparents were gone too. Unless there was bad history, there was no way they’d be able to ignore orphaned me. “Sorry for your loss.”

[Even I know that makes no sense. Why would you say sorry?]

 _I panicked! I was never good at family things…_ Her only bonds were to games and stories. Her parents just used her as an experiment after all. 

Orochimaru frowned then asked, “What color is the sky?”

“Uh…Blue.” Was she taking an IQ test now?

“Money or fame?”

“Money all the way!” She huffed proudly, just going along with the crazy sannin. Since she brought Sasuke and him together, she completed her mission, right? Right? Time for a promotion hahaha! The more Sakura deluded herself, the more she ignored all the weird signs Orochimaru gave off. Like the fact that he wasn’t even looking at Sasuke and giving her 20 questions. Deep down, she couldn’t help but have a bad feeling…

“Snakes are pretty? Especially white ones.” Even he didn’t know why he asked this, but Orochimaru couldn’t move his eyes from her face. She truly was an exact replica…

“Uh, yes?” She couldn’t help but think of chibi Orochimaru’s face…he always did love white snakes.

Suddenly, his voice turned high-pitched into a familiar child’s and he cooed, “Onee-chaaaan, when will the rabbits be ready? It’s burning again!” 

Without thinking, Sakura blurted, “They’ll be ready soon! Cooking is hard work! I— Oop.” Sakura froze as she realized what she said. His voice sounded exactly like the pale snarky child she spent three years of her life with. In each of her dream ‘tutorials’, it lasted anywhere from a single afternoon to three years depending on the mission — hence whey her concept of time was all fucked up. It happened enough times in her teenage years that weaving in and out of her life like Alice in Wonderland became instinctive so now whenever she heard certain voices, she automatically got into character. 

The snake sannin’s eyes narrowed as she responded exactly as his elder sister had nearly everyday in his youth. No matter how much she bragged about her perfect talents, she could only hunt rabbits and fish — and they were always burned. Why did she always over-cook things? Something about her not trusting viruses in foreign climates. “Ssstrange. Did your grandmother tell you about her past? Those were the same words she used to tell me everyday.” That seemed plausible…But why did he feel he was missing something obvious?

“Um…Yes.” Sakura shrugged. What was he going to do? Believe she was her grandmother? “That’s exactly what she said to me when I was young. She used to hunt and cook for me and I take improv classes so I got into character thinking of the past. My bad!” She giggled loudly and twirled her hair. “Whoopsie!” She gave a stupid wink. _That’s it! It’s too late for me to act cool. The only way out is to act stupid!_ “Welll, since you know grandmother, maybe we can be friends? Or are you after Sasuke? I noticed you kept staring at him~” Sakura hurried to push the plot along. Once Sasuke got bitten, she’d figure out a way to help her boys out without sacrificing them to the snake guy. The mission said Sasuke would leave the village on his own, so that meaned he wouldn’t get kidnapped here anyway. But for some reason, Orochimaru kept stalling! 

“He’s staring at you, Sakura.” Sasuke deadpanned.

“I am interested in the Uchiha, but plans change, dear.” Orochimaru followed up.

Meanwhile the System was having a panic attack: [RED FLAG! I knew something would go wrong with you! I sense changes in the world piling up — Be careful, Host! There are still ways to change the Akatsuki’s ways, but now my superiors are alerting me to plot changes. They can’t interfere so we’re on our own. Oh dear, my points are in danger…]

_Hey! I followed your directions and got the two guys to meet so don’t blame me! And what the hell — forget your stupid points, my sanity’s in danger! What do you mean we’re on our own?! No more clues or missions to follow? This is poorly structured, System!_

[Nothing in life is certain, Host…And we’re not really a top priority. I am a baby System after all…sniffle. We’re more like compasses, but we don’t call the shots. So if there are too many changes, we either get different missions as hints or we are strictly on our own and need to take initiative. It seems talking with you has triggered Orochimaru and the following events will be gravely different. Watch your back! The only thing I can help you with is tell you when we succeed in the final mission of this world so you can leave after.]

_Worthless! What kind of inefficient system is in charge?! Ugh stupid snake man! Stick to the plot!_

Sakura glared at Orochimaru as she prepared for an attack. Now that the sannin wasn’t going to follow the script, she had to get serious. “What are you planning with us?!” She yelled as she forced the plot to go on. Since he didn’t seem to acknoledge Sasuke, she’d make him! “Is it for his Uchiha bloodline? He’s the only one here with one!”

“Fufu. No, no. I seem to have found something better. Let’s try a little experiment.” Orochimaru smiled then dashed forward with hands out — aimed for her neck!

“Hey!” Sakura swore as she barely dodged thanks to her powerful sixth sense — the same sense that urged her when to leave stocks behind or get out of work early. Even so, she could feel his fingers around her neck press on her skin before she ducked. _I thought he wanted to bite Sasuke! Explain, System!_

[Don’t blame me! It seems this world has been truly bugged]

_I feel like you’re using that as an excuse for everything!_

[W-Whaaa? No! N-Nonsense. Watch out, his head is coming back!]

The System warned as Orochimaru’s neck extend like a rope and swerved to bite her from the other side. With another curse, Sakura blocked his face with a kunai, but he dodged. “The fuck! Are you made of noodles?! Put your head back spaghetti-o! It’s disturbing!”

“Hmm. Not bad for a genin.” Then he turned serious and looked to the side, not minding Sakura backing away from him. “Kabuto. Leave the girl to me. Don’t kill the boysss — they are very useful.” Orochimaru ordered.

“Understood.” Kabuto nodded and charged at the boys — they dodged and jumped back into the distance while Sakura separated from them and faced the Sannin. Divide and Conquer could go both ways! 

System: [Says the genin who only focused on money. How are you going to get out of this now?]

_Hey! I have an idea! I was this kid’s big sis for three years after all! But still! Speaking of this, I never got to complain about that mission! The poor boy I had to disappear from after years— it’s your fault he’s like this! You fucking talking failing plot! Do you systems understand how much of a mind fuck those dreams were for a teenager? One day, you’re dreaming of hot vampires and then the next moment you’re stuck in a dream mission and told to live there for three years. Then you wake up and you still have to deal with finals the next day! If I didn’t have great memory, I’d have to repeat that school year! You owe me!_

[*Cough* I get it! I do feel bad, but it couldn’t be helped. You are the only psycho — erm, genius we could find so close by! Besides, you were saying you had a plan for your little brother?] The System tried to push all responsibility to the side and went back to topic. The more it stayed with the Host, the more it picked up her bad habits. The child System was getting corrupted!

_Tch. Fine, ignore me! Yeah, I hope the psycho still has some sanity in there or I might as well just bomb the whole forest. Maybe then it’ll put back sense in this ‘brother’ of mine. I have enough stored in my scrolls…_

[You’re not the villain here! Stop it! The forest would just be on fire!]

_Yeah, yeah. You know this is unpaid work!_

Focusing on her battle, Sakura said, “Come on, stranger I’ve never met before! You wanted to talk? Then let me beat you up first!” She made sure that the captured genin were gone from the scene before she got into battle stance. _How else do I raise the odds of survival? He said he wouldn’t hurt the boys, but what about me? Where are all the anbu guards?! Having a legendary snake sannin as an enemy can’t be fair! Either they’re all dead or there’s a decoy. Maybe a way to hide our presence. Damn, I wish I made a giant speaker and just yell, “ENEMY YOU SOMEHOW MISSED IS HERE”!_

“Worried, my dear? Do not fear. I do not plan on killing you. I just need you to come with me. You don’t seem as power hungry as the Uchiha so I’ll have to change tactics.” He jumped forward and once more Sakura only just barely dodged while launching a scroll out. Instantly dozens of kunai and third-rate swords shot out of the scroll and Orochimaru dodged each one!

“Hey! It’s illegal to kidnap young maidens! Don’t you have sannin work to do?!” Sakura yelled before summoning another scroll and two Sakuras came out of it. Once more, the fire-wind sword duo clones stood on the field. _Shit. I have to buy time until I think of something!_

Orochimaru merely chuckled. “How creative, but not enough. Come on, show me what you can do. I do not wish to be disappointed.” She may look, act and have the same spirit as Elder Sister, but will she be as strong? He had to test this vessel. Despite his words, a sense of nostalgia filled his heart.

The two clones dashed forward, propelled by perfectly controlled chakra in their feet, and immediately twirled their swords to create fans of flames that grew ten times in sizes as they were powered up by the twirling sword of wind. While they provided cover, as she doubted that was enough to harm a legend, she summoned another two clones and performed a jutsu and sank into the earth as Kakashi did during training. By the time the flames were gone, Sakura and her clone sunk into the ground while her other clone took her place above ground. 

Orochimaru took out a sword and dispatched of the two clones with a swipe of his sword. They poofed away in a couple bursts of smoke and he ran through the wall of red flames without effort. He smirked as he instanly realized the two faint chakra signatures — one above and below…And the one above looked too clean. By now, the genin would all have a few scratches or dirt on their clothes from fighting. So he cut off the clone’s head without hesitation and said, “Come on out, Sakura! Or I’ll come to youuuu!”

He laughed as he clenched a fist and shattered the ground. He may not be at Tsunade’s strength, but a sannin had to do this much with his bare power or what kind of shinobi was he?

Instead of seeing Sakura revealed by the shattered earth, however, smoke only billowed in his face and the perfectly hidden original Sakura popped out of the earth behind him, kunai swiping —

With a smirk of her own, she immediately recalled the human anatomy and chakra points of the medical books she studied…and a thrill burst through her. She could finally test out her theory! In a flurry of motions that even Orochimaru couldn’t see, she had her kunai cut his tendons and barely managed to stick five needles in certain chakra points before she had to dodge hsi sword and leaped back several feet.

Sakura’s green eyes glittered as she watched the legendary sannin limp and his right arm drooped down as the sword fell to the ground. However, the sannin didn’t look as angry as she thought he would? “Why are you smiling, kidnapper?” Did she traumatize him so much as a kid that he developed strange habits? Even though it wasn’t her fault, she still felt a bit of guilt.

Orochimaru grinned wide as he laughed like a mad man. “I underestimated you, Sakura! You definitely are your grandmother’s blood! Hahaha! You aren’t as strong physically, but you do have her mind. Although I love this idea. I haven’t had my chakra points so accurately disabled before! Why didn’t I think of this?” Like a scientist who just had a new epiphany, he scrutinized his right arm that lost all feeling and the slashes on his ankles. “It’s too bad. If you had more strength, the damage would have been greater and I would have fallen to the ground. I’ll need to put more muscle on you before I take over your body.”

“Creeper say what!” Sakura squeaked. At first she felt proud her theory worked, but now she just had a bad feeling that she just gave this lunatic more experimental ideas. The irony of having raised a little bro who ended up becoming a mad scientist like her parents wasn’t lost on her. But the most distrubing thing was…“What do you mean take over my body?!” 

As soon as she screamed that, Naruto and Sasuke looked over and stared at the sannin in disgust. 

Orochimaru sighed. It seemed the message was taken the wrong way… He clarified, “Not like that.”

“Pervert!” Sakura didn’t listen as usual and took out a giant scroll — once more a storm of knives and swords flew out toward the sannin…except what were dozens became hundreds — he couldn’t dodge all of them and had to block what he could with his sword.

Sasuke couldn’t help but say, “I never gave her that many swords.”

Naruto replied, “Seems she negotiated with businesses by buying in bulk after we got paid. Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Pay attention brats.” Kabuto spoke. He really wanted to kill them and get it over with, but his master had plans…even if he was ruining his own plans. He shook his head.

While Sakura dealt with her traumatized and creepy ‘brother’, Naruto and Sasuke were busy dealing with Kabuto. The three eyed the the other warily. Finally Naruto couldn’t take the silence and confusion and he screamed, “What do you want with Sakura?! What does that guy mean by take over her body?”

But he still hated brats who ruined his plans. So Kabuto sneered, “Of course she’s just another vessel. But not to worry, my master loses interest very easily. Once Orochimaru is done with your dear weak Sakura, I will rip her limb from limb and send her to you in a box.” He was still pissed off at Sakura. 

The boys’ eyes darkened and Naruto’s rage flowed through him. “Sakura is not weak.” 

Sasuke activated his Sharingan and growled, “And we’ll be the ones tearing you apart.”

Unbeknowest to him, a bit of his demonic chakra flared up and in the distance, a certain sand genin’s demon reacted. The sand trio were just about to enter the tower with two scrolls when Gaara froze suddenly as if listening to the air. 

Temari and Kankuro looked at each other fearfully. There was only one thing that made him act like this and they subtly backed away in case he went beserk. He was speaking to it. 

Gaara listend to his mother, as he called the voice within. Soon, he sensed an unusual yet familiar chakra flare in the distance again. It’s power reminded him of Shukaku…and he almost dropped the scrolls. Immediately, he said, “Stay here. Do not lose the scrolls. I’ll be back.” And he disappeared in a whirl of sand.

His siblings stared at the scrolls then after Gaara’s fleeing back — and ran straight after him. Scary or not, orders or not, they couldn’t just leave him alone!

And so the sand trio started to make their way to Sakura’s location…further messing the System’s plans up….

Back where Sakura was, the situation didn’t look too good. While she grew more tired, the sannin barely broke a sweat! She really wished she invented a way to communicate with other anbu or send a message fast. Stupid era didn’t have phones!

Meanwhile, the sannin was praising the young woman. The more Orochimaru fought against the pinkette, the more unnerved he became. Her green eyes that sparkled in the heat of battle, that shameless attitude and even her aggressive fighting movements all were reminiscent of his elder sister. Once again, he couldn’t help but feel like he was back in the quiet village full of happiness. She wasn’t just similar to the woman he knew, she was like an exact carbon copy! This defied all of his scientific research! Could two separate generations look the same as twins?

He put pressure on his heel and darted closer, swiping a kunai just a tiny bit against her cheek — red blood flowed. “You’re not reanimated. A lab clone? No, that technology doesn’t exist yet…” Heavens knew he would know. As one of his many obsessions, he scoured every country for knowledge and there was certainly nobody making clones besides him.

So what did that make this girl? She was the exact copy of his past reborn. For the first time in a long time, the snake sannin had no idea what to make of something. No likely theories came to mind except…time travel? But that was impossible…Or was it?

Sakura interrupted his thoughts with a roar and threw out her scroll right on top of Orochimaru and said, “Release!” Immediately three other Sakuras poofed into existence right above him and perfectly timed with their fall, they held out the flaming swords in their hands and screamed, “SHANAROOOO!!” 

Before their swords could pierce skin, the sannin instantly teleported away with a smile. “Ah, ssso close! Well done, that was perfectly timed, my dear. It iss quite sad that I am faster than you.” And he showed up right behind the real Sakura’s back.

The kunoichi felt a chill down her spine as she ducked instinctively and saw his mouth about to bite where her neck would be. “Damn it!” She yelled before jumping away. 

Sasuke and Naruto yelled her name, but soon became preoccupied by Kabuto’s unrelenting attacks. 

Orochimaru just watched her curiously as she grimaced at him. Ludicrous theories of time travel aside, her chakra control was simply perfect. _I can’t leave her alone like this._ He called out to her, “I can give you much power. Just become my vessel and we will take over the shinobi world. Wouldn’t you like that?” This way she’ll never be separated from him. Once more, madness loomed in his eyes as he recalled the day his elder sister disappeared from the face of the earth.

Sakura pursed her lips as she took in Orochimaru’s crazed fan look and cracked her knuckles in her fist. Basically he just wanted her body because she looked like the big sis he knew? Fuck that, but she couldn’t blame him. True to her narcisstic self, she took it in stride to have such a powerful ‘fan’ and said with a self-pitying sigh, “Yeah, I can understand your longing, but now I’m obligated to beat the shit out of you. If I were my, um, grandmother, then I would need to discipline my baby brother who went astray. Becoming a high-powered fan-stalker sis-con? What happened to your dignity?!” 

She had an obligation as his elder sister to make sure to smack the yandere stalker out of him! And it was her responsibility to help him. He may have been a brother in her dream, but it was only in her dreams that she had a family. So mission or not, these kids were her responsibility. Without hesitation, she was prepared to pull out all the works when she noticed a ball of sand forming above them and she stopped. Orochimaru noticed her gaze and frowned.

_Hm? Was this part of the plot, System?_

[Sigh. No. There is no plot anymore. Everything is ruined! How are the Chuunin exams supposed to proceed like this?!]

A red-haired boy came out of nowhere in a whirl of sand and dropped in the center of the battlefield.

……………….

……………………

While Team Seven faced Orochimaru and Kabuto, two curious pairs of eyes watched from the shadows. They spoke quietly at the same time, 

“That girl —“

“The pinky —“

Itachi and Kisame glanced at each other a bit surprised. Before they could question each other, Gaara showed up at the scene — and the tension rose. 

Gaara was about to call out to Naruto before he realized Orochimaru and his eyes widened. “You.”

Orochimaru frowned, “None of my plans are working out today. Well, that is my fault I suppose…” He looked back at Sakura with a smile. “But I will have you, my dear. That is non-negotiable. Unluckily for you, I can’t meet your grandmother, but you’ll do just as fine.” His smile went from creepy to cold in two seconds. It was a smile she knew well.

Sakura only had one thought —

_I should have figured nothing would go right. Who knew the past would bite me this hard in the ass. So much for an easy promotion._

System: [Why are you my Host?]

_That’s what I wanna know!_

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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Ohayoooo!!!

And so another chap! Sorry for the wait, got swamped with school.

How are you? Anybody excited for Mandalorian or Halloween? I’m just gonna buy myself a moutain of chocolate and bathe in it. Okay, maybe not bathe…but I’m not losing weight this month. 

How on earth did Sakura do missions when she didn’t even know basic jutsus in her dreams? Easy! The dreams were tutorials so they gave her amped up powers (within reason) depending on the scenario. Of course, even in her younger days, Sakura loved to mess with things. Haha!

Anyway, I’ll try my best to upload later this week or early next and see you then! Please review and send me karma points! (I barely passed my driving permit test. I’m the oldest person getting their permit, dear gods. I miss being within walking distance to everything. Sob!).

Toodeloo,

WitchySkies

P.S. Hope y’all doing well and stay safe out there.

P.S.S. And listen to lo-fi while wearing giant headphones. Feels like you’re in an anime.


	11. Chapter Eleven: “Invasions Are Messy Business”

**Chapter Eleven: “Invasions Are Messy Business”**

Sakura: “This is why you gotta leave large-scale invasions to the professionals. Move over, bro. The Pink Menace is here! Now, I don’t like to kill off people, but that was what sleeping pills are for! I charge $30,000 for a small scale invasion that involves kicking out the residents to move next door. If you expect me to take down a tyrant, I charge $50,000 on top of that, but I’ll throw in a free villainous monologue!”  
—Who Said It Was Easy To Be Evil? **“This is what happens when nice girls go bad. Life iss a cruel boss to please so just please yourself! (System: Within Reason).”**

**System: Stop! You’re not supposed to take over anything! And Orochimaru is gonna kill the hokage! Don’t help him — No, wait, it was part of the original plot so maybe? Oh, but no, my host will become evil — HISSS. [SYSTEM OVERLOAD].**

**Sakura: No worries! I’m a fucking goddess so I’ll provide healthcare to my evil minions! Besides, didn’t the hokages all across this timeline order off a bunch of assassinations using kids? Even I knew Konoha had a bloody history. Ugh, but I can’t let the village get invaded…my customers will get hurt…**

**System: Morals! Are there no morals in future Konoha?!**

**Naruto: You guys talking about Future Konoha? Oh! Are there messenger birds that can travel super fast like the fastest ninja? Ooh! Or are there moving artworks of Icha Icha Paradise painted?!**

**Sasuke: Dobe! Obviously there are advanced forms of shinobi arts and tamed animals to beat walking. Everyone in the future must be using highly sophisticated horses and using wind seals to —**

**Sakura: Damn. I wonder how they’d react at seeing a mega city for the first time. Or, ya know, a damn car. Now I understand why imagination is revered as the most important part of progress. Hey Naruto — Think cell phones, hentai movies and virtual reality. Sasuke — Imagine robots, neural hard drives to plant in your brain and flying cars.**

**Naruto and Sasuke: ?? What’s a car, robot, movie and phone? And what does a movie have to do with Icha Icha?**

**Sakura: *Evil Grin* Wellll, in the movies, you don’t just look at drawings of —**

**System: Sakura! Don’t you dare! Shut up!! None of you are old enough in this chapter!**

**Sakura: Tch. Way to break the 4th wall. You’re a Baby System. How do you know what goes on in those movies?**

**System: … Well, on to the chapter!**

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……………………….

Gaara frowned at the sight of sannin. _What was Orochimaru doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be with the Kazekage? It couldn’t be time for the invasion._ Uncertain of how to act, he simply nodded towards the sannin. “You…are that legendary sannin.” 

“Yes, I am. Now, what is a cute little suna genin doing here?” Orochimaru smiled, but his peeved tone was enough to send chills down his spine. Gaara may be powerful, but the snake sannin was another level in every aspect. And insane. 

“I…I sensed something familiar. I must be mistaken —“

“How am I supposed to let you go and not the others, hmm, little sssuna? Have you thought about my feelings?” Orochimaru’s neck extended until his head reached the front of Gaara’s sweaty face. “Wouldn’t that be sssstrange? What am I to do with you…Intruder?”

Gaara took a step back. He hated it, but the power behind the sannin was pressuring him. _He means, if I leave now in one piece, it’d suggest he has something to do with my village. I was told he hates having his plans disrupted. Shit._ “I…” By instinct, the boy felt the need to protect himself and sand slowly rose in the air, ready to block everything. 

Before either of them could make a move, Sakura yelled, “Leave him alone! Your battle is with me, isn’t it? _Old man._ ” She said the first thing she could to try to provoke the sannin to focus back on her, but surprisingly, Orochimaru…

Laughed. “Kekeke! Old man? Ha! Says the girl who looks like her grandmother! Keke! I like you. I’ll keep you well maintained.” His eyes shone as his head snapped back to his body and Sakura fought the urge to take out scissors to cut that laffy taffy neck. 

“I think it’s an honor to look like her. I heard she was a legendary beauty with tons of lovers.” She flipped her hair back expecting Orochimaru to agree. After all, sweet young Orochimaru would definitely agree that his big sister was beautiful!

But instead, the man’s face darkened with rage. “What. My sister had what? Now that I think about it…Who is your grandfather!!” Instantly, he shoved his hand around her neck and held her high above the ground. “Who dares lay their hands on Elder Sister?” 

“Gh!” Sakura kicked her feet and tried to pull at his hand, but he was stronger than her. It was like trying to pry apart pincers made of steel! Fuck. She forgot he was psycho yandere now! “C-Can’t…talk…no air…!” _Shit, if I die here, would that make it amazing I had completed no mission whatsoever? Or was it terrible that my little angelic bro was the one who would grow up to kill me? I was a failure as a parent!_

System: [You mean sister.]

_Same thing!_

Naruto and Sasuke roared as they both instinctively coordinated to throw their kunai at the distracted Kabuto and run towards her, “Sakura!!”

Before the boys could reach her, Orochimaru sent out a flurry of needles and the boys had to dodge. He loosened his grip on Sakura’s neck and said, “Sorry, little Sakura. My anger got the best of me. Now…” He glared. “Who is your grandfather and is he still alive?”

Alarms rang in her mind. _Ugh, my psycho stalker senses are tingling! Even if I had a living grandfather, would he still stay alive after this? Obviously not!_ “He’s already dead. I never really knew him as my grandmother was the only one I met. Sorry, I’m bad at family history.” She sniffled and proceeded to cry like a soap opera. “My parents are dead and my grandmother is gone and now this perverted old man wants my body…ohh…this cruel world…”

“It. Is. Not. Like. That!” Orochimaru snarled and dropped the girl to the floor. “How perverted are you? It must be Icha Icha’s fault. That damn Jiraiya is corrupting the youth! I knew I should have killed him!”

While he was distracted, she caught Gaara’s eye in secret and winked. Mouthing her words, she said, ‘Go. Now. Call. Help.’

Surprised, Gaara blinked at her than also caught Kabuto’s eye watching them. He gulped and nodded at the silver-haired shinobi before leaving quietly. _One of these three have the strange chakra…it must be the blonde or the pink one as it isn’t the Uchiha for sure. The Kazekage is going to be angry if I ruined his plans. That stupid girl doesn’t know she’s helping her enemy. Gaara’s dark thoughts overtook him as he ran away, but deep down he was astonished._

 _…She tried to help me. She wasn’t afraid of me._ Gaara shook his head. That didn’t matter — it would soon be time for Konoha to fall and she will just be another target. Yes, a target…So why did his chest feel heavy?

While Gaara was having his puberty — erm, internal crisis, Naruto summoned his shadow clone army to surround and punch the sannin and when Orochimaru simply destroyed each one with single hits, Sasuke launched a large fireball from his mouth before using Sakura’s newly made seal to amplify its power. Even the sannin was surprised at the exponential change. What would have been a simple fireball turned into a roaring blaze and the sannin had to evade.

While he leaped back, one of Naruto’s shadown clones managed to grab onto Sakura’s body and carry her away. 

Sakura blinked in surprise. For the first time in her life, she was princess-carried! 

System: [Focus! Orochimaru isn’t going to bite Sasuke, he’s going to kill him now!]

Sure enough, an enraged sannin was about to go beast mode on the teenage prodigy and Sakura immediately leaped out of Naruto’s arms. She ran as she screamed, “HEY!!!” 

Oh, right. The kunoichi shook her head and thought about her mission. Get Sasuke to get bitten and leave the village later. But if he got bitten and tasted dark power, he’d be cursed and she’d neglect her promise to him to treat him as family. 

Between her mission or her feelings, what should she do? Failure in the mission would change the plot and if she ever got out of this world, the next one might become harder…or worse, she’d have to live as a nun! So the answer was obvious.

Fuck the system. She had a pseudo-brother to save. Her life was a living hell anyway, so what more could be done to her? The system needed her or it wouldn’t have mentioned other worlds. _There must be a lot of worlds to fix whether I fail or succeed. Heheh. As long as I save Konoha, then my mission will be complete overall. No matter what, I’ll do as I like!_

There was no help coming (unless that prick redhead called for help, but she saw the boy nod at the other white-haired pervert). The opponent was a legend and more powerful than the three of them combined. And he was her little brother in another past who happened to be a traumatized prodigy. How the fuck were they supposed to win?

Sakura Survival Living 101: Rule 25 or 34: If you can’t beat ‘em up, postpone and attack in secret later. Even if it means taking a small hit now to send a long due beat ass later!

So she did.

She screamed and the men all looked at her incredulously. “Orochimaru! You bratty old man! You wanted my body right? How about we make a deal?” In the original plot, Sasuke would run away later after getting bitten so that meant Orochimaru wouldn’t mind his vessel staying and choosing to follow after. He gave an illussion of free will for some reason. She could use that info. 

Instantly, the sannin cooled down and his face brightened. “So you have considered my offer. Finally.”

Sasuke yelled, “Don’t do it!”

Naruto tried to run after her to hold her down, “You can’t listen to him, Sakura-chan!”

But Sakura dodged and jumped right in front of the sannin. She smiled like a innocent little girl who was to sacrifice her life for her friends. She cried a crocodile tear and pouted. “I’ll let you place your mark on me if you let me stay at the village for a while longer. I can’t go with you yet.”

“Oh? And why shouldn’t I just take you away now?”

Sakura suddenly stopped crying and stared into his eyes, “Don’t you want to know what happened to my grandmother? Bite me, let me stay until I am ready to leave, then I will tell you all of what she told me. But force me away and I’m not afraid to die. I am a kunoichi!” With a (fake) brave face, she took out her secret seal and said, “Once triggered, I’ll blow up this entire forest! Don’t think I won’t!”

The two glared at each other until the sannin smirked. “Such an interesting brain you have. So many ideas in hiding. Just like your grandmother.” His neck extended… “You have a deal. But don’t make me wait too long or I’ll have to come. Well, provided Konoha still is one piece. I’m positive you’ll come looking for me then.” 

Without waiting for her reply, the sannin bit her and Sasuke’s cursed mark transmitted to her. Immediately pain flooded her body as Orochimaru laughed and started to walk away. 

“Keke. Little Sakura. I know you’ll live. You must if you have her spirit. Now…see you soon dear.” And with that, the sannin left with Kabuto in tow as her team ran to her side. 

Naruto tried to find what was wrong, but all he could do was stare at the growing black mark on her neck. Sasuke could only tremble in rage. Helpless.

 _This fucker! Was he insane? He’s willing to risk my life just because I put on a brave face? Shitty egotistical ninja of the stupid dark ages. You’re right! Once I recover, I’m going to stick a fucking pole up your_ — She screamed in pain as currents of chakra ravaged her body, “Ahhhh!” 

And the System blared alarms in her head: [Host! The seal isn’t compatible! Body is rejecting foreign chakra. Requesting emergency —]

 _ **Don’t bother.** _A dark voice from within her rose. A voice she hadn’t heard in ages since her youth. It was the voice of her only friend back then. Her imaginary friend and alter ego. _**Stupid chakra, stupid ninja. What will of fire? No one has a will of fire that matches ours. Isn’t that rght, Sakura?**_

Before she blacked out, Sakura’s last thought was:

_Yes…Inner Me…_

Let me deal with this mess. When we see Orochimaru, that little brat, I’ll discipline him for us. You are too nice, Me.

A surge of strength flooded her veins and the system couldn’t understand where the energy came from. It wasn’t from her chakra channels. What was that voice? Was it still its host?

And for a brief second, the system froze. It felt…eyes…on her. An unseeable force was threatening invisible entity. Impossible!

Then suddenly, a foreign voice entered the System’s consciousness. A deeper version of its host’s voice said, _**“Don’t interfere.”**_

And for the first time the System felt fear. […Impossible!]

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In the meantime, two Akatsuki members have a heart to heart while hidden away in the darkness of the forest undetected. They watched as the girl collapsed, but then calmed down in record time. It was improbable. A genin forced to endure the cursed mark went from screaming in pain to peaceful slumber instantly. If it weren’t for her chest rising with each breath, they’d assume she was dead. Instantaneous pain relief maybe? It was a feat for such a young girl.

Itachi knew about Orochimaru’s obsession with the Uchiha power, but he’d never thought he’d see the day when the man would give it up for a simple kunoichi. If that weren’t enough surprise, even Kisame acted strange. Of course, Itachi couldn’t talk. 

Kisame looked down at the solemn face of Itachi and said, “We need to talk. Somehow the two of us recognize the girl named Sakura, but the Sakura I know is from years ago. It should be impossible to see her clone here and now. To top it off, Orochimaru swore to have seen such a lookalike in his youth as well. We’re all different ages so this is a mystery. Now your turn to talk, partner.” His giant figure loomed over the silent man, but he knew nothing could intimidate any secrets from the Uchiha so he continued, “On good faith of our partnership, how do you know Sakura? I saw your reactions to her presence.”

Itachi gazed up into Kisame’s eyes and sighed. “It’s a long story. A story that will have to be told on our way back to base. We’ve lingered too long here and Orochimaru will start his chaotic plans. I’m not sure which it is this time, but nothing goes right with him. It’ll be hard to keep quiet during the chaos if we stay. I also need time to sort the information.”

“Aren’t you worried about your bro? I know you wanted to see your brother again, but there’s no time, huh.” Itachi could have hid it better, but the man liked to torment his brother. However, he never killed him.

“He’ll be fine or he’s not an Uchiha. He can handle an invasion. We’ll return soon. This Sakura Haruno knows something. I can feel it.” Itachi thought back to the teenager who tried to protect him as a child. It was a brief time, but nothing could take away her influence in his memories. He whispered, “You, Orochimaru and I all have one common secret it seems — the girl named Sakura Haruno. But there is one problem. Even if time travel existed, the one I met when I was a young boy shouldn’t exist. Because…”

He looked towards the sky. “I saw her die as she turned to ashes.”

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** AUTHOR NOTE:  **

Heya! Sorry it’s late. Got swamped with work and school etc. Trying to get classes done faster. 

Hope you enjoy this latest chapter! And as always, please leave a review and eat mochi!

Inner sakura finally comes into play and Itachi will be back no worries. There’s still an exam and invasion to face. And willl Gaara grow a conscience?!

FYI, it’s been ages since I watched this arc, so forgive the off details. 

Now then, good luck and stay safe everyone! One of my family got sick, but she’s the healthiest and fittest of us all so I know she’ll pull through. She has to.

Sorry, that was a downer. Anyway, please stay safe. Idk, heard vaccines will come next year I think. Let’s be strong like Sakura and tame the inner Sasukes in our hearts hahaha

Much love,

WitchySkies

P.S. Not to worry anyone sorry. 

P.S.S. College is a battlefield.

P.S..S.s.s..s>SS>S. I wanna eat crepes in Tokyo. So I hope I dream that. If only I could control my dreams in depth and imagine a reverse harem…*cough* 

What would you rather dream of if you could enter sleep mode like a VR game with feeling in high def?

Loves! Ciao ciao!


	12. Chapter Twelve: “Resolve of Team Seven”

**Chapter Twelve: “Resolve of Team Seven”**

Sakura: “A lady needs a break from fighting sometimes. If I bunk with you, Orochimaru, do you offer spas and vacation time? I’ll tell you a funny story about Grandmother if you do~”  
—On Bribing a Siscon With Secrets of Your Past Self **“When negotiating, never reveal all of your cards. If the sannin ever found out about other worlds, who knew what’d he do?!”**

**System: You better not tell him about me! I don’t like being experimented on.**

**Sakura: How would he even see you, huh? And like I would ever! Last thing I want is Stalker Bro to act like my old evil bosses and ruin my dates.**

**System: Once more, your twisted priorities astound me.**

**Naruto and Sasuke: Someone understands. She would be better off at home being a merchant. This way, she won’t chase hot guys during work hours.**

**Kakashi: I don’t think that’d stop her. *Sees an alternate version of Civilian Merchant Sakura attempting to bribe him with discounts to come visit her***

**Jiraiya: I think I gained a new protege!**

**Tsunade: Get your own student!**

**Naruto: I’m starting to feel pressure about my main character role. Sakura’s stealing all of my titles — Trouble-Maker, Energetic Hypermode Ninja, Idiot, and now my Pervert Apprentice title is being taken! Boo hoo.**

**Sakura: Hey. Keep two of your titles. *Crack knuckles* I’m no apprentice! I’m the KING!**

**Naruto: Eeek! You’re smart, you’re smart! *Hides behind Sasuke***

**Sasuke: Don’t bother me. *Accidentally trips and kisses Naruto***

**Sakura who planned the moment after hearing gossip about the Academy days…: *Snaps* *Giggle* Yesss…This photo will make me millions…*Runs away to Ino’s shop before pic gets destroyed***

**Naruto and Sasuke: COME BACK HERE PERVERT APPRENTICE!!!**

**Meanwhile, Tsunade and Orochimaru look on with soulless eyes. Then they turn toward Jiraiya with bloodlust: You…You’re the reason the youth are corrupted!**

**Jiraiya: *Left Konoha***

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A dull pain pulsed in the back of her head and her face felt like it was caught in a vice grip while something wet dripped on her mouth. Salty. Her lips were covered in the mysterious sloppy substance. With an innate fear for her digestive system, Sakura’s eyes shot open to target her rage at whatever was crushing her face. 

In front of her was Naruto’s face hovering over hers, squeezing her cheeks together with both palms as he cried — and she drank his tears the whole time! Disgusted, Sakura temperamentally roared as she sat up and banged Naruto’s forehead with her own in the process. “Dobe! Don’t put your snotty tears down my throat! ACK!!” 

Why was it always Naruto shoving disgusting scents/tastes in her face whenever she woke up? Last time was ramen breath, now it was big snotty tears she really didn’t want to think about. Anime always made it looks so romantic when some hero cried over the heroine, but reality was a slap to the kdrama fantasy! Just thinking about her missed shows from the future made her want to cry.

“SAKURAAAA!!!” Naruto wailed as he ignored his swelling forehead and hugged Sakura to death. “I thought you died!!” 

Sasuke shook his head as he bent down next to the clueless kunoichi and analyzed her face. “You’re really fine. That’s good.” The proud Uchiha looked away, but his fidgety brow gave him away. “This way we can complete the mission safely.”

“Hey Teme! Just admit you got worried!”

“Shut up Dobe. She’s a kunoichi. Death is always at our door. Why would I be worried?”

Sakura observed her bickering teammates before she remembered what happened. Orochimaru placed the cursed seal on her, left her alone to deal with the pain with full confidence she’d succeed because she was some invincible kid with good genes (apparently from her ‘grandmother’), and then her other self decided to take the damage. _Fantastic. Lemme grab a tequila. I need to relax. Ugh. How am I supposed to live with snooty lil Orochimaru later? I’ll find a loophole somehow._

Focusing back on her teammates, she smiled at their genuine care and wished they could stay this innocent forever. “Hey guys, how long was I out?” The ultra-confident pink menace was already sure her alter ego took care of the mental damage and seal issues. She was used to it. When she was raised in the lab, Inner Sakura manifested from her need to cope with the experiments and eventually the other self became her secret strength. When it came to physical things and society, Sakura was in charge. But if anything tried to penetrate her mind, Inner Sakura was the god in that realm. If Sasuke ever tried to cross her line back when he used his bloodline, he would have been quite surprised.

Sasuke replied with an eerie calm, “One hour. You recover fast.” 

“Uh, yes? Anyway…” Sakura eyed the Uchiha and figured he must be butt-hurt over his loss to the sannin so she decided to let him work it out by giving him space, “I’m fine. See? No big wounds! And head’s clear now.”

“Yeah, but we couldn’t do anything! You looked like you were in a lot of pain and it suddenly stopped. Did you use some healing scroll or something? I don’t know if that was a thing, but if it’s you…”

Sakura’s eyes lit up at the idea of a new invention. “Heyyy, if it doesn’t exist, then I can work on it! Oooh~”

“Sakura! Can we focus on the fact that you were almost killed? Please don’t risk your life like for us!”

Sasuke frowned, “Naruto’s right. Even if we are prepared for death, you shouldn’t throw your life away so easily. We are a team.”

Sakura sweated as she waved her hands in surrender under the two glowers and said, “Sorry, sorry! I won’t do it again.” _Except under emergencies._ “I promise.” She flashed them a big smile and the two frowned so hard that they started to look like mini-bulldogs. 

“Haa? Promise? Why do I feel like you just thought of fine print in your head?” Naruto, whose gotten wiser over her antics, accused.

“I’m sure she did. No matter what, you can’t fool us. This won’t happen again, Sakura.” Sasuke growled. “I won’t be so weak again.”

Not liking how her watchdogs — erm, teammates — started to catch on to her, she quickly distracted them, “Uh, we were up against a legendary sannin with a ton of kidnapping experience I assume. Don’t beat yourself up. We’re still genin. On that note, shouldn’t we finish this exam?”

The two glared at her longer before succumbing to her poor tactic at changing convo and sighed. Sasuke said, “Yes. When we become chuunin, we will have more opportunities to get advanced missions and strengthen ourselves. Now that we have that snake after you, we can’t be careless. There are a lot of questions I have about that, but that can wait. For now.”

“Ahaha.” Sakura laughed nervously over the threat of interrogation. How to explain her mysterious fake grandmother to people who know her childhood better than her? She barely knew that much of the original Sakura Haruno as she didn’t think it’d get this far. Shit. So she did her usual go-to life strategy and…decided to postpone it. So she focused on the current task on hand and said, “Let’s see…We have to get to the tower and turn in two scrolls. So we gotta beat some ass, get another scroll and avoid getting looted at the tower. Well, good thing I have my futon!” Sakura cheered.

“Uh, Sakura. Aren’t you too excited right now? We just avoided an invasion and Orochimaru basically crashed out exam! And you’re concerned with our promotion?!” Naruto wanted to shake her. “You almost got kidnapped!” The blonde ninja jumped up and down with rage. If he weren’t here, would his reckless teammate chase Orochimaru instead for a bounty? He wouldn’t put it past his money-obsessed friend. 

“Well, I can’t really control what already happened, but I can control on finishing our task. It’s BECAUSE we got barely managed to get taken away by some stalker sannin that I want to make sure we at least finish this damn exam! We came this far so I want to see some good come out of our efforts as a team!” Sakura huffed with Team Seven pride, but secretly added the promotion and raise to her list of reasons.

“She’s right. We can think about what happened later, right now let’s just get this damned exam over with.” Sasuke rubbed his forehead in exasperation. Thanks to chaos of this afternoon, he couldn’t even muster the energy to get excited over the chuunin exams. He was more concerned with why Orochimaru wanted Sakura to be his vessel and how to keep the trouble-making genin safe from herself. “We need to report this to the hokage as soon as possible.”

“Then it’s settled! We got both scrolls so…Chargeeeee!” And with that Sakura ran toward the direction of the tower. The boys ran after her with tired sighs. How the once unconscious teammate ended up leading them with endless stamina and energy was a mystery. 

Naruto wondered if he could still claim his image of the most energetic trouble-making shinobi of Konoha anymore. Looking at the backs of Sakura and Sasuke, he didn’t mind if he lost that title. It didn’t matter — he got what he wanted right in front of him. He was still gonna be Hokage though. Good thing Sakura was lazy and just wanted money or he’d fear the aspiring merchant would be his rival. On the other hand, while he knew Sakura was strong, he didn’t like how reckless she was. She just let that perverted old man put a curse on her! No, he needed to get stronger. Strong enough to protect both of his teammates. How could he become stronger than Sakura-chan?

Meanwhile, Sasuke also stared at Sakura’s back as they dashed through the forest and mixed emotions piled inside him. This was the first time anybody made him feel so angry and helpless that he cared about. The memory of the psychotic snake sannin biting into Sakura’s neck made his blood boil. He was still too weak. For a moment, he could see Itachi’s eyes of ridicule and he gnashed his teeth together. He needed to get stronger. Sakura managed to improve in leaps and bounds in a very short time. How did she do it?

And so, the two teammates came to one conclusion: After this exam, they would train harder than before and stop Sakura from going to Orochimaru. And to do that…both of them had the feeling that Sakura had many more secrets. And that some of them may explain how the frail flower they knew turned into the crazy but strong kunoichi before them.

Sakura was going to have quite an intense study group after this day.

Twenty minutes later, the trio hurried into the tower and soon enough a pale Iruka-Sensei would be sending messages by clones in a panicked frenzy. Only Sakura was smiling away watching the shinobi run his hand through his hair, eyeing his mature looks. “Gee, who knew you’d be in the scroll, Iruka-Sensei! Good thing I didn’t peek in the scroll haha. Although if I knew you were in there, I would definitely never let anyone steal you from me.” She said coyly as she batted her lashes up at him. Naruto and Sasuke rolled their eyes over Sakura’s transformation. 

“Um, that’s good? Well. Since Orochimaru was here, we need to inform the Hokage. Maybe we should have told you guys what were in the scrolls after all if this was going to be the outcome…It’s no use fussing over. We’ll all report to the Hokage immediately.”

The three of them said unanimously, “Yes, Iruka-Sensei.”

And thus, half an hour later, Konoha entered a state of emergency as Team Seven relayed their experiences. The Hokage stared in surprise as they mentioned how Orochimaru wanted to take Sakura away. The problem was that everyone was already here for the exams and the sannin’s interest in Sakura didn’t warrant cancelling the exams. Unless they had hard facts that the sannin planned on something big like an invasion, they could only be cautious. If Konoha were to shut down due to the infiltration of one rogue shinobi, they would be a laughing stock. So much for the strongest nation, the others would say — and that would hurt negotiations and give enemies confidence in threatening their power.

So while the Hokage was dealing with the stress, Sakura and team were sent home for the time being as the exams will continue later. 

For some reason, Sakura noticed Gaara staring at her from afar when the trio walked down the streets to get dinner, but he didn’t approach and eventually left. Huh. Was it a crush?

System: [How you manage to turn a shinobi tale into a corny love story in your delusional mind is a skill only you have, Host.]

_Thank you._

[It wasn’t a compliment.]

_Whatever. Sasuke isn’t going dark and brooding on me and I’m still alive, so there’s good news! I guess fate can be changed, System!_

[If your interference causes Sasuke to not develop the powers he needs to continue the plot, it will be your fault.]

_Plot? What plot? If I stop the Akatsuki, Konoha is saved, no?_

_[_ The Akatsuki aren’t the only enemies. If you stop them, they can be saved. The real battle is against the gods. Oh no. Forget it. It’s not part of your mission. You won’t be here to see it.]

_Hey! I get to say when I leave this world, remember? So cough it up._

[No.]

_Fine! Then I’ll make sure that I won’t follow the plot the way you want me to AND I’ll make Sasuke and Naruto so freaking strong that even the Hokage will have to bow and call them Daddy!_

System: [Oh gods. Stop the strange analogies! The imagery — No! I won’t let myself fall to your level. I will be mature. I will —] And so the poor system had to resort to hypno-therapy to deal with it’s host. 

Of course, while Sakura had this inner argument, she zoned out in reality. And so, the day ended in success as one snickering kunoichi was being psycho-analyzed by two concerned genin. The longer they stayed next to her, the more they felt they had to grow up faster. Someone had to be the adult. 

And Sakura’s mental evaluation fell once more. Ironically, the 28 year old in the body of a teen was being judged as the ‘baby sister’ of the group. If Sakura knew, her last pride as a ‘grown woman’ would have been lost. First, she was stuck in a time period of abstinence surrounded by hot guys. And second, even the teens of this era thought they were more mature than her.

It was just another day in Sakura’s life.

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Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame head toward Akatsuki HQ with many questions.

Kisame asked, “So you’re not gonna tell me how she died?”

Itachi replied, “I want to check something first with the girl first.”

“Then we both want to go back after reporting. Good. Since you don’t feel ready to share with me that information yet, I’ll also hold off until I confirm with the girl. We could be wrong about our hunches.” Kisame said, but he doubted that. The girl was too much alike it was scary.

“Agreed.”

And the two Akatsuki made plans to return — not knowing just how crazy their future days would become. In fact, none of the Akatsuki would be safe, although the two didn’t know it yet. The day the whole Akatsuki would come face to face with the pink menace would go down in history. 

Why did Itachi have a bad feeling things would become troublesome?  
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**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Heya! 

Sorry for the wait! Updating crazy what I have as I try to figure out a routine again. I hope you’re safe and well and eating happy. 

As always, please review and I love hearing what you would do in a VR world. And yesss, crepes away. I wish fanfiction.net had a dang reply button to reviews!

Anyway, keeping it short as I’m sleep-deprived. Loves and kisses and unicorn sketches.

May the Akatsuki enter your dreams,

WitchySkies

P.S. I wish chakra was real. Hello clones. Do my job and pay my bills? I’ll write. Mwahahahaa!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: “Explanations, Confusion and a Filler Episode”

**Chapter Thirteen: “Explanations, Confusion and a Filler Episode”**

Sakura: “Oh great! Fantastico~! Lucky number 13! You know what this means….HALLOWEEN PARTY!! Every deadly mission deserves a hangover — I mean, celebration, kyuu~”  
—On Getting Out of a Hot Mess **“Holy crap, how do I explain time travel? Well it wasn’t, but no one would believe I was dead. Boruto did time travel, but this ain’t Boruto! AGH. Wait, how come my real world didn’t invent time travel yet if some kid with a ‘I hate you Dad’ syndrome gets to visit his dad in the past?”**

**System: Because time travel shouldn’t be allowed. Boruto doesn’t exist yet. Stop breaking the 4th wall!**

**Sakura: Shouldn’t you not exist, talking plot bug?**

**System: Whose the bug?! You’re a bug! Your whole family’s a bug!**

**Sakura: Tell me something I don’t know? You suck at insults. Learn from Sasuke — No, don’t. He couldn’t even talk back to his brother without resorting to fists. Dude needs to live in New York.**

**System: Stop breaking the 4th wall!! New York doesn’t exist here!**

**Sasuke: Hey, Forehead! I am a very cruel and vindictive when I want to be! Itachi just…He’s different!**

**Naruto: Actually Sakura-chan’s right. You only call me bastard or idiot. But what about *CENSORED STRING OF SAILOR SWEARING*?**

**Sakura, Sasuke, System: *Image of innocent Naruto collapses* Oh wow.**

**Sakura: Where did you hang out again, Naruto-kun? And why did you censor us, System! We already swear!**

**System: Shut up fourteen year old! Get back to the story!!**

**Kakashi busy reading Icha Icha in his dressing room: *Sneeze!* I feel like I have to go back to work now. I enjoyed being off-screen. *Sakura breaks down dressing room door and shoves script in face***

**Sakura: One day, I’ll turn this into a Twilight movie between you and me~ *Wink***

**Kakashi: Oh god. What a terrible pick up line. No, what terrible imagery! Don’t make me act like an obnoxious vampire. I’m not Sasuke.**

**Sasuke: HEY! Why is everyone picking on me?! You’re all supposed to fear me!**

**Sakura and Naruto: *Stifles Laugh* *Runs from angry Sasuke* *Kakashi is abandoned again…Pulls out Icha Icha* “The only good thing in the world…”**

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Later on that night, the three hung out at Sasuke’s house turned evil lair. Kakashi stopped by for a chat and mini-celebration, but was busy with the Hokage after so he could only say congrats before being hustled off. The news of Orochimaru attacking his students and leaving them alive must be alarming so he went to get more information while giving his students a needed break. 

And thus, that was how Sakura found herself cornered in the house, being confronted by her protective teammates while the Sensei was off running around the village.

Sakura said, “Hey guys, we got a week to prepare for the competition! Shouldn’t we focus on that?” Things got screwed up because of Orochimaru’s visit so they gave them a little break before the show had to go on. 

Sasuke ignored her as he said, “Stop evading the questions! You know a lot more than you’re leading on.” 

“Doesn’t everyone?” She whistled.

Naruto said, “Yeah, but you’re like worse. That snake guy knew your supposed bad ass grandma and you’re acting shady. You have to tell us how you got stronger! It’s only fair cause we are a team! Or…are we not friends?” Naruto’s eyes watered as he pretended to be aggrieved and Sakura saw through the act. The boy even sniffled as he pouted like a little blonde prince crying in some romance manhwa. She couldn’t help but wonder who taught him to act so shameless? 

Suddenly, Sakura thought of a way out of this conversation. So they wanted to know how she got to learn all these things so fast and become strong enough to get a sannin drooling? Well, that was perfect! It coincided with her plans. With a drawl, she said, “Aaactually, I was about to come tell you guys I will teach you everything -“ (Mostly) “— I know. We will be the strongest Konoha has ever seen!” She fist-pumped in the air dramatically for effect.

The boys frowned as they tried to see what she was trying to pull, as they didn’t believe she was innocently going to just act cooperatively, but before they could guess at her intentions, Sakura quickly added, “Orochimaru is a formidable opponent, bu there’s no way he came just for me. He didn’t even know I exist before he came here! Maybe he came for the Uchiha here, but that panda-cutie seemed to recognize him.”

“Panda?” Naruto asked.

“Oh, the red-head with black eye liner and the power to build smothering sand castles. Gaara I think his name was.”

“Ah! The scary kid! That’s one way to describe him!” Naruto laughed heartily as he clutched his stomach. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “That guy is suuuuper scary, but now he just seems…AHAHAHA!! Panda!” 

Even Sasuke had to stifle a laugh before he glared, “How do you know his name?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Because I remember names? Sometimes it takes me a while because I can’t care, but there ya go. It’s not like there were hundreds of students for the exams. Aren’t you shinobi? Don’t you memorize the names of your rivals or are jutsus the only important things?” She bragged while she picked on them a bit for stopping her from eyeing the hot ninja lately. Well, she guessed she should stop doing that, but hey! A few of those guys were caught looking at the baths earlier so it was fair game! Anwayyyy, this was nothing compared to schmoozing the executives with her memory back in her past life. 

Sasuke just ignored her weak taunts and nodded, “True.” The prodigy didn’t question it. Itachi used to have an abnormal memory as well — He shook his head. He almost could remember when his brother was good. Forcing himself to forget that kind face, he focused back on the present and continued the so-called Interrogation of Sakura. “So? What else are you hiding? You not only lose your memories, suddenly became an inventive seal genius and changed personalities, but now your grandmother is wanted by a legendary sannin who wants to take over your body. I thought your parents were normal.” He smirked at her like he got the upper hand. “Sounds fishy, Sa-ku-ra.”

“They were normal.” Probably. “Just…I guess my grandmother must have had some wild past, huh? Men searching for her everywhere, wow! I want to be just like her when I’m old!” Sakura laughed it off and switched subjects. No way could she explain that the old sannin was trained by her look-alike grandmother that was really modern-day her that hopped worlds. Unless something crazy happens like the Akatsuki chatting with her boys about her, she would milk this grandma lie to the end! Besides, if the two really checked her background, they probably would find out that her grandmother was really a normal civilian or something. Ugh. Headaches. “In any case, we have to make sure Orochimaru’s plans don’t go through. If I were a sannin who dropped by in town secretly during a big competition while probably secretly working with one of the villages here…it’s an invasion, isn’t it?” Sakura concluded. She already knew, but she pretended to logic it out. It wasn’t her best work, but she was getting lazy to keep explaining impossible circumstances.

“No way. The Hokage would have figured it out.” 

“Yeah, but he didn’t know about the way Gaara Panda wasn’t chased down by the pair of powerful perverts. Plus we don’t have proof so they can’t do much but be on guard. He could up security, but there are so many competitors here and only so much shinobi. We need a plan to fuck shit up — I mean, to help protect our home.”

“…” The boys looked at her suspiciously. “You just want to try something evil again, huh.”

Sasuke added with a disappointed sigh, “What’s the business opportunity here?”

“Evil?! And I’m not doing this for sales! I just thought of showing off the power of my seals that could even fight off an invasion just a bit while helping the good citizens of Konoha. Just…a little hand…and using back up…who knew how to fight…” Sakura’s voice started to slow down as the vague idea soon morphed into a terrible idea that was too good not to try! With gleeful eyes, she grabbed Naruto’s hand and leaned in close until their noses touched. “Naruto-kuuun?”

Naruto gulped. “Y-Yes?!” His face flushed red as he tried to keep his cool image. Sakura was so close!

“You have massive amounts of chakra and you do love your clones. I have a proposition for you~” She smiled like an incubus as her lips pulled back to show the pearl of her teeth. Naruto’s heart beat harder. She whispered like a little devil, “All you have to do is lend me your special jutsu for clones to —“

For some reason the poor blonde boy abruptly pulled his hands away and covered his chest. With teary eyes, the shinobi cried out, “No! You mustn’t Sakura-chan! I can’t lend you my sexy no jutsu!! You must protect your body!!”

A cold wind seemed to pass by as Sakura’s jaw dropped. What was this boy on about?!

Sasuke grabbed her wrist with a glare. “The idiot’s right! You can’t! Even if you have weird taste in men and act insane, you can’t run around the village as a naked, busty woman with a bunch of clones!! Even if it can distract the enemy, there has to be a better way! Protect your body!” 

Like scandalized fathers, the two boys started lecturing her on “preservering self-esteem as a kunoichi” and “public nudity is still a crime” and “even if your chest is flat, you can’t make it bigger permanently this way.” The last one came from Naruto, of course.

Sakura roared out angrily as her temper let loose. “GRAHHH!!! SHUT UP YOU PERVS!!!” She smacked the two behind the head hard as she scolded, “I’m not about to go stripping in public! Jeez! I’m a minor and not THAT desperate!!” She wasn’t THAT bad, okay!

The two ignored the pain from her hits and only sighed in relief. Naruto hugged her happily, “Oh thank kami! Yes, grow up properly!”

“Stop acting like my father! You’re my age!” Sakura huffed but seeing the funny sight of the two teenage shinobi frowning at her with fatherly concern put a smile back on her face in an instant. Especially with Sasuke’s face — he rarely showed much emotion beyond anger and scorn. Hehe. She could only shake her head in resignation as she clarified her idea, “Naruto, I need your clones not your sexy no jutsu. For god’s sake! I need your army of clones, perv.”

Naruto’s eyes widened in relief as he hit his fist against his palm in realization. “OHHHH!!!” A blush burned his face pure red as the misunderstanding cleared. 

Sakura arched a brow as she placed her hands on her hips. “You spend way too much time near Kakashi-Sensei if Icha Icha got your mind in the gutter that much. Although your idea of stopping an invasion does sound fun, I won’t offer free fan service.” The imagery of naked Sakuras with huge boobs made a funny sight and Sakura giggled. What the heck did these boys think she had for hobbies?!

“Sasuke made the mistake too…” Naruto mumbled like a little brother trying to get his bro in trouble with him as he stared hard at the floor in embarrassment. “Sorry, Sakura. I got worried.” He moped, but then quickly popped his head up and asked, “Wait. How do my clones help you again? I don’t have that much clones. If I do them during the invasion, I can only summon enough to land hits, but the enemy is stronger than me so I would be useless against so many enemies. If you need me to ambush somebody, it’s different.” Naruto was slowly learning to evaluate his weaknesses, but one day even his weaknesses wouldn’t hold him back!

“You are not useless!” Sakura rolled her eyes while Sasuke pretended he did nothing wrong. She pretended not to notice the red tips of his ears as she pulled out a blank scroll. With a greedy smile, she chirped, “Why, with a bundle sale and a lot of scroll shopping, you could have enough to act as my personal army, Naruto-kun! Sasuke, tab’s on you since this is for the good of the village.”

“You want me to do charity? And there’s a problem. Even if you hide clones of Naruto in there, it wouldn’t be enough to send out a ton of genin against enemies —“

“Don’t worry! I’m going to give each one a bomb!” Sakura did the peace sign as she just admitted to producing mass weaponry. “Got a new formula that should be easy to make and easy to use, hehe! Don’t worry, they are not normal bombs. They just explode out metal nets. Perfect for capture.”

“First, explode out isn’t a verb. Second, this sounds expensive and we don’t have metal nets.”

“I made some deals with some businesses. Ten Ten can help me quickly design metal nets as a weaponry master — don’t ask me how we got this close. I get Neji — I mean her cooperation and she gets business. The perks of partnerships include consultation~” Sakura continued to tease the boys and caught his hands once more and said, “As for making the bombs, aren’t you curious about how I got hundreds of swords? I swear. Shinobi focus too much on jutsus and training in this era, but not on the creative minds of civilians. We have quite a few talents and their business is my business!” Ever since she landed in this era, she was secretly meeting up with businesses and keeping an eye out for talents. While she hardly recalled history and politics back in her era, she did look at inspiring historical figures when it came to business and tech. Somehow later in this era, this cozy village would become stocked with video games and awesome tech that was close to her standards and something about Boruto funding more research. She ignored Boruto’s money and focused on the genius creators who made it happen in the first place.

She couldn’t see BTSSS or use voice-activated jutsus to do her hard work anymore, but metal nets and video games will have to do. No matter what, she had to collect the talents of the village and become more famous than her old evil bosses! Move over, Sakura Seals will be a conglomerate!

System: [Focus on the main plot, Host! Stop with the business-building!]

_Hey! I am just researching better methods to better serve my lord Hokage._

[Shameless! You can’t use your modern knowledge to get talents. This is an unfair advantage.]

 _It’s only good business to take advantage where I can, as the saying goes. Besides, what are you going to do? Kill me? I’m still going along with the plot, just richer that’s all. I’m the eternal soul stuck doing your dirty work, so unless you want our partnership to be more of a pain, play along. Just think of it as humoring a stupid human host~_ Sakura thought, but her cold threat chilled the System as it still remembered her alter ego.

[Tch. F-Fine! It’s only because you are pitiful that I’m turning a blind eye! This world is a mess anyway. I’m not scared! Hmph!]

Satisfied to get the upper hand as she slowly tamed her cute little System who stole her soul, she focused back on her cute family. She said, “Now, the offer! Please make me an army of clones over the next week and I’ll store them away — it will take me all week to store them, but it should work out. Each day, just send me what you can and I’ll keep them perfectly preserved like little jams of destruction in my scrolls. Meanwhile, Mr. Dark and Mysterious can help me with investments to help pay for the supplies. I’ll create scrolls full of your good-lucking self, Naruto and if the day of invasion comes during the exams as predicted…I’ll have another scroll with my bombs and all of your babies will get a bomb as a birthday present!”

The boys shook their heads at her crazy idea, but then the idea started to grow on them. With horror, they found themselves liking the idea and wondered how the hell Sakura messed with their minds. This was crazy! They were agreeing to essentially creating a secret army. If the Hokage ever found out, it’d be like they were the ones planning an invasion, not Orochimaru! 

Sakura watched their faces morph from skeptism to horror to sheer bewilderment with a crooked smile. Ahh~ Sweet corruption~ So she made the final push to close the deal as she grabbed Sasuke’s shoulder, “Sasuke. You invest in this project and not only will you be helping to protect Konoha, but this will bring more attention to Sakura’s Seals as a business. The better my business, the more resources I have to researching and creating the weapons of mass destruction you seek. You invest in me, I’ll make you stronger than you can ever imagine.” This time she leaned closer to Sasuke as she whispered with temptation, “Shall we join hands, partner?”

Sakura’s bright emerald eyes sucked in Sasuke’s dark ones as the promise of power and a future they both couldn’t fully imagine manifested as flames within those vibrant green orbs. He didn’t know how, but the pink kunoichi was slowly getting under his skin. Since when did Sakura’s eyes look so bright? With a soft voice, he found himself saying, “…Yes. Partner.”

And so, the two boys made a deal with the little devil and only one thought passed through their minds: No matter what, they must not let Sakura join forces with Orochimaru. Or who knew what havoc the shinobi nations would face.

_**To be continued…** _

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**BONUS SCENE FILLER EPISODE AS PROMISED:**

It was just another day after training…The sun was beginning to set and the team ended up staying over at Sasuke’s house. 

Kakashi yawned as Sakura carried in groceries to the table. Sasuke peeked in the bags for tomatoes while Naruto jumped up and down excitedly.

Naruto said, “Sakura! Did you get me ramen?” His happy whisker face looked like a little fox begging to get his head patted. 

Sakura rolled her eyes, “Yes, Naruto. Three flavors — spicy shrimp, miso and limited edition beef and garlic.” She tossed out three cups in quick succession. 

Sasuke asked, “Where’s my tomatoes?” He glared like a little kitten. “You better not forget like last time.”

Sakura giggled, “It’s right here.” Last time, he made fun of her drawing, so she purposefully forgot them. But when the stoic Uchiha became like a sad kitten, she felt guilty ever since. “I got you extra.” She threw out a bag of tomatoes that were hidden underneath her bento sets. “I swear you two, you also have bentoes like Kakashi and I. You must really love ramen and tomatoes.”

Sasuke retorted, “Tomatoes are a fruit. They are a perfect snack compared to Naruto’s salty ramen. No wonder his cheeks are a bit chubby.”

Naruto snarled. “Don’t be jealous that I’m cute! I’m manly cute! And ramen is the best food in the world!”

Sakura said, “Yes, yes, you two. Both are fantastic choices, but don’t forget to eat your bentos. Especially you Naruto — you can’t eat only ramen. I stocked up your house so you better be cooking!” Like an elder sister, she lectured them and the two moaned in annoyance.

“Hn. Of course so shut up already, Sakura. You always nag.”  
“Ughhh, but I love ramen, Sakura-chan! Ok, ok! I’ll eat my vegetables!”

Kakashi watched the adorable scene of his students and smiled beneath his mask. So he teased to join in. “Sakura, don’t I get a snack, too? I’m so lonely.” Ever since Sakura surprised him with her plans, he grew used to her Jiraiya-like ways. 

Sakura eyed the sinfully handsome Sensei of hers and smirked. “Of course I got you a little something extra, Sensei~” With hearts in her eyes, she took out…

Sasuke snorted while Naruto laughed. 

Kakashi moaned sadly, “I thought you liked me! Your poor Sensei is sad now.”

Sakura snickered as she tossed him an apple. “Hey, apples are nutritious and healthy.” Then with great fanfare, she slowly brought out a book. By the time the book was half-way out, she had to jump back and dodge Kakashi’s quick hands. The only reason she dodged her Sensei in time was because she was anticipating this very reaction.

“Nuh-uh-uh~ Why, Kakashi-Sensei. You can’t steal from your precious students!” With fake surprise, Sakura snickered as she cradled the book next to her face, showing off the cover. “The latest copy of Icha Icha’s Paradise. I happened to stop by the bookstore on the way back. I’m just suuuper excited to read it!”

Kakashi pouted. “You’re too young to read this, Sakura-chan! As your Sensei, I must confiscate it.”

“But I paid a lot for it. Wouldn’t that be cruel?”

“I’ll reimburse you. How did you even get this copy in the first place? It isn’t scheduled to be out until next month!” Sakura could see Kakashi’s body slightly quiver with excitement as that heated dark eye locked on her book.

With a knowing smirk, she kept teasing him as she ran a finger slowly down it’s spine and said, “I’ve been making myself known to the businesses and I happened to become friends with the bookstore owner…and then the publisher…and you know business goes. Deals and contracts and making friends. This was a little favor they allowed me for all the help I lent.” 

Naruto and Sasuke just enjoyed the show of watching their lazy, runaway Sensei be at the mercy of their evil teammate. 

Kakashi-Sensei begged, “Oh, my precious student! Come here! If you can let me borrow the book, I’ll help you train personally.”

“Aren’t you already supposed to? No deal.”

With a serious glint in his eye, the silver-haired ninja knelt to the ground, “Tell what you want and I’ll get it for you, Sakura-sama.”

“Pfft!” All three students laughed and Sakura was just about to give it to him for free, when she got a wicked idea. Since he was that desperate…”Wellll~” She walked over and whispered in his ear.

Kakashi’s eyes widened as he listened then he said, “You have quite a fun little side business.”

“I do.” She smiled cheekily. “So let me have the rights to use your image and I’ll give you royalties.”

“Hmm…Not bad, not bad. I’d like a written contract later but it’s fine. Also add a clause, from now on, you must get me advanced copies of Icha Icha when possible.”

“You’re just milking it now, Sensei.” Sakura pouted.

“And you’re not?” He arched a brow and chuckled, the sinfully seductive low sound of his voice making it almost impossible for Sakura to restrain herself. 

“Tch. Fine!” Sakura grabbed his hand. “We’ll discuss rates later.” Then she shook it hard as she blushed. 

Kakashi noticed she was going into her fangirl-mode again, but instead of running away as usual, he just rolled his eyes and patted her head like a little puppy. “Shall we eat?” With a soft smile, he got up and soon the team sat around the table. 

Sakura wished he could take off his mask, but passed out the bentos. “One day, we need to learn to cook. Itadakimasu!”

“Itadakimasu!”

And so ended another peaceful training day as the team of lonely souls enjoyed a meal together in the warm room with laughter in the air. Sakura looked around at Team Seven with a warm feeling and thought to herself:

_If this was how a family was like, then maybe I can stay in this bloody era a bit longer. Once I complete the System’s mission, I hope we have the chance to eat like this once again._

She could only hope they would forgive her when she leaves.

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** AUTHOR NOTE: **

Yo yo, in the town YO!

So I forgot if the exams came straight after the forest of death or not, so working with it. One week cool to plan havoc? In honor of the great tradition of filler episodes with a grain of main story plot, here goes! Happy holidays!!

The main part was a bit shorter than I liked but got swamped this month so here’s what came out of my airhead brain. As always, please review and let me know what you think! Also THANK YOU for the reviews, they make me so happy. 

Stay safe out there and remember to light a candle and eat something delicious, okay? Doctor’s orders. No, not me — Sakura of course! Huh? Will Sakura still be a doctor if she’s an entrepreneur? Well, Da Vinci had many hats, so why not do both?

Okay, eat well and let’s hope for warm feelings and happy days. One day at a time. 

No matter who or where you are. Or what — I’m looking at you Neuro. We’re getting married asap when I find you. Oh, but if you love Yako, I guess you can go to the netherworld with her. Sniffle. (Anyone get that reference?)

Ahem. Anyway, may the force/way/love/avatar be with you and I hope you have fun reading and having crazy adventures with the family between these digital pages. And who knows, maybe we can awaken our hearts to some cool power or better, peace. 

Much Love and Happy Holidays,

WitchySkies


	14. Chapter Fourteen: “Sasuke’s New Way And Sakura’s Suspicions”

**Chapter Fourteen: “Sasuke’s New Way And Sakura’s Suspicions”**

Sakura: “Don’t jinx me. I know I prepared a small army in my pocket, but I really don’t want to use it. If this ends with me using Naruto’s army to just act like my slaves for a day instead of fighting against an invasion, that’d be the best! Viva la being a queen!”  
—On Hoping The Talking System In Your Head Is Wrong So You Can Pretend To Be Queen Cleopatra For A Day **“Hey, Orochimaru! Go change your life mission to become a science teacher or something. You’re ruining my sweet life fantasy!”**

**System: You’re in this world to save Konoha! Not go on vacation!**

**Sakura: One must always live life to the fullest no matter where she is.**

**System cries: Why couldn’t I get a serious host? Boo hoo.**

**Tsunade: Heyyy, I feel like I can get along with you. Like Sake?**

**Jiraiya: Me, too. I need a beta reader.**

**Orochimaru: Back off. She’s mine! And you better not corrupt my Sakura with your filthy ways, toad.**

**Konoha: It’s too late.**

**Meanwhile, Future Naruto and Sasuke are busy planning for their 401k while Sakura is rich from selling everything from seals to their own fanart. For some reason, people were calling them idols these days? What was that? The men bite their lips as they contemplate why they are forced to do over-time at work while Sakura messed around. Life was truly unfair.**

**Also Sakura: Why am I still single?**

**Akatsuki and Team Seven in background: *hides bodies while they beg for freedom* Just focus on money and us, Sakura. You don’t need men.**

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One week later…The tournament between heroes — Oh? Wrong manga? But I already made a Deku banner…

*Narrator coughs* Right. Back to Konoha.

Anyway! The Chuunin Exam resumes! Once again, the infamous Konoha trouble-making trio found themselves on the steps as Kakashi wept in the background. 

Kakashi cried, “My precious students are finally growing up! Boo hoo.” 

Naruto turned to his ‘crying’ sensei with a frown. He said, “If you’re gonna cry, you should take your nose out of that ero book, Kakashi-Sensei.”

Kakashi didn’t move his eyes away from his holy tome. “I am truly sad. Truly. Do your best. It will be hard, but I will be watching you 100%.” He said with a monotone as the book continued to cover his face.

Sakura scowled back at him and yelled, “Hey! Can’t you act better? Our entire future is at stake! You should give us a moving speech and entice us with a reward by now! We could DIE in there, ya know. It’s the least you can do. By the way, I accept cash rewards.”

Sasuke rolled eyes and mumbled, “And there she goes.”

Kakashi finally put down the book and sighed, placing a hand on his hip while he looked up at the sky with all the remorse in the world. “You guys are going to pass anyway so I don’t see what the big deal is. All of you faced down a legendary sannin who escaped Konoha for several decades and lived to tell the tale. What are rookie genin gonna do to you three? And, Sakura, didn’t you also kill a rank S kunoichi in our last mission? Granted, you couldn’t claim the bounty because the Hokage and I want to keep you away from nosy friends, but that should say enough.”

“That — That actually makes sense.” Sakura pouted.

“See? That’s why I have complete and total faith in you three.” Kakashi’s eyes crinkled up from his hidden smile and he faced each of them one by one. First, he placed a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Naruto. You are reckless and your chakra control need a ton of work. However, you are the first to go into battle and the last to leave. Your loyalty and bravery are your true strengths. As you always say, believe in yourself and keep honing your skills. That’s a true shinobi.”

Naruto’s back went straight as he listened and with a serious gaze, he nodded. “I won’t let you down, Kakashi-Sensei!” From the corner of his eye, a tear threatened to leak out, but the young man puffed up his chest with pride.

Next, Kakashi turned to Sasuke. He didn’t bother with the hand as he knew the Uchiha valued personal space so he opted for a head rub. Sasuke’s eye twitched in annoyance, but he let the eccentric teacher continue. “Now, Sasuke, you are one of the strongest in your generation and a man of few words. While you are strong, don’t forget your teammates and your friends. I see that you have grown considerably as of late in that regard so I have full confidence you already know the value of such bonds. You are a leader in the new generation along with Naruto and Sakura. And while you have much to deal with, never forget the legacy you can and will leave. You have your personal mission to pursue, I understand that, but also think about what you will do after you find the mission is done. I have faith in you.”

Sasuke paused before he nodded. “I will never forget my mission, but I will take your words in consideration, Sensei.”

“That’s all I can ask.” With that, Kakashi finally turned toward Sakura — who had a barely contained goofy grin on her face. The young woman looked like she was a puppy ready to be praised. “Um, Sakura.” He started, but then coughed into his fist. “Right. Sakura. I just want to say — “ Sakura’s grin widened and her eyes turned bloodshot like some rabid dog version of a fangirl and he gave up on acting solemn. “Oh, forget it. What’s with that stupid look on your face?” He couldn’t handle it anymore! He didn’t think it was possible for one girl to look both menacing and excited at the same time! Her brows furrowed together and her nostril’s widened while her mouth twitched in a strange expression that would scare little kids. 

Sakura’s face fell before she glared up at her crazy teacher. “What do you mean stupid?! I was perfectly serious and I was waiting to hear what you’d say about me, but now you just ruined the moment! Baka! Stupid Sensei!” Before she could stop herself, she went back to old habits when her evil ex-bosses from her last life used to tease her daily just like this and mildly cursed him out wtihout making it obvious she was cursing him out. She was looking forward to hearing what meaningful advice her sensei would leave her! It was the first progress report she’d have since landing in this world! It would be her very first progress report as a NINJA for god’s sake! This stuff used to be only in dramas. She scolded, “Now go back to being serious and telling me how fabulous I am, Sensei!”

Kakashi rubbed his temple. “Sorry, but that moment is long gone. I was just going to say don’t cause any trouble since you didn’t really need my advice, so there you go.”

“How anticlimatic! That’s not fair. You gave Naruto and Sasuke heartfelt advice. Boo!” Sakura’s face fell and she grumbled as she stomped her foot. Her only chance at living out her dream ‘sensei-student’ moment in those old ninja dramas had crumbled. Why couldn’t she get a serious teacher to fill the role?! 

Naruto scratched the back of his head as he cut in, “Sensei has a point, Sakura-chan. You already improved lightyears ahead of most genin and took down a S class as well as faced down that snake guy.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement as he crossed his arms, “The only problem is your personality and attraction to trouble. Confess. You were going to call that sand shinobi ‘panda’ when we run into him, weren’t you?” He narrowed his eyes. “And you were going to oogle the other men. We can’t have you harrassing the teachers, Sakura.” He wasn’t worried about other students, he was worried she be lured away from a teacher! Was it better or worse than the days where she followed him? She was far from innocent, but he still had to watch over her.

Sakura pursed her lips together and tried not to look guilty. “I-I wasn’t going to call him panda! I was just going to THINK it. And the teachers are watching everyone else, so why can’t I watch them? I’m simply attempting to gauge the enemies’ weaknesses. Isn’t that what kunoichi were supposed to do?” _Of course, if they look extra spicy — erm, suspicious, then I had no choice but to use my kunoichi wiles to get closer to them. For finding out secrets, of course._

Also in the back of her mind, the System sighed. [I give up. Modern civilization has truly fallen]

Suddenly all three men stared at her in disbelief. Naruto, the one who committed pranks Sakura the most and thus was very familiar with her knack for generating evil plans, said with suspicion, “Ha? Wasn’t that just big talk for flirting? You can’t fool me!” He still remembered how she tried to memorize how he activated his sexy no jutsu. Luckily, he caught her earlier that day and added a twist so she ended up looking like an elderly man instead. It was only then that she stopped bugging him to get his sacred killer technique. He was grateful she didn’t own the sharingan.

Sasuke glared at her harder, if that was even possible. She could have sworn she could see his veins throb. “Sa. Ku. Ra. You better stay away from that Gaara guy. In fact, just stick close to us. For your safety.” An evil smile slid across his face. 

Kakashi shrugged with a mocking look that screamed ‘Ha. I win this argument. If you can’t have fun, I can’t.’ “Well, dear student, Naruto and Sasuke is right. If I can’t read my Icha Icha in peace, then you can’t run around the area cooking up your schemes.”

“I never have schemes! I’ve always acted in our best interests. Have I ever made you doubt me?”

All three countered in unison, “Yes.” 

“…” Sakura couldn’t argue back.

Then Kakashi clapped his hands together. “Now, now. Don’t be sad. The tournament will be a long one with breaks so you can be free then. Come on, let’s get inside, shall we? Don’t you have a promotion you’re fighting for, Sakura? That’s my advice to you. Fight with all of your heart for that promotion and you can’t go wrong. Don’t get distracted by your opponent’s good looks. I have faith in your restraint.”

Sakura grumbled but she still began to walk up the steps with the others. “That advice doesn’t sound half as cool as the boys’ ones.”

“It just means I have faith in your abilities to get things done. Just try not to cause too much havoc this time.” Kakashi yawned. “Now go kick some ass. I’m sure today will be fine. It’s not like you are a small army.”

“…” For a second, Sakura caught Naruto and Sasuke’s guilty gazes and they only acted innocent. “Yes, Sensei.” Maybe she shouldn’t mention that she had mini-scrolls stuffed with a small army in her pocket. Using designs she recalled from designing microchips from her world, she created small pocket-sized scrolls that still retained the power of a full-sized scroll. Since the seal work required a lot of space to draw the seals at the right size, she adapted a bunch of seals to comply with smaller dimensions but needed more delicate handling to achieve. With her mastery of chakra control, however, that wasn’t an issue for long. It was quality not size that mattered in work and in love heheh.

Seeing his students’ suspiciously innocent faces, Kakashi had a strange feeling then, but soon dismissed it. What could possibly go wrong in a heavily guarded exam meant for genin to promote their strength and their village? Even his odd and powerful students couldn’t do anything that would disrupt the Chuunin Exams. He must be acting paranoid.

And with that, Team Seven officially entered the arena.

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After that heartfelt moment on the stairs (again), Team Seven found themselves simply waiting against the wall in boredom. Well, Sakura was. Other shinobi were busy discussing strategy or keeping to themselves to get pumped for the battle, but Sakura really wished they could just take another exam and promote everybody so she could go home with her new pay raise. 

Naruto in particular was excited, “We can test ourselves against the other villages! Oh, I can’t wait! I want to show the world how strong I’ve become! They’re looking at the future Hokage of Konoha here!” He flexed his muscles and Sakura weakly smiled.

“Yeah…suuuper exciting.” Sure, she did that whole ‘do our best’ speech, but honestly. If all of the shinobi here were strong enough to pass the official exams, why cut down on the number of talented ninja? Because there were too many of them? Bullshit. Was Konoha too broke to afford chuunin-level pay rates for them all? Like a lazy modern capitalist, she just didn’t understand the value of showing off their abilities and fighting to the potential death just to prove they were worthy and strong. What a waste of human potential! If some died, then whatever accomplishments they could have achieved went moot.

Then again, since this was the bloody era, if they lived, then wouldn’t it just be more killing?

Sakura pouted. She hated politics and needless bloodshed, but she couldn’t judge. The nations weren’t all on friendly terms like they were in her time. If she pitied one person, she’d best be prepared for the day they’d stab her in the heart. Right. Forget the morals and focus on reality. 

The System retorted: [If only you forgot your greed and focused on the missions like these studious shinobi then I wouldn’t need to nag you, Host. Please learn from your classmates]

_Shut up soul-reaper system. You wouldn’t get it. You can’t feel pain and you don’t even bleed. I wish I had no period! Lucky basta —_

[Oh? I can make sure you are a dog in your next life — ]

 _No! I apologize! I looove you~_ Sakura thought, but stuck out her tongue.

[…Whatever! I’m going to sleep. Wake me up when the invasion starts]

_Thanks for confirming Orochimaru’s plan. Should I just tie him up and toss him to the Hokage? Then I wouldn’t need to give up my studio apartment to go chasing him down after I have to run away. I can just search for the Akatsuki on my free time. Maybe hire a bunch of trackers._

[PLOTLINE. You still need to leave Konoha to find the Akatsuki later not deliver Orochimaru to jail and be watched as the number one hero! Stop further ruining the world.]

_It’s not me. It’s the men acting weird. Okay, fine. I’ll be good._

The System scoffed but said nothing. If it continued to talk to her, it’s IQ would drop again. 

While Sasuke prepared for the first match, Sakura looked around the arena in boredom and noticed the three poor genin they caught and harrassed in the forest of death. She couldn’t help but notice the leader with all the bandages wrapped around his face — his lungs must be strong if he could run through the forest with his nose covered like that. Unlike the other students, the trio had a fishy look about them and didn’t even seem worried about the upcoming matches. Their focus seemed to turn toward the sand nin. Hmm…Suspicioussss….

Sakura’s eyes twinkled mischievously as an idea popped up. Sure, she said she wouldn’t cause trouble, but they said nothing about preventing it! With a slight snicker, she ran her fingers against each other as she hunched forward and held an evil pose. Luckily, Kakashi-Sensei was busying talking with Sasuke and so only Naruto noticed the trouble brewing in Sakura’s face.

Naruto leaned close and whispered with a knowing gaze, “Ne, Sakura-chan, whatcha planning?”

Sakura jumped and quickly smiled to hide her idea of fun — erm, secret mission. She squeaked out, “N-Naruto! Nothing is going on. I’m just thinking, um, about using the bathroom! Do you think I have time before Sasuke’s match starts?” 

Naruto narrowed his eyes as he looked her up and down. “You don’t seem that curious about a toilet. You’re not even doing the pee dance!”

Ugh. Just fall for it! “I’m really curious about Sasuke’s first match since he’s the first match to fight among us. I’m going to go to the ladie’s room real quick!” To be honest, she couldn’t care less since it was obvious Sasuke would take down the opponent. Basic life rule — if the main guy is in the first round, he’d pummel the poor victim to showcase how hard his future battles will be. That and Orochimaru would’ve got him as a student if she didn’t show up so there was no way Sasuke would lose. To top it off, she also saw him fight everyday so seeing him throw another fire ball wasn’t exactly amazing anymore. Stalking up potential spies was way more fun than another test. 

To convince Naruto, she ended up doing the infamous pee pee dance that transcends time itself and she jumped on her two feet while cradling her stomach like she was giving birth to waterballoons. “I gotta go! Let me know how it goes!” And she ran off before hearing Naruto’s answer.

Naruto frowned, “Let her know what happens? I thought she wanted to see the fight so she would rush pee. Ohhh. Unless she has constipation. I told her she shouldn’t eat too much today!” The fox ninja grumbled as he fussed over his dear irresponsible team member’s poor diet. 

Sasuke glanced at him and retorted automatically, “Says the guy chugging down 3 bowls of ramen.” He had just finished discussing possible strategies with Kakashi-Sensei. Ever since Sakura held her study group sessions, the team had gotten used to discussing plans and innovations even during spare time. It was growing on him. In fact, it was even a bit fun. He wanted to talk with Sakura as well, but saw she ran off and so asked Naruto, “Where did she head to?”

“The bathroom.” Naruto tilted his head to the side. “I think it was the yogurt.”

“Didn’t she seem perfectly fine a minute ago?”

“You know how constipation goes. It comes out of nowhere!” Naruto said with wide eyes and widened his arms around like he was emphasizing how big the issue was. “You can never be careful! Always carry disposable wipes.”

“…” Both Kakashi and Sasuke stared at Naruto. Suddenly, the dark-eyed Uchiha wondered at this new insight into his cheery idiotic teammate. “Sounds like a regular issue for you, dobe. How do you cope during long missions?”

“Hey! It’s not a regular issue, bastard! I just have some experience that’s all! Poor Sakura must be suffering. I hope she makes it before her match. Kakashi-Sensei, do you have medicine?” He looked up at his teacher earnestly with worried blue eyes that were clear as the sky. 

Kakashi glanced at Naruto before staring at the direction Sakura ran off to and noticed that his suspicious student’s chakra signature was perfectly hidden away. He didn’t know if he should be proud of her accomplishment or concerned as that usually meant she was up to no good. He looked back down at the innocent pair of sparkling blue eyes and said kindly, “Yes, I do have some stomach medicine on hand. A shinobi must always be prepared! I’ll go check in on Sakura.” He turned to Sasuke and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I know you don’t need this, but good luck.”

Sasuke smirked. “You’re right. I don’t need it.” He frowned. “Just make sure that girl isn’t sneaking off.” There was no way she’d randomly need the restroom. That would be too simple. With Sakura, nothing was simple. “I have a bad feeling.” Plus there was the fact that she had a small army armed with bombs hidden in her pocket. Yes. Just a possibly insane kunoichi with amnesia and a penchant for explosions with a curse mark carrying a suicide bomb squad of clones. Right, nothing to worry about. But he couldn’t tell Kakashi-Sensei that and Naruto was too stupid to realize the implications of her running off. He sighed to himself. He was the only responsible one in this group!

Before Sasuke could vent about Sakura’s true nature and how he wished she acted serious, the announcement rang across the arena: “Please come down for the first match! Sasuke Uchiha Vs Yoroi Akado!”

“Tch.”

Kakashi smiled and waved. “Go on. I’ll catch Sakura.” There was an implicit understanding that Sakura was up to no good. Only Naruto took his words at face value.

“I’ll cheer you on twice as loud to make up for Kakashi-Sensei and Sakura, Sasuke! Man, I hope Sakura will be alright.” 

With another sigh, they patted Naruto’s head. Even Sasuke was beginning to see what Sakura meant when she called him a ‘puppy with the energy of a child’ and he couldn’t un-see that. Sure he was a fierce rival, but it was getting harder to hate the guy when he really did trust everybody’s lies so easily. But that was it. He still called him dobe and fought against the blonde menace with nothing held back. Naruto wasn’t a puppy, he was a wolf acting like one. Even he couldn’t look down on Naruto’s high stamina and fighting potential. Too bad he was easy to fool.

Kakashi winked. “Of course, Naruto. She’ll be alright.” Then he quickly went after Sakura while Sasuke headed down. Wasting no time, he simply swung over the railing and jumped down from the upper floor. Thud! Not even breaking a sweat, he landed perfectly on the stage. 

A tall man with a black cloth covering his face followed after. The opponent sported black sunglasses that resembled that bug guy Shino’s and he thought about the intense study sessions at his house over the past week. 

Ever since their run-in with Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, the team worked endlessly — holding studies with the rest of their allies/friends as well as working on scroll work and sparring. It was in those daily sessions that Sasuke developed new techniques and for once, he was glad Sakura thought of the idea to invite different shinobi into his home. He would never admit it, but it was thanks to her that he began to realize the value of learning from different styles. Who knew the Guy-Sensei lookalike Rock Lee would lead him to create a new fighting technique. Heh. This match will be fun.

With a smirk, Sasuke faced his opponent head-on. “So it begins.”

“BEGIN!”

Sasuke didn’t wait for the opponent and launched a fireball as he dashed forward. Testing his movements, he went on the offensive before Yoroi threw kunai through the fire and Sasuke had to dodge. In that second, Yoroi dashed up to him and swung out at him with a kunai while grabbing Sasuke’s arm. As soon as his hand clasped around him, Sasuke felt a bit drained and he kicked at the shinobi hard.

Yoroi let go and let himself get kicked but rolled and stood up without missing a beat. The force of the kick dissipated and he smirked. “Good. But not good enough, Sasuke.” As he said so, he briefly glanced up but then focused. “You’re strong. It’s a wonder why no one valued you.” Having said such cryptic words, Yoroi launched the attack first and before Sasuke could complete the jutsu, they entered into a taijutsu fight with Yoroi’s attacks aimed at making skin contact.

While they fought, Sasuke realized the opponent’s ability. As soon as Yoroi grazed him, he could feel a bit of chakra leaving him again and Sasuke jumped back. He quickly dodged the next attacks while he thought up a counter-attack. So Yoroi could drain chakra. How troublesome as Shikamaru would say. Even so, Sasuke taunted, “That all you got?”

“Such big talk for someone who only dodges.” Yoroi chuckled. “You can’t escape for long.”

“No. I’m done analyzing.” If the opponent hadn’t revealed another card by now, then it either meant he was ridiculously resourceful with many talents to hide or he truly had nothing else really. He tried to think like Shikamaru, after talking a bit over dinner a few times he gained a new respect for the lazy shinobi, and judged that the opponent looked down on him and seemed to have a weird agenda against him. Since he had too many potential enemies that wasn’t important — the only important thing was that the rest of the battle was going to be a piece of cake. 

Once more, Sasuke launched a fireball and when Yoroi made same move as before to dash after throwing kunai, Sasuke quickly ducked and waited for Yoroi to show up above him. Sure enough, the target showed up from behind and Sasuke quickly kicked upwards with enough force to launch the unaware shinobi up into the air.

SWOOSH!! Yoroi grunted as he was kicked into the air and Sasuke leaped up to be right behind him. They were as high as the second floor!

Sasuke revealed his hidden card — Lion Combo! At first copying the first two steps from Rock Lee’s fighting technique, he then launched his own attack style and proceeded to gain enough momentum so that the higher they are, the more force would be added to his final kick when he would kick Yoroi to the ground with a force strong enough to break his bones. Sasuke and Yoroi kept rising higher and higher into the air as force built around them.

Unfortunately, the tense atmosphere was ruined by his well-meaning ‘friends.’ While he executed his technique flawlessly ever since he copied Rock Lee’s taijutsu with his sharingan over the week, he could practically hear the green-clad bob head crying over their ‘friendship.’ Only Lee would be proud over a fellow shinobi practically dissecting all of his techniques. No shinobi would like that even if they were friends. Would he call him crazy or honest?

Naruto roared, “TEAM SEVEN IN THE HOUSE!!” At this point, even Gaara, who was eyeing the battle with interest, was wondering about the insane antics of the team. From the crazy pinkette to the loud blonde, the only normal one seemed to be the Uchiha unfortunately. Where did that odd girl go?

While Gaara fell into his thoughts, Lee joined in the screaming and yelled even louder than Naruto, “That’s it! That’s the way, Sasuke! Oh, friendshippp!!!” 

Naruto cheered even louder in response and soon the two’s ‘screams of friendship’ took over the arena. “WHOOO!!! KICK HIS ASS!” The higher Sasuke and Yoroi were in the air, the louder their screamed.

“LET THE FLOWERS OF BROTHERHOOD FIRE UP THE SPIRIT!!” Lee already ran to Naruto’s side to join the newfound cheering team.

“SHOW THEM WHOSE BOSS!! TEAM SEVEN! TEAM SEVEN!” Naruto shouted like he was a frat boy and jumped on the railing. He tried to throw his shirt off before he realized he was wearing a one piece. 

“GRASHGLKSBLELSIH!!” Meanwhile, Lee waved his arms in the air like a jellyfish as he gave up on the human language.

The two idiots got carried away as they went from cheering on Sasuke to just screaming for the fun of it. Acting like two drunks, they bounced off each other’s energy and Sasuke knew he had to finish up the fight before his ear drums broke. So he launched the final bit of his combo—- BOOM!!! With a heavy downward kick while still mid-air, Yoroi crashed against the floor and a crack resounded in the air.

Sasuke landed without issue and just as his team predicted, he won the match. 

The announcement roared: “SASUKE UCHIHA WINS!”

The crowds cheered and Sasuke looked above with a cocky smirk. From Shikamaru to Neji, everyone who stayed at his house to share knowledge looked at him with respect and even pride. Just a few months ago, they were enemies. For the first time, he understood how others could not only increase his power but also even influence his way of thinking. He didn’t even need to use Sakura’s power booster seals this time to make up for his chakra control. Equipped with this newfound realization, the world felt like it was waiting to be conquered and even Itachi would one day be his to kill. When Sakura first changed, the team was in a bad place. But when she grew rapidly, they all grew with her. He underestimated her — but then he underestimated everyone and now he saw that was his weakness. Just as Yoroi looked down at him, he looked down on his team. He had to respect them for putting up with him no matter how insane, perverted or idiotic they acted.

And so, he went to look at the one who changed him this way. He went to search behind Naruto. His lips twitched as he looked behind Naruto’s ecstatic face while Lee hugged the life out of him like two crazy fans caught in the heat of the moment — 

Kakashi and Sakura were still missing. 

He didn’t believe Sakura was truly sick so something else happened. What the hell was Sakura up to? He didn’t care if she missed his match, he was worried about trouble. If Sakura was right and there was truly an invasion then…

Orochimaru might be here in disguise.

Immediately, Sasuke thought of the worst and his mind drowned in dark thoughts. If that perverted snake kidnapped Sakura, he would kill him — even if he was the legendary snake sannin. He’d cut his throat, tear off his limbs and cut up his heart into tiny pieces if Sakura had a single scar. 

With that thought, Sasuke’s eyes turned red.

Where are you, Sakura?

………………………………..

…………………………………..

**BONUS SCENE:**

_**(Time: After Team Seven’s first study session at the Uchiha Compound, when Hinata almost kissed Naruto due to Sakura’s mischief)** _

Hinata was alone in her room after she regained her wits. Neji-nii-sama tucked her into bed and went to write down what he learned at the study session so she was left alone to die of embarrassment. 

O-O-Oh my g-god! I almost kissed Naruto-kun!

When Sakura-chan whispered about giving her thanks, she didn’t think it’d be like this! Ever since Sakura-chan lost her memories, she acted like a different person, but she was still the fiercest girl she knew. Only Sakura could be bold enough to push her right under Neji-nii-sama’s nose!

The pale Hyuuga girl’s face turned deep red as steam seemed to rise from her head. She kicked at her blankets as she remembered the way Naruto’s arms felt — firm enough to hold her yet careful not to crush her. His bright blue eyes seemed to color her gray world of responsibilities with warmth and they were focused on her. Her heart beat so fast she thought it would jump out of her body. It…It….

It was the best day ever! 

Ashamed at her greedy desire yet also ecstatic at being noticed by her crush, she only wished she didn’t dodge by reflex. She was so used to dodging stares that it was an instinct. Unlike Sakura, she was raised to avoid trouble completely and so her voice was soft and her presence small. If she hadn’t decided on taking a stroll that day Sakura lost her memories and watched Naruto head toward the hospital, if she hadn’t said yes to Sakura’s offer to study…who knew when she’d even talk to them or even another human being outside of her team and family? She would be on her own.

Hinata laid back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling lit up by the full moon. These days felt like a dream. Even though her father still didn’t value her, Hinabi looked down on her and Neji-nii-sama still thought she was too weak to be left alone, the depression and pressure that used to weigh down her steps disappeared. Like magic, each week became fun as she joined in on Team Seven’s study sessions a few times a week along with the others. 

Unbidden, a tear leaked from her eye as she whispered to the room, “Thank you.” Thank you for accepting her. Thank you for reaching out a hand when she was too scared to. Thank you for believing in her. 

Thank you for being the first friends she ever made that wasn’t because they were on the same team or that she was the Hyuuga Heiress. 

Hinata smiled as her eye lids started to fall. With a soft whisper, she cuddled into her blanket and imagined going to the Uchiha house again soon, “Thank you for noticing me.”

And so, the lonely heiress dreamed of the next day when she could see Naruto’s smile and hear Sakura’s laugh while Sasuke accepted her presence. 

She only wished these days would last forever.

……………………….

……………………..

……………………..

  
**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Konnichi Wa Stars in the Skies,

DUN DUN DUN!! *Trumpets blow while those king announcer dudes in medieval dramas bow*

And so the Chuunin Exams are entering the final stage! Also, turning bonus scenes as a regular thing if I have time. For this arc at least. Cool.

Slowly getting back into gear. Had time with fam, but some issues came up so learning about letting go. If only I had an Inner Sakura to vent to. Random fact: when I was a tween, I wished Gaara would be my mentor like yoda or Jiraiya. Why? Red hair. My bar wasn’t very high, but at least I had good taste? Move over Edward Cullens! Gaara’s got the whole package.

Then I discovered Itachi and the rest was history lol. Honestly, if he were a vampire instead of Edward, I would understand Bella being obsessed about him. Itachi is Itachi — he even makes walking look sinful.

On another note, I am still aiming for going abroad for work. Idk if this year, but I haven’t given up since 2019 so let’s go! I can only hope things get better. Work passed out flyers on vaccines and my dumbass first thought is: so how many shots would that mean in the future. It’s free right? Omg I still need to get a driving license. 

Real life. Whatever your opinion on the universe is, I hope things get better for all of us. How about you? Any plans for 2021 or 22? I’m still aiming for Tokyo crepes or cafes in Seoul. I am mad I held off for about 7 years on moving there when I had the possibility but I was blind (I’m still in my twenties but I could have done many things better) so I’m not holding back anymore. Fuck the job just for the resume! I need more skills. I’ll save and work the least sexy jobs. Build a career up slowly. And finally graduate college. If college had a career pathway that was straightforward like the chuunin exams, and the Hokage would give me a promotion, that’d be the good shiznit. Konoha, is that you? *Fantasizes about other dreams* No. Better not try sailing the world like Luffy. I get lost as easy as Zoro and I get seasick. I want a Devil’s Fruit.

On random note: *Venting since certain family knew how to get under my skin since I wasn’t ‘successful’ enough or organized and got depressed a bit. It’s a freaking pandemic dude. To be fair, her work stressed her out and my uncle is a ‘I’m honest but deal with it if it hurts’ guy, but we hardly see each other more than once a year and even that was skipping some years. It couldn’t kill you to chill for one week? It’s not all her fault, but I’m not going to take all the blame again either. So I wrote more angsty stuff last week lol*

Anyone else have weird fam dynamics or should I try to gain a disney princess personality? Om. Smile and wave, follow the Way of the Penguins of Madagascar… 

Why can’t Uncle Iroh pass me wisdom. Heck, just give me Naruto — he is a great listener when it matters (talk no jutsu should be therapy no jutsu). Is it a coincidence? His sexy no jutsu became therapy no jutsu. And my romance novels became therapeutic escape fantasies for stress relief. Hmm…Was the mangaka insightful?! *Fantasizes again*

Phew. Okay! Enough rants. I hope you like this chapter and as always, please review! I love reading them. Btw, Ima start think of scrolls as Hermione’s bag now lolol

Ok! Long ass note done. I wish you a happy 2021 and may we get our new year resolutions done. The mission to dominate 2021 like Sakura dominates the Akatsuki begins!

Good Luck and Safe Journeys,

WitchySkies

P.S. Great. Gonna cram learning korean while studying. This is going to hurt — I’m going to buy a case of Monster.

P.S.S. Fanfic has become a half-diary at this point. Damn. The future is strange.

P.S.S.S. To Do: Naruto soundtracks with enka and meditate like Naruto who crams studies at midnight. Dattebayo! At least I don’t have to run ten miles and battle against teleporting ninja for a living, right? I’ll be the secretary haha.

P.S.S.S.S.S.s.s.S.S>S.s: The year just began and I’m already playing Nathan Wagner. Wagar? Look up Lonely and nathan w and it should show. His voice…Siiiigh. If Naruto cast were in America, this would totally be on their soundtrack with kakashi by the bonfire. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen: “Spying And Getting Spied On”

**Chapter Fifteen: “Spying And Getting Spied On”**

Sakura: “I gotta take a selfie. Damn, I look good being secretive! Go ninja uniforms! #NormalDayWorkingAsANinja ~ ”  
—Work Hard, Play Hard! You never know which day will be your last (especially with shuriken involved) **“Hey Naruto! When you become Hokage, give me hazard pay!”**

**Naruto: But half the missions are dangerous! Can we afford to give so many bonuses? (Can I just give her Sasuke’s money? He’s a rich bastard. That’s what taxes are for, right?)**

**Sasuke: I heard that Dobe. Try it and I’ll burn down your favorite ramen stand and buy out all the limited edition ramen. You don’t even know how to do your own taxes anyway!**

**Naruto: I’ll just ask Sakura-chan! She’s got so many businesses so she knows all about it, Teme!**

**Sakura: O-Oh…My business? I do pay taxes with my job though. What? Yes. Yes, I do have, um, side income…but it’s not like a TON of cash so…ya know how taxes are for the poor *Cough* *Hides any trace of income* *whispers to self: I gotta get the girls in the idol club to keep the stash hush hush. The ninja way applies to war and to bank accounts! No one will know!***

**Hokage: *Clutches heart* Agh! W-Why do I feel like I’m missing money?**

**Kakashi: I’m not involved. What my students do outside of shinobi work and training hours is none of my business. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be watching the Icha Icha Live Adaptation.**

**Sakura and Naruto: Ooh! Lemme join! *Chases sensei***

**Somewhere far away…Orochimaru proceeds to throttle Jiraiya.**

**Akatsuki: *Sniffle* Aw, our new recruit is already running underground clubs and evading the law. So proud.**

…………………………………………

…………………………………………

Sakura snickered to herself as she blend in with the students in the arena. Although she told Naruto she had to heed mother nature’s call, she was staring at a certain bandaged genin they tied up while they were in the forest. Something screamed ‘suspiscious!’ about him and she couldn’t stop her curiosity as she ditched her team when Sasuke was called to fight Sub Villain 1 who was bound to get his face smashed in. Instead of watching a boring fight, she wanted to figure out what cranky, bandaged and shifty-eyed was looking for. They left the fighting area and went in the halls.

At first, he wasn't doing anything special and waited around while his team members went ahead. He seemed to be thinking hard, but only sighed in the end. With a deep sigh herself, she was about to return to Naruto’s side when suddenly she heard voices. When she followed him, she made sure to keep out of sight even though most of the people were busy watching the fights. Luckily, the hallways around the arena were large and had a bunch of memorabilia from past tournaments. The Chuunin Exams were pretty much the Olympics of the shinobi nations so there was a lot of historical scrolls, encased weaponry, fake plants. She loved the fake plants. Better to hide behind. 

Of course, that gimmick didn’t last long as she ran out of plants and nobody was in the halls anymore to excuse her big ass pretending to be a fern. So she did the next best thing before she got caught and she used Naruto’s infamous jutsu! Sadly, she couldn’t transform into a sexy babe or handsome hunk (curse her teammates’ morals) and could only turn into an old man. A very wrinkly old man with long pink hair. She wanted to break all the mirrors, but she was desperate!

Once she transformed into an old man, she quickly grabbed a mop from the supply closet, found a real janitor — shocked him with her naked old man body (why did Naruto’s jutsu always make him naked?!) — and when the poor man passed out, she stole his uniform. She left him ten thousand hard-earned yen as an apology and that was how Sakura Haruno became a ninety-year old janitor following some fourteen year old boy down the hall. All of that took less than five minutes thanks to her desperation.

Now that she thought about it, it sounded so wrong, but what’s done is done! 

After trailing the genin for a few more minutes, he ran into his teacher who also didn’t seem to care about the fight. Huh. Poor Sasuke wasn’t as popular as she thought. 

“Dosu.” The teacher, a tall man with long dark hair, said as he smiled at the mummy genin. “Heading the same way?”

Dosu nodded. “Yes, Sensei.” He gulped and bit his lip. “I have questions to ask also, if you have time to answer them.”

“Hmm~ I suppose. We can’t afford to lose traction. Very well, let us go somewhere private.” Sakura’s wrinkled ear twitched as she tried to catch something sinister or scandalous, but they remained silent the rest of the way. They both looked so serious as they began to walk together to…

The toilet. The fucking toilet..

And so, the pink kunoichi who used to be an A student found herself in front of the men’s restroom with a very uncomfortable feeling in-between her legs. “…” _Damn it. What a waste of time! I scarred myself for life for nothing!_ Her eye twitched as she tried to ignore the weird itch from down under. How do men live like this?! And why was this jutsu so fucking realistic!? 

The pink-haired old man was about to turn away when he/she heard a very familiar voice — it was muffled and hard to tell, but it almost sounded like Orochimaru! She froze. And for the first time in her life, the infamous reckless Sakura Haruno didn’t know what to do.

Oh gods. If she went in, she’d break so many laws and probably have to burn her eyes. But if she stayed out here, she wouldn’t catch Orochimaru’s plans! Unless she heard wrong. Then she’d only have to rinse her eyes with soap! Kakashi wasn’t in there so she didn’t care about some teacher - student toilet meeting and she certainly didn’t need to see them do their business. Why? Why couldn’t the enemy just all look like Kakashi-Sensei?!

Ten seconds. She hesitated for ten seconds before she made the very hard choice to…listen from the restroom entrance instead. And so, the 28 year old turned teenager turned ‘cool’ old man started mopping slowly in front of the mens restroom with depression. When she imagined spying on enemies, she thought of foxy temptresses or cool alibis. This had to be most un-sexiest (self-proclaimed) mission in the history of Konoha! 

For a second, she thought she felt a chakra behind her, but nothing was there. Hmm. Weird. Focusing back on the Dubious Toilet Meeting, she forgot about that. She bit her lip. Please be Orochimaru! No wait, don’t be! Agh, I hope no one invades today, but I also hope I didn’t just waste my time! Stupid morals!

However, after five more minutes, nothing could be heard and Sakura was forced to admit her defeat. Even if she tried to clean up in there, Orochimaru wasn’t the type to let an old man pop into his meeting and clean there. If that really was his voice she heard, then he was either the teacher, Dosu or there were more people in there. Since she could only sense Dosu’s and the other two genin's chakra presence, the others were elite if there were more people there. 

At least one epiphany came out of this — She hated spying and would rather fight her enemies head-on if she had to keep facing moral dilemmas like this one. No wonder Naruto wanted to avoid these type of missions. This was worst than being sent to find spoiled fat cats!

Sakura sighed, but decided to check to see who left the restroom and just do a process of elimination. Surely, nobody would stay in there for long! There were patrols every so often so nobody could just hide away in there. In a village of assassins, not even toilets were sacred spaces. Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, Dosu left first as well as his team members. Guess they showed up before him. He gave her a weird look as he passed and mumbled, “Crazy old man. Who did his hair?”

Sakura resisted the urge to punch him while crying and just mopped faster. Even after the Dosu Bastards left the area, the teacher never came out. Could it be —

Immediately he came out whistling. “La La~ I hope our team wins~” His voice was low and rough and she couldn’t assume he was Orochimaru in disguise. She had no proof Dosu was related to him too. So why did she have a weird feeling about this dude?

The teacher continued to whistle before licking his lips. “La La~ I can’t wait to drink.” Suddenly he called out to her, “Hey, old man!”

Sakura jolted. She pointed to herself and lowered her voice until it sounded gruff. “Ah — Ahem. Yes, young man? I gots a bad back so whaddya want?” Was she overdoing it?

“The halls are super clean thanks to you. So thank you. It must be hard work.” He smiled at her like a gentleman, but Sakura still had a weird feeling. Even if he wasn’t Orochimaru, Sakura found something felt odd. Usually, gentle men his age were enough to get her in flirt mode for fun, but the sound village teacher seemed…not all there. If it weren’t for the fact that it would be hard for a sannin to just take over a sound nin’s place in front of all the elite shinobi that could sense things better than her, she would have just ran with her instincts and assumed the worst. But he was a teacher — and one whose been introduced to many officials and the hokage as a representative so she had to place the benefit of the doubt. 

Konoha had a lot of enemies so who knew why this guy seemed off. Most of the people living here were kinda psycho anyway. “Excuse me first, young man, but are there anymore people inside? I need to clean.”

“Ah! Right, sorry, sorry.” He held his hands up in prayer. “My bad. My students were nervous about the exams so we took up the restroom. No one is there now.” He smiled wider. “Say, you look wise. Can I ask a question? My students had ethical concerns about missions and I would love to hear from a civilian.”

What in the — Yep. Def Craaazy. But she had a role to play so she nodded solemnly, “If I can be of help, I’ll try to answer, Child. What do you seek?” Seriously, was she acting like an old man or her re-run of Empire of Thrones drama? She didn’t know anymore. Either way, she used formal language so that was fine. Right?!

The teacher laughed in relief. “I’m glad! So my question is what would you do if you had a mission you’ve worked on for years out of sheer curiosity, but then something better came along? What would you do if the things that mattered most to you became unimportant? And you’ve found something you’ve lost from years ago? I’m verrrry curious about hearing from an…outsider’s…point of view.” His dark brown eyes twinkled as he leaned over her. “I’ve been mostly around shinobi so I’d love to hear from a civilian with stylish hair such as yourself.”

The weird feeling grew stronger, but Sakura, true to herself, felt happier that someone could stand to see her old man version and even complimented her hair. Her ego’s been bruised for about ten minutes now so the comment was a ray of hope. Even her sexy no fail jutsu had charm! So, summoning up all her worldly wisdom (from Empire of Thrones), she said wisely, “I would follow my heart, young man. As man to man, I understand your troubles. Hack!” She coughed to add some back story for her newly thought up role as a wise old man. “Yes, yes. You should seek what you’ve lost. Life is only temporary —“ Didn’t she know She died a few months ago! “—And so focus on those important memories. Plans change all the time!” 

As soon as she was done preaching, she patted her back like those wise martial art teachers in movies then coughed once more. Yet, despite the teacher’s smiling face nodding at her words, why did she sense someone laughing behind her? She felt no chakra presence though! Did her jutsu not only make her look old, but go senile too?! Her thoughts were interrupted before she could have her mental breakdown though.

“Then, wise man, what kind of missions do you find worthy enough to pursue? Correction, I forgot you’re not a shinobi. I mean what kind of life missions? I’m slowly getting tired of hearing about those routine orders from short-sided hokage whose very existence thrives off killing. Nobody is creative these days. Everyone just survives. There is so much more to this shallow world. The universe if full of mysteries that are waiting to be dissected. If you had a life mission that was worth dying for, what would you do?” 

Okay creepy sensei, privacy. Sakura thought this depressed teacher would leave after the question, but he kept going on. Was she a bartender? Did he drink too much in misery? Maybe he had no faith in his team winning, which was understandable because HER Team Seven was going to kick their ass anyway. She scrunched up her nose. “I live to do what I want and protect the people (and money) I cherish.” If it weren’t for her materialistic insert, her words made her seem truly humble. 

Sakura stepped back. Why was she talking to him again? Whatever. Nobody left the restroom after him so there was no point in stalling anymore. This guy was crazy, but it would be hard to replace a whole ass teacher, so she couldn’t assume things. She fucking hated these type of missions where the enemy was hidden and she couldn’t just punch her way out of a situation. So much for having fun — erm, for helping protect her village. Ahem! “Riiight. Yes, well, I better clean that bathroom so I’ll just say this: People are full of potential mysteries as creations of the universe you love. So why not see where they go? You looked down on routine killing missions earlier so maybe pursue something that helps lives instead. I don’t know, try a medical career?” Annnnd now she ended up telling him to switch careers. Was that rude?

“Hmm, medical things? I guess human experiments are interesting —“

“No.” Sakura had this random urge to hit the creep in the back of the head. For some reason, a natural instinct to preach kept pouring out of her. Why did she feel she had to correct this man again? He wasn’t her little brother or something. Nevertheless, she said, “Whoa there! If you treat humans like logs to be tossed in a fire, then it’s all pointless to try. Like, how are you living like this? It’s an insult to your intelligence.” She assumed he was the type who thought he was smarter than everyone else since he kept challenging strangers with philosophical questions and buttered him up the way all egotistical guys liked, “A true scientist who, um, dissects the universe would realize even an ant’s nest can reveal a highly efficient system to recognize the shortest routes. It’s biomimicry! Humans, too, have much potential. There is a lot to discover about the world, I’m sure an intelligent man such as you know. You must be quite smart when you have such deep questions. I can’t compare!” 

The man pounded his fist into his palm in realization. “Ohhh! Biomimicry is an interesting topic. It’s still a new field, but I guess humans would have more insights than ants so studying complex societies could lead to very interesting insights. Maybe they’re not completely worthless after all. What a great suggestion!” Like a true yandere, the mysterious sensei agreed in the wrongest sense.

Huh. Sakura’s hand twitched as she felt that strong urge to hit him again, but she held back. What was wrong with her? She wouldn’t do this to any stranger let alone a creepy enemy sensei whose students acted shady as fuck. Hmm…He felt awfully familiar….She tilted her head and squinted her eyes up at the pale sound nin. 

System: [I won’t even comment. You’re skills are still lacking if you didn’t notice by now, Host]

_What? Tell me!_

[Just find out yourself! You ruin everything anyways. I’m going to check if I have social security. At this rate, I won’t make enough points to retire rich. Sighhhh.]

The strange man noticed Sakura’s probing eyes and coughed into his fist. “Well, that was a nice chat, dear…wise janitor…but I must see to my, ah, teacher duties. Yesss, until next time.” Then before Sakura could notice his slip of tongue, he slid away quickly. 

Left alone in the hall, Sakura blinked in shock. What a random encounter. But soon, she snuck into the men’s restroom to check anyway — Yep. Nobody. Did she really just imagine Orochimaru’s voice? The teacher was suspicious, but not suspicious enough. She didn’t know much about Konoha’s politics so she didn’t really know Orochimaru’s network, but what kind of village would ally with a deranged escaped nin with a penchant for kidnapping beautiful genin like herself? And so, Sakura began to question the side effects of messing up Naruto’s Sexy no Jutsu turned Old Man no Jutsu once again. Agh! She couldn’t do this anymore!

“Release!” Sakura dropped the jutsu and soon turned back into her old self. Plus a janitor’s uniform on top of her original clothes. “God damn it! Jutsus make no sense sometimes. Why did Naruto have to make his sexy version naked? He really should try a sexy outfits version so I could have clothes! Maybe I should experi — oh no. No. I already screwed this up. I don’t want to turn into a weird perverted old man on top of this!” She grumbled as she threw off the janitor's clothes and walked out of the men’s restroom. She kinda felt bad for the guy sitting in his underwear in the supply closet, but hey. She was outta time. 

Suddenly, someone gasped. “Oh my! A girl in the boy’s restroom!”

Sakura yelped. There was no one here a minute ago! She looked up to find Kakashi-Sensei smiling down at her with those upturned eyes and she just knew behind his mask was an evil grin. “S-Sensei! I can explain —“

He held up a hand. “No, no. I saw the whole thing. So you are a wise old man preaching teachers now, hmm? What kind of wisdom are you hiding from me? You must be the most eccentric janitor Konoha has ever seen.” 

He leaned over her and Sakura flushed in embarrassment. Oh god. Oh god, someone saw her! Tears of humiliation leaked from the corner of her eyes and she hid her face in her hands. “Noooo! It was for a mission, but please don’t tell anyone!” Her mind cracked and she went berserk as she suddenly grabbed Kakashi’s shoulders and shook him hard, “NO ONE WILL KNOW!!!” Like she was trying to hide her face in Phantom of the Opera, she hissed. “If you reveal what you saw, I will make sure to steal all of your masks. One. By. One.” Madness loomed behind her eyes as she threatened her teacher wholeheartedly. This was a jutsu she’d never use again!

Kakashi merely chuckled as his student shook him like a rag doll. To him, it was quite funny to see his pink menace act so embarrassed. He couldn’t stop laughing! He should mess with his students more often. Wiping a tear from his eye, Kakashi said, “Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about your hobbies. Haha! Now…” He calmed down the girl before he got serious. “What did you find out?”

Sakura regained her sanity and straightened up. True to her professional side, she got straight to business. “Dosu and the sound team are full of psychos, that’s confirmed, but they had a meeting in the restroom. And I could have sworn I heard Orochimaru. However, the sound was blocked after that. I won’t make assumptions, but that teacher had a lot of weird questions. I don’t know how he’s related to Orochimaru, but his line of thought reminds me of him.” She could say this as both elder sister and weirded out kunoichi. Her strange man radar had a 99% accuracy rate. Even though she was being silly, she didn’t forget to take note of everything the teacher said and the way he acted. And no one else was in the restroom either. “He felt too comfortable with me. Again, no assumptions, but I have a feeling.”

“Hmm. Yes, I saw his actions. He did seem very comfortable. But the teachers have all been in touch with multiple of the highest shinobi and vetted by each village. Unless there’s something bigger going on between nations, it’d be hard to disguise as or work with the people here. Orochimaru is too famous to hide. However, he is good at infiltration.” He eyed Sakura’s curse mark on her neck as she talked. The Forest of Death was an example of that. Orochimaru wanted Sakura so it made sense for her to be suspicious of everything. So he couldn’t punish her for leaving the arena and said, “I’ll keep an eye out.” He finished talking, but noticed Sakura biting her lip as if she was guilty. Ho? “Sakura? What else are you hiding? Hmm?”

“A-Ano…” She twiddled her fingers together and looked to the side. “What if…and this is a big what if…What if I also had a feeling that there miiiight be a bigger thing at foot?” She didn’t know if Kakashi was going to hinder her plans before because of his duties as a law-abiding teacher, but he just let her go even though she left her team, spied on visiting ninja and went in the men’s restroom. Maybe he’d give her the benefit of the doubt. Even though she convinced Naruto and Sasuke about the possible invasion, asking a teacher about it was a different story no matter how close they were.

“Go on. I won’t bite.” Kakashi winked at her playfully to lighten the atmosphere. “You can trust me, Sakura.” He didn’t want to betray that trust. She may be crazy at times, but Sakura was still the earnest kunoichi he knew and she wouldn’t abandon her team for just anything, even if the reasons she listed for her actions were ridiculous. He knew Sakura had a good heart.

“Okay, here goes. Kakashi-Sensei, we believe Konoha might get invaded.” She knew so, but she didn’t have proof and talking invisible systems who knew the original story plots of a world didn’t count. “And that Orochimaru will be a big part of it.”

Kakashi blinked slowly as he didn’t expect that. 

She took in a deep breath as she dealt the final blow. “And it will happen during the Chuunin Exams.”

……………………………

………………………….

A certain teacher stood behind his students as they watched over the arena. Sasuke had already won and it was break time. “Plans change indeed.” He eyed Sasuke as he paced around his spot while the kyuubi child looked about worried. Once upon a time, he would have seen Sasuke as a great candidate and as such, he would have been affected by his curse by now. He even planned on him spending a bit of time in the hospital while getting a taste of the power he could have from the seal. 

But then Sakura came along and not only is she still funny as ever, she didn’t even seem to be affected by his curse. How impossible. It took many experiments to get it right and he knew the effects. She wasn't even compatible! And yet here she was just jabbering on as an old man. He knew she'd pull through! She really did take after her grandmother. 

He never expected to see his sister’s lookalike decades later and if he had to choose between the village or Sakura, the answer was simple. The village was only a means to an end, but Sakura’s mysterious appearance was definitely hiding a great secret. Possibly a secret more interesting than all of his research combined. Yessss, that girl knew something. It would explain how he, the legendary sannin who could find an Uchiha and revive the dead to a certain point, couldn’t find a single woman from his youth. He had to get her, but she was quite…ethical for someone with such destructive tendencies. She seemed to always seek trouble if her latest mission to investigate him proved anything.

If he killed that damn hokage, would she hate him? That man stole his world away from him, he caused Elder Sister to leave him, but what about now? Hmm…He never cared for meaningless ethics in a bloody era of hypocrites, but now… 

He should test her. See what she would do and how far she would go to stop his plans. He didn’t know how, but she suspected him and he wouldn’t be surprised if she knew more. The girl who he thought was just a random Haruno fangirl was actually hiding her true self. The investigation from years ago didn’t match the person he saw in the present. If she saw the extent of his power and resources, would she leave with him? He knew the Uchiha brat Sasuke would have no hesitation, but Sakura? She wouldn’t. Hmm…Hm…Poor Kabuto will be ever more confused at the latest changes he was going to tell. 

Fufu. Orochimaru smiled as his plan changed direction. For him, life was a series of experiments. And Sakura was the catalyst and obsession he never realized he had. What wouldn’t he do, indeed? Hokages die all the time, but this girl hid everything he’s ever wanted to know in that brain of hers. He needed to get to her and power didn’t seduce her. As for the Hokage…Well. Depending on things, he may come out lucky kekekeh.

And so, the transformation to yandere little bro was complete. His eyes shone like an obsessed snake as he hummed, “Sakura, Sakura, show me your true colors. One by one, you’ll reveal your secrets to me.”

Sakura Haruno. Two women, one name. How fateful their encounters. How many secrets they’ve kept. Elder Sister, where have you been?

Meanwhile, Dosu and his team couldn’t look back at their ‘sensei’ as they focused their eyes in front. Dosu gulped. Even though he was mad at how fickle their leader was, he couldn’t argue with him as chills ran down his back. He didn’t care about her, but he felt sorry for that Sakura bitch. Once caught, his leader never let go of people he held interest in. Ever.  
…………………..

…………………

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

Konnichi Wa and time for hot cocoa!

LOL imagine seeing double Sakuras everywhere. I’d be surprised if the Akatsuki didn’t just go for therapy. Be like, “Hey doc, so I know we discussed my trauma before, but I seriously think this pink chick is a time traveller. She showed up from my past — I swear she existed! I mean, I was young…No, I don’t need medication!” And yessss, imagining Sakura as the new Nurse Joy, popping up everywhere never aging — and all of them are out for your wallets. It’d frighten any grown ninja hahaha!

Also, sorry it took forever! Had a bunch of demons to bankai and my scrivener file just stopped opening up. My heart almost stopped! After much restarting and hitting jerks on forums I’m lurking on in my head, it turns out my mac needed an update. OTL So thanks for your patience! I’m just glad I didn’t lose my work SOB.

How are you all doing? It’s Feb omg. I’m trying to gain the mindset of a badass monk in training and yeah. Except for the dreams of McDonalds and the detoxication, it is okay. (A lifetime of cokes and cheeseburgers leads to defiant tastebuds). So learning to cook! 

I hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for your reviews! They keep me going. And as usual, please review and have a nice latte or margarita! Yum, saw this cool christmas vodka drink and now I just want to buy a set of glasses to practice mixing. But I can’t bring them with me after a year so conflicted. Do I reaaaally need to feel like a classy bartender in a vintage Italian cafe or can I just focus on studies? 

Yup. Gone crazy. So cheers! Who else going crazy with me? Haha jk jk XD

And thank you, much love and see you in the next chap! Mwah!

—WitchySkies


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